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Axis of Isabel

As a member in good standing of the Axis of Isabel, it is my duty to offer you hurricane hints and tips.

Meryl, the fearless leader of the Axis, has already provided a worthy guide with topics such as How To Tell If You Are In A Hurricane (When did we install a sun roof in the kitchen?) and helpful instructions like:

Put a bag of microwave popcorn in the microwave. Turn on the microwave. Wait several minutes. If the popcorn does not pop, you have no electricity.

Other members of the Axis are being just as helpful. Sort of. Bill Cimino just plagiarizes Dave Barry, but it's worth reading anyhow. Besides, he gets extra credit for calling Isabel a big, fat, nasty bitch.

So what do I have to offer you today besides the things I've already covered? Something that the mainstream media, for all their blustering and fear-mongering about Isabel, has forgotten about; that segment of the population that will suffer greatly in the event of a power loss: Bloggers. We are the Silent Minority. Well, if the power goes out, we are.

See, the hurricane and its wrath will not just affect those of us in its path; should the power lines go pffft up and down the east coast, that's an awful lot of blogs that will remain silent while the various power authorities try to get the electricity back on. Yes, you will suffer from this, too even if you don't live anywhere near the Atlantic! Suffering by proxy!

Tips For Bloggers Who Are In The Midst Of A Hurricane


  • Charge the Batteries for your digital camera.
    There's no point in blogging your Adventures With Isabel [when the power comes back on] if you aren't going to show us pictures of you standing on your neighbor's fallen tree.


  • Make your adventure more dangerous than it needs to be - this makes for better bloggng later on.
    Purposely park your car under the great big oak tree down the block, or "accidently" switch your husband's allergy medication with Demerol. Then you can tell everyone your husband passed out from fear and cowardice while you went on to save the family, the pets, the photo albums and autographed picture of John Stamos on your own. Trust me, this story will get a lot of links and trackbacks later on. So will your impending divorce.


  • Halloween decorations are on sale at Target and Wal-Mart. This will come in handy in case Isabel weakens by the time she gets to you and you feel let down and left out that you have nothing of interest to blog about, save for the neighbor's garbage can that nearly ruined your squash plant. Buy some of those fake severed legs or, better yet, a severed head. Put it in your garden. Take picture. Blog it. Get called tasteless, crass and unfeeling towards the other victims of the hurricane. Watch your stats go up.


  • Take notes for future blogging reference. Be very descriptive. Write things like "and then 18 year old girl down the block came running down the street screaming about her cat, but she was wearing a short, flared skirt, and Isabel kept kicking up that wind and there was my own private Marilyn Monroe with Isabel playing the part of the air vent. Upskirts, ahoy! Cat? What cat?"


Well, that's all the tips I have for now. I have to go tie down my lawn gnomes and pink flamingos.

I would tell you to check to see what Wind Rider, another member of the Axis has to say on all this, but he's too busy worrying about his contest. He'll be sorry later when he goes to make mircowave popcorn and can't figure out why it's not popping.

If you have any tips, feel free to add them. I'll be back later with How To Handle Isabel Like A Video Game.

TrackBack

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Axis of Isabel:

» A new Axis, and decisions from Silent Running
Meryl takes the Axis meme in a new direction, with the creation of 'The Axis of Isabel'. Michele steps out and throws her support behind Meryl as the leader of this newest, and hopefully short lived and undereventful group. I... [Read More]

» LOL! from Branille's Weblog
Tips For Bloggers Who Are In The Midst Of A Hurricane Charge the Batteries for your digital camera. There's no point in blogging your Adventures With Isabel [when the power comes back on] if you aren't going to show us... [Read More]

» Don't Go To Work Tomorrow from Wizbang
I advise all members of the Axis of Isabel to stay home tomorrow and blog like it's 1999 the end of the world. Metro Expects Systemwide Shutdown During Storm Doesn't exactly make you want to head out on that commute... [Read More]

» Axis of Isabel Dispatch: OFJ1 from One Fine Jay
Well, here's my first post in the spirit of the Axis of Isabel. The 5p EDT projections for the storm (see picture here, saved for posterity since it changes with every report) look pretty good. The eye of the storm won't be passing by any... [Read More]

» Eli's Izzy's Coming from Avocare
I’ve been to Minneapolis and back since my last post, and come home to a Delaware Valley that’s battening down the hatches (and trying to tolerate a hysterical media). Michele has done a nice job of BlogIsabel coverage … and Meryl You... [Read More]

» Global Couch Potatoes from An Unsealed Room
Funny, how I'm sitting here in Israel tracking Hurricane Isabel on Fox News, and Israelis are sitting in the U.S. watching Israeli television. As for the hurricane, it is always weird to be in Israel worrying about folks in America.... [Read More]

» Stinkin Blogging Contest: The Swimsuit Competition from Silent Running
Granted, a hurricane, no power, and extremely limited internet access are pretty darned lame excuses for the delay of probably the least anticipated event of the year, or even last week - the judging and voting for the Silent Running... [Read More]

Comments

Well, if this turns out to be a non-event, after filling all those sandbags yesterday (delayed oww - sore...oww) I'll be disappointed if the bitch doesn't show up.

