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cash money ho

I was thinking today about money and time and how time is money. So I thought to myself, self, it's been a while since since you did a little blog begging. And my self answered, well then. Just do it.

Yea, it's begging time again. And no, I don't feel bad about doing this. It's not like I'm forcing people to give. I'm not going to take down my website if no one throws some cash in my bucket. But the fact is, I put a lot of time and effort into this place and if you feel like giving me something, that's real sweet of you. And if you don't or just can't, well I still love you. Really.

You may ask, just what would I do with that money I "earn" from begging? Maybe I'll put it towards a laptop, so I could spend more time working on my writing.

Just imagine the rewards you would all reap when you get signed, numbered copies of the next Great American Novel, and when I mention every one of you by name when I'm on Letterman.

Maybe I'll just leave it in the Paypal account until one day when I decide to run away to some tropical island where I will spend my time sipping fancy drinks and snapping my fingers at the cabana boy.

Maybe I'll buy a Game Cube. Maybe I'll pay a bill or two. Maybe I'll blow it all on Slurpees and chocolate covered Oreos. Maybe I'll take you out to dinner or go on a spending spree at Border's or finally pay that hitman to....

Nevermind about that.

This isn't a weeklong pledge-a-thon thing. I'm not going to sing and dance for you. I'm just going to ask politey and continue on with what I was doing and maybe feel a little weird later on that I actually asked people for money, but then I'll remind myself that plenty of bloggers do this without feeling weird at all and they make plenty of money and maybe that's my problem, is that I'm so passive aggressive about this.

Perhaps I should just say, Donate or Die!

Ok, nevermind.

If cash isn't your thing, you could always buy me something.

And if you are torn between thinking that I'm whoring myself for cash and that you'd like to be my next customer, but can't bring yourself to feel dirty over it, then just give a few bucks to Magen David Adom to redeem your guilty conscience.


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Hello and Howdy from gorgeous Hawai'i! While Kate is busy rustling us up some breakfast, I am out on the Infamous Lanai, smokin' and blogging away. As such, let me take this opportunity to leap right in to the Letter Of The Day... H is for Helping Hand... [Read More]


Ah. It's always the ones with the negative remarks that are too coward to leave a name.

May Baby Jeebus give you strength in your time of cowardice. Rock on.

maybe "pathetic" was meant to be his signature? it would seem to fit.

Bored, Bored, Bored.... away on business, missing my wife and kids. Gonna give you something I wish I had right now (come on kids, get your mind out of the gutter!). Email to follow (from my work address)

Oh, by the way, I take back what I said about a month ago: Derek MAY be as good as Nomar, at least if you include the playoffs. Guess he's going to make you Yankee fans forget the regular season, just like Reggie used to do.

Finally, yeah, I know an exciting game is going on (writing this during the 6th inning), but I could give a crap who wins the series (Sox would make sense for me if I was more business minded). It's just no fun by yourself. No four year old son to keep up past his bedtime, teaching him baseball strategy (He's picking up the AL side pretty easily, y'all got the DH). No friends at home or at the bar to argue calls with.... Heck, maybe I should buy myself a present!

I give you the gift of spam free comments...

That load very slow...

Can I buy you dinner instead? And no, I won't expect sex afterward. ;)

Michele, how much are you asking for? Be direct. Is it $10. Is it $20 as a commemoration for the new Jackson? Don't be squimish. Seriously.....I.....mean.....every....written.....word. I won't say money is no object. How about, pharoah.....it is said. It is done. This is all making me pee-ed. All your coyness.

Michele, will you accept an IOU...? I'm a bit short this week...


Had to go the Wish List route, cash being the one thing we all need but that I, unfortunately, do not have. Here's hoping one of those big spenders from Andrew Sullivan's readership happens along and clicks that PayPal button for ya.

Bunch of cheapskates.....penny pinching.....nickel groping.....stingy pie holes.....Columbus Day misers.....cigarette panderers.....church plate thieves.....used-newspaper readers.....no deodorant supply-side economists.....connoisseurs of cheap perfumes.....Starbuck’s coffee cup rubbish-pickers to get cheap refills.....McDonald’s ketchup packet collectors.....week old condom re-users.....telephone coin-return foragers.....Uncle Scrooges.....Keystone-beer alcoholics.....non-tipping restaurant customers.....tampon borrowers.....its-the-thought-that-counts gypsies.....free food samples aficionados.....creak-when-you-walk marathoners.....generosity blackholes.....gratitude anti-matters.....carnival of spinsters.....I--me--myself Bermuda triangle.....A bridge too far credit card holders.....swimming pool urinal acquaintances.....kindness third-stringers.....pot luck vagrants.....free entertainment tourist.....America’s all-stars of counterfeit appreciation.....