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Best of the Web is back from vacation. Just so you know.

I am going to fight the masses in the mall so I can do what I've been putting off until the last possible minute - finishing school shopping. Yes, school starts tomorrow. That's what last minute is all about.

School shopping has gotten easier, at least. Just a few years ago I would have to drag the kids to seven different stores until I found enough clothes for each of them that met with minimal satisfaction to their tastes, sizes, etc.

Now, all I have to do is take them to Hot Topic. Everything in one place. Too bad that place is in the mall I hate the most.

See, I have something called mallergy.

As I said many times before, I have a pretty low tolerance for people in general. When those people are gathered in massive amounts and all of them are pushing, shoving and clamoring for that last must-have backpack design of the moment, and the mothers are more surly than the kids, and the smaller kids are running loose and getting between your feet and wiping their runny noses on your pants, well let's just say that I always bring extra money when I go to the mall, just in case I'll be needing bail.

Back later.



It's not last minute, it's just in time!

Blech. I hate the mall.

Enjoy that bottle of scotch.


Mallergy. Yeah. Got that too. But where I live, the offending mallergens are easily avoided; so far, we have irradicated them completely from Floyd County. Wish us luck!