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two problems, one solution

The industrial band Hell on Earth wants to stage a live suicide during one of its concerts in Florida. Unfortunately, "the St. Petersburg police the does not condone public displays of suicide."

Over on the other side of the world, we have Arafat, who is just dying to make himself a martyr and claims he will commit suicide rather than be expelled from his makeshift castle and kingdom.

Here, we have a classic peanut butter/chocolate situation.

Send Hell on Earth over to Arafat's compound and let them stage the concert there, with Arafat as the show-stopping suicide victim.

Hey, you got your Arafat in my rock show! Hey, you got your rock show in my suicide! [light bulb goes off] Wow! Why not combine two great things in one?!?

Yes, that's how great ideas are born. I'd even take up a collection to charter a plane to fly the band over there.


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Michele has discovered "a classic peanut-butter/chocolate situation". It involves Arafat. No, really.... [Read More]


I'll need to consult my trusty copy of Islamic Extremism for Dummies to make sure, but I don't think you can be a martyr by committing suicide, unless you kill a bunch of jews or other infidels in the process, like wearing a bomb or something. I kinda doubt the Hell on Earth guys would go for Arafart wearing a bomb on stage.

Actually, Dave, a really hard-core industrial band ought to love the idea. It's a win-win.

glad ye be alstarboard, matey..

(English to Pirate Translator)


Arrr...'Tis a noble idea indeed!

If there's anybody that deserves a better leader than Arafat, it's Palestine. Hell, any kind of real leader would be good.

Arafat would be nice, but I'd settle for Scott Stapp.

Tip 'im the spot, says I.

Brilliant solution, Michele. Absolutely brilliant.

Hmm, the cops don't want there to be a live suicide onstage; when do the Indymedia types start screaming about how this is SUPPRESSION of ART and DISSENT here in JOHN ASHKKKROFT'S AMERICA? Probably they've already started.

Hmmm..., "live suicide" seems to be a bit of an oxymoron.

Sounds like a plan. As if that Egyptian Dictator really would render himself room temperature*

Yasser is not Palestinian, he is Egyptian.