have no fear, pat robertson is here!
Don't you be worrying about old Isabel anymore.
The Reverend Pat Robertson, whose Christian Broadcasting Network could be hit by Hurricane Isabel, has asked God to turn the storm away from Virginia Beach and the U-S East Coast.
On today's broadcast of "The 700 Club," Robertson gave God credit for turning past hurricanes away in response to prayer.
Praying "in the name of Jesus," Robertson said he believes that God will put up "a wall of protection."
He added that he and those praying with him "command this storm to go out into the sea and to pass land harmlessly."
At least this time he's wishing them out to sea. The other times he tried this tactic he just sent the hurricanes to other states.
Robertson claims to have used the power of prayer to steer hurricanes away from his Virginia Beach, Virginia headquarters. He took credit for steering the course in 1985 of Hurricane Gloria, which caused millions of dollars of destruction in many states along the east coast. He made a similar claim about another destructive storm, Hurricane Felix, in 1995.
Don't hold too much stock in Robertson's power of prayer. He's still waiting for those liberal judges to die.
Comments
If Robertson is praying for hurricanes to move away, I'm getting some batteries and bottled water.
Posted by: Vinny | September 16, 2003 08:30 PM
Hell, he also prediced Orlando was going to be destroyed. I live there and I haven't noticed anything unusu...
Wait, what's that noise?
(boom)
Posted by: Evil Otto | September 16, 2003 08:51 PM
I still have warm feelings towards Robertson for his kind prayers towards Florida during the fires of 1998. Of course, by "warm" I don't necessarily mean the nice sort of warmth.
Posted by: Andrea Harris | September 16, 2003 09:04 PM
Didn't he say he was going to die if a goal wasn't met? Then God changed his mind and decided not to call Pat home.
Posted by: Sandy P. | September 16, 2003 09:34 PM
Given that Tidewater Virginia hasn't had a direct hurricane strike in over 60 years, in spite of a few close calls, and quite a few predicted hits, I will not be surprised at all if it is spared once again. I will be much more (pleasantly) surprised if Izzy does indeed go out to sea. Of course that will more likely just send it up the coast here to us in New England. Of course, that could be Pat's ulterior motive here......
Posted by: LibraryGryffon | September 16, 2003 09:47 PM
He's sending Isabel up the coast to finish the job of 9/11 which, as we all know, is the fault of "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU and the People for the American Way."
Posted by: Shelby | September 16, 2003 10:19 PM
His prayers for Isabel impress me just as much as the Pope's prayers for rain during the wildfires in Europe did. (insert sarcasm here)
Posted by: Heather | September 16, 2003 11:29 PM
Michele, have no fear. You're now in The Axis of Isabel.
Posted by: Meryl Yourish | September 16, 2003 11:36 PM
Sandy P,
That was an Oklahoma televangelist wacko (earlier than Pat Robertson) named Oral Roberts, who famously said that God would call him home if his flock didn't send in $8mill. I'm certain that I'm not the only one who was willing to help double that if it would guarantee that God would.....
Posted by: SDN | September 16, 2003 11:58 PM
PRAISE JESUS! I shall join Pat soon as Jimmy Swaggart and I finish up this, uh, soul-saving at the motel!
Posted by: Brother Squirrel Roberts | September 17, 2003 12:47 AM
KILL THE CHRISTIANS AND GOD DOESN'T EXIST. SEE THE RATIO?
Posted by: Jennyb | September 17, 2003 03:51 AM
I was told by a source from Oklahoma that Roberts had testicular cancer, so he had to become a eunuch so that he could keep spreading the word of God here on Earth.
Posted by: Dark Avenger | September 17, 2003 04:27 AM
I personally believe in prayer. I believe that God answers the prayers in his will, and if they does not answer them the way we want him to, there is a reason.
Posted by: Cayenne | September 17, 2003 09:08 AM
Oh, woe that I do not possess the knowledge of Photoshop to make a picture of Pat Robertson dressed as a voodoo houngan with a necklace of skulls and a a stick covered with rattlesnake rattles.
Sigh.
D
Posted by: David Strain | September 17, 2003 09:21 AM
Cayenne -
So then it doesn't really matter if we pray, right? If there's a reason there's a reason. No need to pray. Just lie back and enjoy it, if you'll pardon the expression.
