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a day in the life: Worst.Post.Ever.

Man, you don't blog for a while during a hurricane warning and you get a hundred emails asking if you lost your power.

Well, if I lost my power, I wouldn't be able to read your email, would I?

No, the only thing I've lost is the will to live.

Yes, that was hyperbole. But let's run down the second half of my day, ok?

1 pm: Get major sinus headache.
1:15: Start to feel the usual sinus/allergy related mouth pain from clenching my teeth.
1:30 p.m. Leave work early (note to boss: I meant to leave you a note and forgot).
2pm: Get home, pass out on couch.
2:45 pm: Get woken up by sister screaming at me that I promised to go to the gym with her.
3:00 Steal a Zertec D from sister, hoping it will make the allergies go away, and take the toothache with it.
3:10 Begin workout.
3:30: Start seeing black spots in front of eyes, feel suddenly lightheaded and maybe a little bit stoned.
3:31: Realize that perhaps I should have asked my doctor before I mixed a Zertec D with Paxil, knowing my sordid history with medication.
5:30 Home again, tooth is throbbing. Do not call dentist. Instead, ask bloggers what to do for toothache, knowing full well what they will say.
5:45: Drown tooth in Chivas Regal.
6:00: Other teeth begin to ache and I realize it's not a toothache at all, but my sinuses.
6:15: Drown all the other teeth in a deadly combination of Chivas Regal and Anbesol.
6:30: Get back on couch. Husband is watching Bob Ross paint mountains and clouds. As I drift into unconciousness, I have a waking dream that Bob Ross is talking about sex.
6:31: Become fully awake and appear horrified at the thought of Bob Ross engaging in sexual activities with paintbrushes.

7:00: Try to convince kids that it's really 10pm and they have to go to bed. Give up and decide to just ignore them for the rest of the evening.
7:10: Stare at Weather Channel.
7:30: Stare at Weather Channel.
7:35: Talk to Alan on phone and decide against telling him that there's something really wrong with him if he's going to hook up the laptop to the dial-up so he can blog while his power is out.
8:00: Stare at Weather Channel.
8:30: Go through emails, look at emailed links relating to zionism, 9/11, Arafat, and Wesley Clark and become completely mystified by words that have more than three letters. Get bedspins even though I'm not in bed.
8:40: Look at weather reports and keep reading Isabel as Israel. Hilarity ensues.
9:01: Blog about my day. Take another Chivas/Anbesol cocktail. Forego the Zertec.
9:02: Curse. A lot. Plead with Satan for him to take the pain in exchange for my soul. Satan laughs and tells me that I have no soul.
9:04: Realize how futile it would be to try to post anything serious tonight. Listen to the wind roaring outside. Beg for mercy. Apologize for this post.

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Comments

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry your head and teeth hurt. I get that same thing. I have found that the only thing that kills the pain is a scalding hot water bottle against the forehead for about thirty minutes and a handful of Benedryl. (Or Lortabs.) Then sleep.

Wet heat makes your sinuses dilate and drain. In the absence of a hot water bottle, a wet towel microwaved for 25 seconds will provide the right kind of almost-can't-stand-it heat. Someone who really loves you (JUSTIN! Are you listening?) will assist you by replacing the hot towels as they cool.

Hope you feel better soon.

D

Mmm. I'm going to try the hot-towel thing next time my sinuses act up.

LOL at the 7:00 tried to convince the kids it was 10:00. That stopped working for us as soon as the oldest could tell time and started ratting us out to his younger siblings.

Hope you feel better, Michele.

mwah!

I would have suggested Tylanol Sinus (day or night variety). I get massive sinus headaches all the time (the kind where one eye starts to water and you want to poke it with a sharp object so the pain will stop), and a couple of those will usually take away the pressure - and no one paid me to say that, either. Just another sinus sufferer.

I hate that feeling where time and space warp and your sick as hell. Try having that sick in the head feeling with Jerry Lewis on in the background. You'll puke, trust me!

'Chele-

It has absolutely nothing to do with team loyalties, I swear, but that bobble-head doll is giving me the creeps.

D

ohhh... my doctor said decongestants + antidepressants == bad. she switched me from zyrtec-D to plain zyrtec when i went back on my meds last time. hugs michele.

Sorry you felt like crud!

Why I got a massive case of the giggles out of this I dunno...

6:30: Get back on couch. Husband is watching Bob Ross paint mountains and clouds. As I drift into unconciousness, I have a waking dream that Bob Ross is talking about sex.
6:31: Become fully awake and appear horrified at the thought of Bob Ross engaging in sexual activities with paintbrushes.

just cruising the net and found this page. The advise that David strain posted was exactly perfect. I thoght I was the only one who knew this. Towels So dang hot that they almost scald the skin off your face but the oh so soothing relief of the sinus cavity opening up. Feel the popping inside your head.

and a little P.S. If you smoke a little toke it does the same thing. Gives you a complete understanding of why people with glaucoma need to smoke it. It releases the pressure in your eyes and sinuses. Instant releif but craving munchies for an hour or so....
Good luck with thos headaches.