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my slippery soapbox

Why am I the last to know everything? I found this out by going to the website of the local news channel:

East Meadow parents on edge after officials warn of child predator

There's concern as East Meadow parents send their children to school Monday, after parents found out that a child predator may be in the area.

Officials have warned parents that a Spanish speaking man tried to lure a fifth grade girl into his car a week ago. Police say the girl ran away from the car that has been described as gray with black striping.

Parents in the district say they are upset after finding out school officials knew about this man four days before they were notified.

Police say they have increased patrols in the area.

A child predator may be in the area. And he may not be. So I'm not going to get all spastic about this and start locking my children in the house and giving them pepper spray to carry around.

I didn't get a notice home about this. Usually, we get a nice little letter when something like this happens, saying that the school and the police have the situation under control but, in the words of the Overlord of Homeland Security, stay vigilant.

It's my job as a parent to be vigilant. I don't need a strange man in a car or a copy of a mass mailing to tell me to keep my kids safe and teach them how to look out for themselves.

So, if the parents found out about this today, today being Tuesday, that means school officials knew about it on Friday. Obviously, it happened too late to send a note home Friday. Saturday and Sunday, well, I'm sure the school secretary isn't going to come in on her day off to type up a notice that yes, a nasty man was out and about in his car yesterday and he's probably gone by now but, you know, just keep an eye out for Spanish speaking men in black cars. Monday was a school holiday. Meaning, the only day that parent could have been notified was today.

I hate when parents get all indignant and crazed about the wrong things. There's a million things to complain to this school district about, but something that was completely out of their control is not one of them.

Some people just like to play the part of the pissed-off person.

And not for nothing, and maybe I'm engaging in a bit of blame-the-victim's-parents, but perhaps some of these parents should be more concerned that their daughters look and dress like they are twenty year old whores instead of fifth grade girls. Maybe older guys wouldn't be leering at the girls all the time if the girls actually looked their age.

That's my soapbox and I'm stepping down off of it before I get hurt.


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» easy lesson from redsugar muse
michele's got a perv in her neighborhood. i've said it before, and i'll say it again. teach your kids not to go anywhere with strangers.... [Read More]


I agree with you on the dress thing (well, all of it, really). Of course little girls should be able to dress like Britney Spears and sashay down the street without even getting rude comments, much less be molested or kidnapped. We all should be free from predators and evil deeds. But what should be and what is are different things, and parents have an obligation to manage risk for their children. Too many parents don't seem inclined to accept that responsibility. One fairly recent area in victimization research is looking at the victim's contribution to his/her victimization. It's not blaming the victim, precisely, but more trying to understand what puts people at higher risk. A child could be victimized no matter what he or she does, if an offender is determined enough to get that child. But a child behaving in a sexually enticing way would be more likely to draw sexual attention from a predator (or excite desires he already has to the point he may be more likely than before to offend), creating a definite additional risk factor - one that is easily managed by the parent. So holding the parent accountable for that additional risk is, I think, reasonable.

I agree Susanna(and of course with Michele).As I understand it,these predators look for the least difficult prey,so in addition to the enticement factor of such dress it also broadcasts a certain lack of parental involvement in the girl's life.My daughter is entering the convent at 12 thank you very much.

I don't think child molesters particularly care for the ones who dress like trollops. Defeats the purpose of boning for helpless little kids. Just the same, I have this sudden urge to follow you around with a videocamera until this guy mistakenly even glances at a young girl in your presence. And then casually toss you a crowbar.

Not because I think you're overreacting, which you obviously aren't. Just because I know you'd do the right thing. And I'd like to be able to rewind and watch it again. :D

Cant seem to find your blog entry from earlier today in which you discussed the father of one of the accused killing himself. Where can I find it?

Anonymous: I deleted it because it was pointless and would only cause distress if the wrong person found it.

okay. Thanks.

if you think it right prehaps delete my question about it as well.

i knew something was missing. and you can delete this too. maybe i'll just switch to email for my randomness...

"Some people just like to play the part of the pissed-off person."

... and most seem to live on Long Island.


On victimization.....

Dallas has been considering a new approach with crime. If something of high value (say, a laptop, CD collection, portable (read not hard mounted)) is stolen from an unlocked car, the city is considering fining victims for making themselves an enabler.

To judge from the porn fliers that were shoved in my mailbox when I lived in a company dormitory, a lot of men like their 20-year-old whores to dress like Catholic schoolgirls.

Pedophiles, by definition, are attracted to children who look like.....well, children!

I have 2 daughters, one's 20 and one's 10, so I know exactly what I'm in for over the next few years from the 10 yr old : Squeaker (the 10yr old) and I had a discussion about how all of the "cool" girls in her class had boyfriends and dressed like Britney Spears, and why couldn't she be "cool" too? I tried to explain that she was not ready for those types of things, that there were actual scientific studies that show that having a boyfriend is detrimental to teenaged girls, that boys have cooties, you know, all of the basic parental arguements, and you know what her response was? "But Mom, how can I help being so cute, I got my attraction gene from you?" I just about laughed myself fuzzy. Good thing I have a big stick.