bitchslap ted rall day, volume infinity
Ted Rall on why people hate George Bush.
I want you to guess. Come on, guess what's Ted's number one reason for hating George Bush. Three guesses, the first two don't count.
Bush is guilty of a single irredeemable act so heinous and anti-American that Nixon's corruption and Reagan's intellectual inferiority pale by comparison. No matter what he does, Democrats and Republicans who love their country more than their party will never forgive him for it.
Bush stole the presidency.
This is after he goes through various other reasons why some people hate the President, and all the usual keywords are present: stupid, AWOL, frat boy, ignorant; and, of course, all the usual blatherings about people disappearing in the middle of the night and Jose Padilla and the concentration camp that is Gitmo.
Hey, Ted? Jose Padilla is a terrorist and traitor. Just so you know.
[M]ost Americans now consider Bush to be no more legitimate than Saddam Hussein, who also came to power in a coup d'état.
Well, let's see. Saddam had no one else on the ballot. Saddam had thugs at the voting boths, whose machine guns and stoney glares reminded you what you were there to do. Saddam had the same thugs going from house to house, dragging people out to vote, making sure that every ballot had his name checked off by every voting-elligible citizen in Iraq.
So, quite the difference there. But Rall and his buddies just love playing up that Bush=Saddam angle, almost as much as the Indymediates love playing up the Bush=Hitler meme.
In case Ted is unaware, this is what the 2000 electoral map looks like. While the majority of the states are red, there are quite a few blue states, leading one to believe that this wasn't so much of a coup d'état as a contested election.
Now, before you start criticizing me for being a Bush flag-waver, note this: I did not vote for Bush in the 2000 election. Yet, I was able to move on and accept him as my president without becoming mired in the slinging mud that's been thrown for too many years now.
I can say with some certainty that there are several ways in which I think Bush could be doing a better job as president. However, I'm not the kind of person who can spend four years, or maybe more, obessing over the fact that my candidate did not win.
One might think that Rall is just a four-trick pony; 2000 election, SUVS, the Ashcroftian Boot of Dissent Crushing and Quagmire! [which covers all aspects of both Iraq and Afghanistan]
Looks like today it was election time, seeing as that last week he covered SUVs.
Two months after 9/11, when Bush's job approval rating was soaring at 89 percent, 47 percent of Americans told a Gallup poll that he had not won the presidency legitimately. "The election controversy...could make a comeback if Bush's approval ratings were to fall significantly," predicted Byron York in The National Review.
The election controversy making a comeback? To Rall, this is the equivalent of middle-aged woman realizing that bellbottoms are back, going through her old trunks of clothes with glee. Except the clothes are faded, they don't fit quite the same and middle-aged woman just shouldn't wear wide bellbottoms.
If the controversy does come back, Rall would have outlived his usefulness in the whole topic. He has already written hundreds of articles and drawn a hundred comics on the subject of The Stolen Election. His jokes are faded, his cliches worn out. Hackneyed columnists shouldn't try to rehash those heady days of 2000. Rall will end up looking like a mid-life crisis woman in go-go boots and hot pants.
But I bet when he's in his room alone at night, Ted Rall lies in bed and fantasizes about a media frenzy bringing the 2000 election back into the limelight. And what will Rall be muttering under the covers?
To quote the dear Captain Murphy, My nipples are hard just thinking about it.
Sorry about that imagery.