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Electric Boogaloo

I'm tired of being in a pissy mood today. Let's change gears.

Todd sent me a link to Retro Crush's 20 Worst Movie Titles Ever. While their list is honorable, I don't see how they can make a list such as this without including The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.

There's some ridiculous titles that made the cut (Manos: Hands of Fate and Blackmale), but I feel they missed out on some genuinely bad titles. What about Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead? Hudsucker Proxy? I Dismembered Mama?

Ok. You know the drill. This is the part where you do my blogging for me and present your own nominations for worst movie title.


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» Worst Movie Titles Ever from Shelby's Life and Whatnot
And you thought "Gigli" was bad? Check out the Top 20 Worst Movie Titles Ever. Then head on over to Michele's A Small Victory and add your vote for some more.... [Read More]


I nominate Bowling for Columbine.

Does the erotic film genre count?

My vote is for SSSSSSS.

Ffolkes? Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood? Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever? The Crazy World of Julius Vrooder?

What a lame list! Both K-Pax and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever are based on books, so they should have been disqualified. And The Phantom Menace was a much worse title than Attack of the Clones.

And including Ray Dennis Steckler movies is just sort of cheating.

How about:

Freddy Got Fingered

Seems they confused "Bad Titles" with "Bad Movies". Hope Floats ? What is so horrid about that ? Other than the movie blew donkeys, I mean. What a bunch of boneheads.

Julian Donkey-Boy

There are so many Frankensteion films with bad titles such as Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie, Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster and The Teenage Frankenstein Meets the Teenage Werewolf.

Ah, so you dislike Hudsucker Proxy. Pity. Coen brothers are geniuses.
And you passed over Weekend at Bernies, Men at Work, and Cutthroat Island.

Rabbid Grannies

I can't BELIEVE Manos: Hands of Fate was mentioned. That is soooo MST3k. It's true, though, it is a horrible title.

Me thick head. Brain deep down. Title.

Nominees would have to be:

It's a mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad world

The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz


The Banger Sisters

He put in Blackmale but left out Blacula?

Here are a couple more really bad titles (can't pass judgement on the movies, didn't see 'em):

Death Race 2000

Mother, Jugs and Speed

Then, of course, is the category of titles that are deliberately bad, for obvious reasons:

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

and the all-time classic

Bambi Meets Godzilla

The Snapper (and it's not porn)

admittance time: i thought 'i dismember momma' was an appropo title.

The Snapper is a great title - since a "snapper," in Irish slang, is a baby. Also, that should be disqualified as well, since it's from a Roddy Doyle novel.

Personally, I vote for "Eegah!"

"Phone Booth."

What's the sequel, "Mail Counter?" "Toilet Stall?"

I nominate the title of every Steven Seagal movie ever made.

Hard to Kill
Marked for Death
Out for Justice

More like "Piece of Crap"

Devil Dog - Hound of Hell

I think Jesse James meets Frankenstein's Daughter is tough to beat.

Attack of the Clones. Ugh.

You're missing "Wild Wild World of Batwoman", which was renamed to "She Was a Hippy Vampire" after, ahem, legal complications. Two bad titles for the price of one!

Let us also not forget "Prince of Space", which is one of the dopiest titles on record.

And finally, "Romancing the Stone". Talk about a DUMB title. Dumb. Cannot emphasize how dumb the title is. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb!

So I go on here to say that I can't believe no one's mentioned 'The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies.' and then I actually look at the RetroCrush article and it's number frickin' one.

Zam. That's what I get.

Isn't K-Pax an NBC affiliate in Colorado?

What was that movie with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock? I think it was called "The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down"...

Chopping Mall, hands down.

Jeepers Creepers

Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla, from 1952.

How about Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things?

"Frankenstein's Kung-Fu Monster". If you go through kung-fu movies or MST3K movies you'll only find a couple of hundred. Does "My Mother the Car" count?
"Not with My Wife, You Don't"
"Octopussy" (I mean come on)
"Night of the Lepus"

It's a surprisingly watchable movie.

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors

"Five strangers board a train and are joined by a mysterious fortune teller who offers to read their Tarot cards. Five separate stories unfold: An architect returns to his ancestoral home to find a werewolf out for revenge; a doctor discovers his new wife is a vampire; a huge plant takes over a house; a musician gets involved with voodoo; an art critic is pursued by a disembodied hand."
And of course then they find out he was really Death, the train has crashed, and the 5 walk off into the fog.


"Throw Momma From the Train"

Big Momma's House

Hondo, that's hilarious! I haven't seen or thought of that piece of crap in years!

Other possibilities:

The Hills Have Eyes
The Screaming Skull

MAXIM once had a quick piece about great rpon film titles. I was reading it on a plane, and encountered this gem:

"Saving Ryan's Privates"

Gawl I was practically crying!

"Don't Torture A Duckling"

Eating Raoul was the first one that came to mind for me.

And according to IMDB, (where I went to verify the spelling of Raoul - yes I'm anal) there are two movies "coming soon" that are nomination-worthy:

The Human Stain and
Bubba Ho-tep

And slimybill's comment above made me think of one time when on a long car trip, we amused ourselves by coming up with porn movie names based on actual movies, not really knowing if any had been used already. My favorite: "Titty Titty Gang Bang"

(however it's supposed to be spelt!)

SlimyBill, pr0n movie titles are specifically disqualified. Otherwise, someone might bring up Edward Penishands.

Not me, of course.

Does anyone remember "Earth Girls are Easy"?

What about "Frogs", starring Ray Milland and a young Sam Elliot?

I know porn doesn't count but I always loved "Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy"

"From Dusk Till Dawn"

The best George Clooney movie ever made.


Bubba Ho-Tep is a great title (and it's probably disqualified since that's the name of the wonderful Lansdale story, because it has (a) Elvis and (b) a mummy. Really.

An actual double bill (according to an ad I saw years ago in the L.A. Times:

"Surf Nazis Must Die"

"Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama"

Also from the mid-80s L.A. Times,

"Hollywood Chain-Saw Hookers"
(with the sub-head: "They charge an arm and a leg")