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this is halloween: 2

jacktoy.jpg[Day 3 of 31 Days of Halloween: I forgot to post yesterday's so I'll post two today]

Lynn of Tastes Like Burning was the first one to take the plunge into the Halloween Lists of Five. Her list:

Five things that have no right to be given as treats:

(Based on my actual childhood traumas)
1. Oranges.
2. Peanuts in the shell.
3. Last year's Christmas candy.
4. McDonald's gift certificates.
5. Melted chocolate bars.

I'm sure you all have something to add to Lynn's list. Me, I only have one thing to add. A Jack Chick religious tract.

Nothing says "Happy Halloween" like a cute little comic book with pictures of cute little kids in cute little Halloween costumes, and one of those kids gets hit by a car and dies, all because he liked to go to haunted houses and get free candy.

There are many other ways to be come the scourge of the neighborhood on Halloween. None of them are as bad as handing out Chick tracts, but at least the kids could get a laugh out of those.

There is nothing funny about hard-boiled eggs in your Halloween bag. Nor boogers:

The worst thing I've ever gotten was a tissue with boogers in it. I was so disgusted. I washed my hand for twenty minutes.

Of course, there's always the razors in the apples. That's gotta hurt.


What about the do-gooders and dentists (my uncle is among them -- the dentists) who give out toothbrushes and toothpaste as treats?

Everyone always knew the houses where they give out little versions of real candy bars. Reese cups, Snickers, Butterfingers, Baby Ruths... that was the GOOD SHIT!

Yeah, top of my list for "not appropriate for Halloween treats" is....

Pocket change.

Yeah, thanks there Mrs. Holmes. Appreciate the nickel and 2 pennies there. I guess I could buy a piece of gum with that. I know it was 20 years ago, but really, that's like giving a kid a quarter today.

Tell me none of you got nickels and pennies on halloween.

And yes, 20 years later I STILL remember which house it was that gave away nickels on halloween.

A few years ago someone gave my nephew a box of Parmalat milk.

Last year my young son said, "Hey, mom, this tootsie roll has SPRINKLES on it!"

Dead ants half-embedded all over the damn thing. Apparently, a verrry old piece of candy. I threw away EVERY tootsie roll!

Screams in terror!

I forgot all about those religious tracts. Now I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Thanks :-)