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Morning blogging will be late morning blogging today.

Meanwhile, please keep in mind that today is National Penis Day in New Zealand.

In order to show solidarity with our friends in New Zealand, it is imperative that we all take time today to honor the penis.

It would also be a good day to call someone a penis-breath or penis-head.

Now find the nearest penis, grab onto it and thank it for being such an integral part of society. Go ahead, you know you want to.


So are we allowed to grab our own or do we have to find someone to do it for us?

Now that's comedy. Sounds like New Zealand is having trouble finding days to celebrate so they got to make them up.


...only if you pull WAY too hard, (!!!YIKES!!!)

or if you've gotten ahold of one of those zombie fella's recruited from Haiti to invade Florida!


I'm waiting, people...[tap tap tap]...people?...[tap tap tap]...c'mon, dammit!....

While at work? But I just got this job!

Do you think my wife will believe me if I told her I just became a New Zealander?

You guys are so impatient ... you expect us to come to you? What, you're just sitting there hanging out? Waiting for us? Come to us, baby!

Time, I'm afraid, for the possibly apocryphal story of Mrs De Gaulle considerably startling a British journalist who had asked her what she most desired in this world. "A penis," she firmly replied. (Try saying "happiness" in a heavy french accent.)

I could say something rude like "only if Michele can grab it" or "I'll be happy to be the nearest one", but I'll refrain from such.

When is National Vagina Day? That would give me another reason to chase my wife around the bed. Wait until she finds out that it is National Penis Day.

It's about time my penis got some of the recognition it so rightly deserves. And, the timing couldn't be better, because my penis is in showroom floor condition due to all my incessant penis polishing.

Erm, yeah, polishing. That's what I was doing. Honest.

Did I mention I'm a hit whore?

can it wait til after 5? i need this job.


...only if you pull WAY too hard, (!!!YIKES!!!)

sigh Kids today.

"He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen."

Hmm....it's my birthday. Either way, I can probably get my penis grabbed today huh.....the day keeps getting better aned better. :-)

Snap-on Tools, right?


O-M-G your funny.... LOL this cracked me up :D and then to have to read the comments....

Reminds me of the Iggy Pop line... "The penis is mightier than the sword."

Appropos chorus from Oscar Brand et al...

"We sailed the good ship Venus
My Lord, you should have seen us.
The figurehead was a whore in bed,
And the mast, a throbbing penis"

Not many alt. music fans in here, huh? ;-)

what a remarkable nation New Zealand is. I'll bet France doesn't have a National Penis Day.