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Monday fluff: VH1's list fetish

I woke up in a great mood today and lest I tempt fate and the Gods of Mood Swings, I am going to do my best today to stay away from politics, war, etc. and I'm certainly going to scrap that post on religion I had ready to go. All filler, no killer. Until I read a story somewhere that pisses me off.

Until then, we have non-political (though not non-controversial) things to get on with, for instance: How VH1's Listmaking Is Getting Out Of Hand.

I had to make a decision. Do I take issue with VH1's list of best album covers ever (Born In The USA? Please, spare me) or with their Funniest Music Moments list?

Well, the album covers list would require research, as I can probably come up with 50 pieces of cover art that are infinitely better than anything on their list. So we'll stick with the funny.

Right away, I see a problem on this list.

50. American Idol - Bad Auditions There's a big difference between funny and pathetic.

48. David Lee Roth - "Just A Gigolo" Video See number 50.

35. Tom Green - "My Bum" Song Sigh. See number 50.

Now, judging from the number of recent (meaning post-funny) Saturday Night Live sketches in the top 50, and considering how long the concepts of both music and funny have been around, one would be inclined to believe that the inclusion of all those lame-ass skits is what one would call product placement.

I do agree with a good portion of the list: Spinal Tap, Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, Homerpalooza, South Park, Ren and Stimpy, to name a few. I do think their choice of Beavis and Butthead's moment with Cher is all wrong; the duo's video reviews were much funnier and much more quotable. But Cher is VH1 friendly and they can show the video after they guffaw over it's funniness, so Cher it is. The obviousness that the list was molded to fit around VH1 programming should really go without saying. So, I said it anyhow. Sue me.

Like I was saying, I'm sure we could come up with funnier moments than more than half of VH1's list. Of course, their idea of funny and my idea of funny are two different things:


  • Fred Durst thinks he has talent (tied with Fred Durst, heartbroken over being used by Britney Spears, falls in love with Halle Berry).

  • Madonna goes on living as if she still has a relevant career.

  • Dashboard Confessional (tied with: people crying in the audience at Dashboard Confessional concerts)

  • Hair Metal. Specifically, Men armed with six gallon jugs of Aqua-Net and wearing leopard-motif spandex singing about how much they love girls.

  • The Dixie Chicks claiming they are a rock act.

  • Bruce Willis embarking on a singing career.

  • Jewel's poetry.

  • Post-crack Whitney Houston.

  • The SNL skit where Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder get together and record a record called Ebony and Ivory. Oh, wait. That was real.

  • The 1988 Grammies when ODB ran up on stage and screamed, “Wu-Tang is for the children. We teach the children!"

  • David Lee Roth in assless pants.

  • David Lee Roth: hair plugs.

  • 2003: David Lee Roth smashing his face open on stage doing a stunt leftover from 1984 and having to cancel his tour.

  • David Lee Roth.

I think you get the point. Your turn. And don't piss me off or I'll have to start posting about politics again to get my aggression out.


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Comments

Waitaminute. DLR tried to do that Van Halen backflip and hurt himself? How on earth did I miss this!?!

As for my list of funny moments in rock(which is fairly similar to Michele's), I'd add Garth Brooks's attempt to become a rock singer (the Chris Gaines alter ego). What made it even sillier was the fact that Brooks's idea of a rocker was a lot closer to Kenny Loggins than David Bowie.

my fav was the story about Winona Ryder sending her friend to ask a guy to let her cut in line to use the can.

You wanna talk about still thinking your career is relevant. Winona AND Madonna think this is 1992 and that they're A-List celebrities. I'm sure everyone has heard the story about Prince getting downgraded to a B-level celeb and getting told to wait in line like everyone else? :-D

My favorite meant-to-be-funny music moment: The SNL sketch where Stevie Wonder plays the world's WORST Stevie Wonder impersonator. "Wait . . . I do a great Anita Bryant!"

My favorite unintentionally-funny music moment: The video of Milli Vanilli on stage lip-synching in a live concert when the audio starts skipping. "Girl you know it's . . . Girl you know it's . . . Girl you know it's . . . "

jewel spending all that time and money to get her boobs fixed instead of her teeth.

retracts claws

Another note about hair metal: the fact that these guys had on more makeup than the chicks in their videos (see the album cover for Poison's "Look What the Cat Dragged In").

Aw come on "hair metal" had its uses. I know quite a few guys who had their cheeries popped by girls all fired up after a Poison or Winger gig! Hair metal existed (exists) so that metal-heads of both sexes can get laid.

Some of the greatest songs to rut to came out of those bands.

John Belushi imitating Joe Cocker, while Joe Cocker was singing.

John Belushi as Ludwig van Beethoven, as Ray Charles.

And one final lyric: “Bunnies, bunnies, it must be bunnies!”

Or maybe midgets.

Seriously, DLR hurt himself like that? Why wasn't I notified? And why wasn't there a Photoshop contest about it at Fark? Drat.

"The SNL skit where Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder get together and record a record called Ebony and Ivory. Oh, wait. That was real."

And it wasn't funny if you lived with someone who owned the album.

Though the cover art had a cool kind of Tetris-y thing going.

I hear you, Sean. I had a roommate in college who thought John Tesh was a musical genius. :-S Fortunately I don't remember the album covers.

I grew up listening to bands like metalica and boy have they become uptight wimps. What a let down. VH1 is getting out of hand...I don't even recognize that channel anymore.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-I got one, I got one. The Night Ranger song "Sister Christian" makes me laugh out loud everytime I hear it (really). It's the story of a high school girl who stays true to herself (and God) by avoiding sex and pregnancy thereby ensuring her future success.Easily the goofiest hit single ever!

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