I guess God had a good reason for wiping out 90+ South Koreans in a storm last week. Good. That makes me feel better. There was a reason. Superb.
Posted by: Stretch | September 17, 2003 09:23 AM
The night that Desert Storm started, Pat also said that he had talked to god and that there was going to be an economic boom of unprecedented proportions in 1991-2 and that George H. W. Bush would be reelected in a landslide.
Posted by: Monk | September 17, 2003 09:53 AM
I prayed one time when a hurricane was bearing down on the city in which I was staying. Very odd prayer. I mean, what do you do? I prayed something along the line of, "Please send this hurricane where it will do the least damage."
That night, the hurricane downgraded, veered 100 miles east and hit landfall in a less populated area. Ha. "Mock on, mock on, Voltaire, tis all in vain ..."
Posted by: Troll King | September 17, 2003 10:06 AM
Too bad the 2,000,000+ gulag slave laborers in North Korea don't pray. I mean, here we have God pushing hurricans out of your way just cause you asked him nice, and yet he's not doing anything about the 2 million slave laborers of whom about 10% die each year of starvation, overwork, outright dispair, suicide, or summary execution.
But then I guess enslaving 2 million innocent people is part of his plan. He's happy to intervene to move hurricanes out of Troll King's way, but not that.
Hey Troll - did it occur to you that those people in "less populated areas" probably prayed too? What, did you have a better prayer? Is that how it works?
Posted by: Stretch | September 17, 2003 10:33 AM
Prayer fight!
Posted by: Andrea Harris | September 17, 2003 07:56 PM
Hey! I think I had a post removed. Wow. Was I that out of line?
Basically, I said something along the lines to Stretch of, I was kidding about moving the hurricane with my prayers and to lighten up.
Posted by: Troll King | September 18, 2003 09:49 AM
And when asked yesterday if he was going going to close school, the answer was no. When told that the other schools in the area were closing, Pat replied "What the pagans do is of no concern to me!"
With a little help, he can become the punchline in a bunch more jokes than he already is.
Pray that God has a storm plan that doesn't include bypassing Virginia.
Posted by: Panzrwagn | September 18, 2003 01:37 PM
I remember Pat warning Orlando it was in the path of hurricanes and God would get them. That year the first hurricane to make landfall was Bonnie. It knocked him off the air. When he got back on the air he was asking for money to repair the damage. And now Virginia (Particularly Virginia Beach) has been declared a disaster area. Repent Pat!
Posted by: Brian | September 19, 2003 11:26 AM
Unfortunately Mr. Robertson has no concept of prayer and how God works in the world today. I've written an article to my website that addresses this question. The URL is www.noeo.net. Please feel free to visit anytime.
Posted by: David | September 19, 2003 08:11 PM
For Stretch, regarding his response to Cayenne:
I believe Cayenne's stance is correct; however if one doesn't believe in the Bible/prayer then the whole discussion si null and void. But if you do have some sort of belief, then there are instances in the Bible in which prayer (or the persistence of prayer to be more exact) has been answered. In support of Cayenne and her position of praying in compliance with "God's will," one cannot pray or believe that God said through prayer, something which is against Christian principles. For example, death or destruction. One can't murder someone and claim that God told him/her to do it.
One must be very careful about what "god told them." In Biblical days, he would have already been stoned to death (because of lack of prophetic fulfillment). SO, in light of that, I firmly believe that Pat Robertson gives Christianity, worldwide, a bad rap.
Posted by: Kelly | September 19, 2003 10:46 PM
If i could say something to Pat Robertson i would say...You and your ideas make me sad to be human. I cannot believe that people are so incapable of being accepting even tolerant of other religions and ideas. personally i think people like you give your religion a bad name. i am a hindu and i have read comments you have made about my religion. i refuse to even dignify your obviously intelligence-lacking claims with a rebuttal. one day i hope all this religion bashing catches up to you, you must realize there are other humans in this world, with ideas different from yours, and before you denounce anything else, do your research, make sure you know what you are talking about.
Posted by: Me | March 1, 2004 04:35 PM