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it's a monday thing

What would a Monday be without irritation, anger and general hatred for all of humanity?

I was exchanging emails with Faith this morning and I mentioned that I was looking for volunteers for an experiment. It's called the great I Want To Stab Someone In The Face Today experiment.

Seeing as that Faith blogged that I was looking for participants, I felt the urgent need to write something about it.

Is there someone you would like to volunteer for this great undertaking of mine? And should I use a spork or a rusty nail?

I promise that when I do get around to venting my anger on an unsuspecting victim, your name will remain anonymous, should I choose to use your victim.

Anyone who volunteers Chirac has to pay the airfare.

[This offer not valid for convicts, ex-convicts, parolees, Red Sox fans or the French. Void where prohibited. Side effects of participating in this experiment may include incarceration, death or gastrointestinal bloating]


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» Evil, I tell you, pure evil from Cuppa Tea
Before I rant about the evil - go over to Jamie's and wish her well or post a scenario to cheer her up (mine were lame, but it's morning, no caffeine yet and my brain is all Sims-infested). Because job hunting is a bitch. Meanwhile I'm trying to think ... [Read More]


What's with the nasty temper floating through the blogosphere? First Venomous Kate gets Child Protective Services sicked (sp) on her. Now you want to stab people.

I nominate Seth Hackbarth.

You nominate Seth for stabbing or to go stab someone else? I'm betting it's the former...

I won't be the only one to suggest that whoever called CPS on VK should be the first to get stabbed in the face. And Kate should be given the option to do the stabbing.

Decisions, decisions.... Ruling out dead people, people I'd have to pay air fare for, and people whom I can't put a name to still leaves me with a good half-dozen I can think of off the top of my head.

But I think I'll go with Sarah Brady. With a spork. In the drawing room.

Faith, do you know Kevin @ Wizbang? He messes up my name like that all the time.

i nominate Ryan Sechrest. bonus points for doing it on the air.

and you know what would happen. AT&T would be flooded with incoming text messages saying stuff like "Finally!" and "Thank You!"

Y'know, I was all set to put in a nomination until I read the fine print. DQ'd because I like the Sox.

It's not like I was going to have you target a NYY player... though the idea is intrigueing.

Who: Not me.

With: Rusty nail. Sporks are plastic and they tend to break after the first four or five stabs.

Or so I've heard...

How about Steinbrenner and Segil?

Shoot! I meant Selig, I swear!


I hope you have a lot of nails and sporks, cos I have a list longer than my arm...


my personal favorite expression is "shoot me in the fucking face". sure, getting stabbed in the face has a good visual conotation, but nothing beats getting shot in the face. just imagine the aftermath....

here's hoping that neither happens to you, it's just excessive hyperbole...