wheel! of! terrorism!
Sick of all those terrorist attack warnings? Not sure what color today's alert is? Wondering if you should stay away from water or bridges or wheat fields?
Worry no more. Now you can use the handy-dandy Wheel of Terrorism. It's just as accurate as those flashing bulletins on CNN and the constant news releases from the Department of Homeland Security.
Amaze your friends! Stun you neighbors! Just cut out the wheel, attach an arrow with one of those clip thingies, and spin away. You can be the star of your block by alerting everyone around you that today's warning is blue, with a chance of small pox.
[Alternate warnings available. Margin of error 90%. Not responsible for mass hysteria. Duct tape sold separately]
Comments
What!? Zombie Army didn't make the first cut? And I just cleaned and lubed the AR-15, too...
Posted by: Chris Ubik | September 5, 2003 12:15 AM
CNN is such crap. I'm surprised they didn't invite the Rev. Al Sharpton to come on and spend the day analyzing that kiss between Britney Spears and Madonna. Wait, that would have been FOXNEWS. It's all crap.
Posted by: Joe | September 5, 2003 03:01 AM
"Wheel of terrorism, turn, turn, turn!
Tell us the attack that we should spurn!"
"Mutant grasshoppers? Not again!"
Posted by: Sigivald | September 5, 2003 03:03 PM
Never trust a scuba diver.
Posted by: jkrank | September 5, 2003 03:23 PM
What say we just settle for "Wheel of Let's Kill a Whole Lot More Islamofascists" and call it even?
Posted by: Ken Summers | September 5, 2003 06:42 PM
I was thinking of posting a color coded "Threats to the Bush Presidency" warning system on my site. Today's threat level- Orange.
Posted by: patrick | September 7, 2003 01:31 PM