Even though thats sooo wrong.

This is going to call for some hard choices if the power goes out...use the UPS for the microwave popcorn, or to try and see if the cable is still on to blog something.

decisions, decisions...

Remember the laptop battery! Charge it up before the power goes!

Ya Know-

I have yet to beat the number of hits in a day that I got during the blackout. Regional power outages seem to be good for the bloggers in other regions. That said, be safe. Heh heh.

D

I can't wait to see the local news guys make their obligatory appearance at the sea wall in Sea Bright.

Judging from the speed of the thing, and the maximum wind speed estimated on impact (110 mph), it sounds like this could be about the same as Hurricane Alicia (1983).

http://www.usatoday.com/weather/huricane/history/walicia.htm

Seeing as how Meryl made me a member of the Axis of Isabel, I really should, at this point, be in a state of near-panic, and stocking up on lumber or flashlight batteries or some such nonsense.

But what's really worrying me is how all of this wind and rain will affect the rest of my vacation...

Michele: Check your email.

Lo, I moved to Raleigh, and a hurricane with my name all over it approaches. (Isabel is Spanish for Elizabeth, or so I've heard.)

I'm in good spirits though--the local weather people realigned the storm's path easterly again. Good for me. Not so good for the Outer Banks, but then they'll get hit like hell anyway.

I'm going shopping for water tonight!

Hondo, wow, I forgot they do that up there... hehehehe. I've been in Richmond too long.

Wind Rider, you should have someone take pictures of you standing bravely in front of the crashing waves, then email them to us.

Heh.

I moved from Raleigh about a month ago (to be cloaser to the coast). Silly me, now I'm like 45 minutes from where they predict the eye will land.

So, everything is bolted down, tied up. I'm stocked...

I'll be glad to email you photos once this thing picks up later this evening......

StumpMan
(with the wind blown hair)

The plan here in Norfolk is that if we lose power, my co-blogger in St. Louis moves us to our spare server (not our best move ever, putting the server in my house)...and if I still have phone lines, I'll run my laptop & UPS battery for a while every day to get Internet access. So there's a slim chance we'll be down for just a few hours and have frequent updates.

Chances are I won't have a phone line and I'll have to move the UPS over to the TiVO, but I will be sure to have photos of water and horizontal trees as soon as Verizon gets the lines back -- I'd guess that will be sometime next year.

Yeah, I got my popcorn. It's the Smart Food, white cheddar flavored.

I try to avoid all the 'coming attraction' stories because they just make me nervous. I still have to get a few groceries.

Last time, I was able to surf on battery even though the electricity was out. I just need the phone line to work. I guess I'm all set.

And I guess I'll start tracking pretty soon. But I hate all this build-up they give something like this.

Heh... All this worrying reminds me of Hurricane Lili from last year. I lived in a trailer then, and went to my uncle's well-built house to wait out the storm, because it was supposed to be a Category 4 hurricane, with winds around 125mph or more.

When we went to bed that night, it was still a Category 4. However, by the next morning, it had "magically" weakened to a Category 2.

Of course, my uncle and I had to be crazy and stand on the porch (as the worst part went over, no less) yelling "BRING IT, LILI! BRING IT ON!!!"

Lili brought it alright. After the storm passed, we were without power for (iirc) 5 days, and without running water for 3 days. (We were pretty much in the direct path of it.) And almost all the weaker structures were destroyed, including another uncle's house, when a tornado put a tree through the master bedroom. =x

So I understand all the worrying and stuff. And like Button said...the "build up".... They were telling us "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE".... And it turned out to not really be all that bad, considering what it could have been.

Even minor storms terrify me, but during Lili I came up with a way to stay calm, that actually helped. I guess my biggest fear was being thrown by a tornado, and losing track of my very few important items, (like my photo album)... So, I got a waterproof backpack, put my stuff in there, strapped it on good, and kept it on until the storm was over. It was my way of giving Lili the middle finger. =D

To everyone in the storm's path, stay safe...mmkay? =)