song for the deaf
Bad day at black rock.
That's what I've titled today. Work related angst and other matters have me very unhappy. And I realized that more than half of my stress the past few weeks has been self-made, by taking on too many things at one time and by letting people have their way with me, so to speak.
I've given a lot of myself over the past year or so. Now, it's time to give to myself. I am dropping out of any group blogs (not including Command Post) I am participating in or have promised to participate in. I am no longer taking on charity work. I am going to hand the reigns of Four Color Hell over to Jason if he wants it.
When you do things for a cause or for some altruistic reason, you don't do it to get anything in return. You do it because it's right, because you can't spend all your time talking about the unfairness of the world if you don't try to battle that unfairness yourself.
But there really comes a point where you have to say, enough. Doing out of the goodness of your heart is one thing; being taken advantage of because you have a good heart is another. Everyone has a boiling point and I've reached mine.
Today was the proverbial straw. Something happened at work that set me off, and it just went downhill from there. I needed to dump all the extra weight on my shoulders. I did that and I'm still doing it. There was an awful lot of weight there, a lot of it self-imposed.
Please don't ask me, at least for a while, to participate in any kind of blog drive or charity or group effort. I have this problem where I don't know how to say no, so make it easy on me and don't ask at all.
Anyhow, I won't have time for anything. I've decided to take on something that is for me and me only. I'm going to participate in National Novel Writing Month. I'm pretty much clearing my calendar until that's over.
It's just me, this blog, and my novel in progress which will be posted here eventually. Everything else has been dumped into the recycle bin and I'm about to click empty.
And this story about an emotional punch having the same effect as a physical punch? It's true.
UPDATE: I forgot to mention that I will be submitting a short version of my upcoming novel to David and Val's Sudden Fiction project. Deadline is October 20, publication date is Halloween. This is a good warm up exercise for those participating in NaNoWriMo.