song for the deaf
Bad day at black rock.
That's what I've titled today. Work related angst and other matters have me very unhappy. And I realized that more than half of my stress the past few weeks has been self-made, by taking on too many things at one time and by letting people have their way with me, so to speak.
I've given a lot of myself over the past year or so. Now, it's time to give to myself. I am dropping out of any group blogs (not including Command Post) I am participating in or have promised to participate in. I am no longer taking on charity work. I am going to hand the reigns of Four Color Hell over to Jason if he wants it.
When you do things for a cause or for some altruistic reason, you don't do it to get anything in return. You do it because it's right, because you can't spend all your time talking about the unfairness of the world if you don't try to battle that unfairness yourself.
But there really comes a point where you have to say, enough. Doing out of the goodness of your heart is one thing; being taken advantage of because you have a good heart is another. Everyone has a boiling point and I've reached mine.
Today was the proverbial straw. Something happened at work that set me off, and it just went downhill from there. I needed to dump all the extra weight on my shoulders. I did that and I'm still doing it. There was an awful lot of weight there, a lot of it self-imposed.
Please don't ask me, at least for a while, to participate in any kind of blog drive or charity or group effort. I have this problem where I don't know how to say no, so make it easy on me and don't ask at all.
Anyhow, I won't have time for anything. I've decided to take on something that is for me and me only. I'm going to participate in National Novel Writing Month. I'm pretty much clearing my calendar until that's over.
It's just me, this blog, and my novel in progress which will be posted here eventually. Everything else has been dumped into the recycle bin and I'm about to click empty.
And this story about an emotional punch having the same effect as a physical punch? It's true.
UPDATE: I forgot to mention that I will be submitting a short version of my upcoming novel to David and Val's Sudden Fiction project. Deadline is October 20, publication date is Halloween. This is a good warm up exercise for those participating in NaNoWriMo.
I will also be posting excerpts and such in the group NaNoWriMo blog Blovel, founded by Andy of World Wide Rant fame.
Comments
I can certainly understand where you're coming from. Sometimes you have to put yourself first.
Good luck in the novel department!
Posted by: Ith | October 10, 2003 03:49 PM
Michele, would you mind donating some of your time and energy to the "Save a Negro" fund. We don't have any accounting records to keep track of, but you have my word that your time and efforts would go to a worthy cause.
Also, would you mind putting a cover on those TPS reports? That would be greeeeaaaaaat.
Posted by: glenn | October 10, 2003 03:52 PM
Bahaha!
Posted by: Sekimori | October 10, 2003 03:53 PM
I backed out of all the collaborations I was in a while back. I guess I didn't have as much to say anymore.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | October 10, 2003 04:10 PM
This sound like a job for carbernet, candles and calgon.
Posted by: Steve Hogan | October 10, 2003 04:24 PM
Good luck with NaNoWriMo!
Posted by: Shelby | October 10, 2003 05:18 PM
Bully for you. Hope that you can shave off a slice of that novel for Sudden Fiction.
D
Posted by: David Strain | October 10, 2003 05:46 PM
I'm proud of you m'dear.
Posted by: robyn | October 10, 2003 06:10 PM
Good for you.
Posted by: MikeR | October 10, 2003 06:32 PM
Damn. So that means that shipment of Ammo Day posters I was going to mail to you tonight should go to someone else?
Good for you, Michele.
You were living proof of the adage, "if you want something done, ask a busy person."
I hope you can do this without guilt or remorse. There are 300+ million other Americans who WILL pick up the ball if you drop it. They might not have your fast ball, but they'll do as pinch hitters.
Posted by: Mrs. du Toit | October 10, 2003 10:01 PM
I wondered how long you could carry that load.
You might consider a day or so, once in a while, devoted to napping and old movies on the VCR or DVD.
Posted by: Peter | October 10, 2003 10:39 PM
Where do I start? Lets see... Two kids, full time job, two bitchy sisters (no offense), a basement apartment, and a jackass of an ex husband.You support 100% everything that you believe in. You shy away from any limelight, don't take much credit for the things you do. Other then having great parents, and a wonderful brother in law, you do carry alot of weight on your shoulders (good thing Justin is always there to help.)That is why I thought you deserved OCAs Merit Award. You give and give and give! Take some time off, relax. However don't take too much time, you do too much too well. People need you. Thanks for doing so much for others. (I think I'm gonna cry) Love ya Chele, Lew
Posted by: Lewis | October 11, 2003 12:28 AM
P.S.Chele, did you enter the boob-a-thon???
Posted by: Lewis | October 11, 2003 12:30 AM
You're doing NaNo? Cool, me too. :)
Posted by: M | October 11, 2003 12:32 AM
I could have written this post myself about taking on too much stuff. This semester has been incredibly brutal and it's not over yet... I'll probably have no hair by the time December comes 'round. Ack!
I'm tackling NaNoWriMo, too... the last thing I need is another major project, but this one is important... it's about writing, and that's been a particular demon of mine for some time. Like you, I feel it's time to place me before other stuff for a change.
Good luck with your writing project -- I look forward to reading more about it! :)
Posted by: Mariann | October 11, 2003 08:48 AM