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inside the School of "militant" activism

I wonder if all "militants" go to the same school. I bet that somewhere, in the dark underground of this world, there is a dingy classroom where a course in Violent Activism 101 takes place and a room filled with members of ALF, ELF, Hamas and other "activist" organizations are busy writing a two-page essay on how to put nails into bombs.

The teacher, a man with a long gray ponytail who was arrested over 100 times in the late 60's, addresses the class. He holds a newspaper. "Which one of you," he says, "is responsible for this?" He reads to the class:

A militant animal rights group that claimed it bombed an Emeryville biotechnology firm in August is taking responsibility for Friday's explosion at Shaklee Inc.'s offices in Pleasanton -- warning that next time the bombs will be bigger and more damaging.

In an anonymous e-mail sent to fellow activists across the country early Tuesday morning, Revolutionary Cells described the explosive used at Shaklee, a company that sells health, beauty and household products, as a 10-pound ammonium nitrate bomb "strapped with nails."

A small, wiry boy who goes by the name Joey the Flash raises his hand. "Me, sir," he says. "It's part of the my final project for this class."

Joey the Flash stands up to recite the statement he left for the owners of biotech company.

"All customers and their families are considered legitimate targets. "We have given all the collaborators a chance to withdraw from their relations from (Huntingdon). We will now be doubling the size of every device we make. Today it is 10 pounds, tomorrow 20. Until your buildings are nothing more than rubble. It is time for this war to truly have two sides. No more will all of the killing be done by the oppressors, now the oppressed will strike back.

The Hamas members whistle and cheer. "We must remember that," one says, "for the next Jewish holiday." "The ALF and ELF contingent in the classroom break out into wild applause. The teacher grins. "We must all emulate this young man, his group and their efforts. I like how he took the nail idea from Hamas and incorporated it with ELF and ALF tactics." He takes a diploma from his desk and hands it to Joey the Flash.

"Congratulations, Joey. You have graduated from the School of Militant Activism. You've earned credits in painting slogans, vandalizing SUVs, freeing animals from farms and laboratories and setting fires to unoccupied buildings. And now, you've put fear into the heart of biotech firms. I wish you look as you move on to your graduate studies in Killing Innocent People For Your Cause."

The spritual leader of Hamas offers a prayer and the ELF and ALF gang break out the tofu and herbal tea and they slap each other on the back and party until class is dismissed.


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» Give 'Em A Dose Of Reality from aubreyturner.org
I have a simple solution to this kind of nonsense. Snipers. [Read More]


I live in the Bay Area and hear these people talk all the time. The extreme voices from every corner out here can be very trying on the soul of a moderate.

I just hope the Emeryville and Pleasanton police (or the FBI) catch these fuckers and fry them. In hogfat.

I really don't understand why we don't use the laws and tools available to go after these lunk heads. If someone blows something up, they're a criminal. If an organization facilitates it, doesn't that make it organized crime? It seems that we should be able to, at the least, zap their financial resources via the anti-organized crime laws. Besides, last I checked, any group that attempts to coerce politicial power or impact public policy by using the application or threat of violence is a terrorist group. Why aren't we freezing the assets of ALF/ELF/etc., prosecuting individuals or organizations that provide financial support, etc?

We had to wait for 9/11 to get (somewhat) serious with Islamofascist terrorism. What's it going to take before we deal with these (other) idiots?

- Dave

I look forward to the day when these morons are as marginalized as the SLA wackos from the 70s. I just hope it doesn't require them to commit murder to get them in prison where they belong.

If the rotten enviroswines get marginalized the way the SLA did on May 17, 1974, that would cheer me up no end.

Quite a few police officers have been mobilized for the recent campaigns in Afghanistan and Iraq. They have recent experience in counter-terror operations. Maybe the best use for these people when they demobilize and go back to their departments would be the creation of state-wide interagency task-forces, in their various states, to deal with this threat.

I'm not too far from Bob SF (and closer to Pleasanton). I also happen to be going buck hunting later this month. I'd love to have some of these chickenshit little bastards come with me.

With a big enough rifle, you don't have to be close. Try a Barrett .50 sniper system.

Barrett's cool, but these little pissants deserve up close and personal. I probably know people who work in that Shaklee office.

YES!! Surely these are all great idea's why not. i mean wasnt this country founded on violent uprisal! and please shooting people who , yes break the law, but bomb only uninhabited buildings, would be a great way to presserve our civil liberties. I for one wholey support actions against people who's only concern, however misguided, is the preservation of the ecosystem we depend on. Every day we send people around the world to blow up buildings, shoot people for there choices, and for the most part to promote capitalism and growth of our economy.It's great to see my fellow americans out here supporting one violent extremist group and not another, only because its what they have been taught to except. And of course my little right wingers you are all going to bash on me for what i have to say. so when your done killing all those "lunkheads" on your hunting trip, mabye you could stop by a navy base in california some time and kill me too. becuase obviously im a criminal too for having the same views, to some extent, as your above discribed, morons, idiots, and whacko's. before you go around crying about what every one else does why dont you take a look at where your country is really headed and which side of the fence your really on.in the 40's hitler tried to take over the world. in the new millenium the u.s. will. and the oppression of a groups voice is answered by the visious hand of activism. mabye you people will listen next time your asked let people live freely and have a voice.most of these organizations were at one time very peaceful. but because people like govenor bush in florida,who send police squads in to beat peacful protesters, cant seem to let people voice ther views in a way that doesnt cause alarm. citizens like those in ELF and ALF are driven to drastic measure's to make there point heard. violence begets violence, and in no way agree with violent activism but at the same people like this forums viewers and writers are the reason they even exsiting. ignorant oppression. sorry to have put gloom in your day. blessed be be and merry meet my angry friends. hopefully my rant will open some eys or at least plant a seed of hope in your minds however deeply cover it may be by the propganda you've undoubtably been suppject too.