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I'm very disturbed by something I read today.

Making assumptions and passing them off as truth is a poor reflection on someone's character. Believing those assumptions without proof or facts makes you no better.

I don't understand how people can be so cruel and unfeeling as to create havoc and distress in another person's life based on nothing but innuendos and rumors.

I've been the victim of rumors myself. I've been at the receiving ends of lies and malicious gossip. Thankfully, no one acted on those lies and I was left only with simmering anger and a lingering feeling of unease that just a few words typed on a keyboard could smear a person's character forever. Even if those words are lies.

Words are powerful things, whether they are true or not. All it takes is one gullible, naive person to believe those lies and spread them around like tar and then the instigator can sit back and watch while the feathers fly, grinning mischeviously.

To have a family nearly destroyed because someone has chosen to take a personal battle into a public arena and use a vague notion of reality to fan the flames is unseemly and nauseating.

The old adage "think before you speak" has taken on new life in this electronic age. Think before you write now applies as well.

It is so easy to cast aspersions on someone else. What scares me is how easily some people soak up those dispersions and pass them on without ever questioning or asking for proof. Everyone involved in this chain of events that led to Child Proctetion Services needlessly knocking on someone's door should be ashamed. If you think you were acting in the best interest of this person's children, then you really need to turn off your computer and and find another hobby. It would be too easy for you to do this again, turning your inner anger against someone else, using another person and their life as an outlet for whatever is ailing your soul.

Please do not ask for a link to the respective participants. You will not get it from me. I did not want to get involved, but the ugliness of this situation has all but ruined my Sunday. I consider that small potatoes, considering that a family was almost destroyed yesterday.

The fact that CPS found absolutely no basis for the complaint speaks volumes and answers any questions about proof, facts and sick revenge.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference soapbox:

» Nastiness in the Blogosphere from Freedom Lives
I know that some of you were pretty upset with the Moxie/Moxiepop dust up a few months ago but in relation to this mornings latest outrage that was nothing. You can read about it on Kate's Blog. Someone had the... [Read More]


clap. clap. clap. clap clap clapclapclap, wild, uproarious applause.

I can understand you not wanting to gt involved but in a larger sense we are all involved because we are all members of a community where one of our "own" has gone way over the top.
I have about half the story right now but I will not publish links here in respect for your position.
I do think when something this beyond acceptable behavior happens that we should all find out what has happened and exert peer pressure to bring the offensive bloggers back in line.

Man! This is getting scary! That new Moxie chick loses her job because she chose a name that was claimed by someone else, although it seems she did not know that... And now people are send child protective services around to destroy lives... I am not saying these are related, I wouldn't know. But I do know it is cowardly and wrong to attack people behind their backs and for selfish reasons (like 'Look at me, I am soooo powerful! I destroy people at my whim!')

People need to get a grip and stop all these attacks. It is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I can't beleive some one sent Child protective services... In most states those goons will take kids without even thinking twice. And it might take years to get them back. And all it takes is some strangers claims with no evidence. I hate big government! Child protective services seems to take the slant that you are guilty until proven innocent.

Ok, you presented me with a mystery and it's a boring Sunday morning, so I had to do the research to find out what you were talking about. I'll confess to never reading the two blogs in question and not really knowing anything about either person. I also didn't read much more either person had posted outside of the subject at hand. I guess that makes me about as objective as anyone. That said, I was struck by one poignant question. How did an anonymous caller from thousands of miles away get Child Protective Services knocking on a woman's door on a Saturday morning?

Not that it invalidates your post. I know for a hard learned fact that CPS is often used as a weapon to get back at That Bitch™. Luckily, they know it as well and will actually listen to the accused party, as will the Sheriff's Dept., Animal Services, Code Enforcement, and the School Board. Not that my ex-wife ever pissed anyone off or anything.

Being an ordinary nosy person, naturally I'm curious to know who you're talking about--but I think I can live without knowing. It's rotten enough for me to know it happened at all.

Well said. And if you are in a position to pass along sympathy, condolences, and encouragement to the affected party, well, I hope you will.

Wise decision, michele. I read both blogs involved. FWIW, none of us KNOW who did this. People have opinions, but no actual proof. I understand that it takes a court order in my state to find out who filed a CPS complaint (to protect against things like physical retribution for filing it). Making assumptions without having access to actual facts, not hearsay, and then acting on those assumptions by making allegations in public forums, is not just unfair, it is dangerous and foolish. More than one person may find themselves hiring an attorney to defend against a charge of libel. I admire your restraint.

Good poing . To respond to Bruce"I can't beleive some one sent Child protective services... In most states those goons will take kids without even thinking twice. And it might take years to get them back. And all it takes is some strangers claims with no evidence. I hate big government! Child protective services seems to take the slant that you are guilty until proven innocent.

: Um that is crap . CPS is not allowed to "take kids" that is only ordered by a judge not the social worker". Most people are very misinformed about how the protecvtive system works. All alligations are investigated, and as this one was reffered to it was unfounded. Thouseands of people call cps when they are mad at a person, tireless workers have to wade through vendettas, to see if these claims are true. Only upon evidence of abuse, or neglect would anyone be brought up to a judge to take a child in to protective custody.

Social workers for the most part -I can't speak for all, in all states are not out to get peoples kids, really there are plenty of legitimate cases to be taken care of.

Ignorence, and misinformation are a virus. People are crazy and do terrible things to each other everyday, doesn't make it right.

Rah, I know that this is a touchy subject for all involved. Most people think CPS can just take your kids. Luckily, this case was unfounded. But it's the point that someone did this to begin with that is the problem.

Re: earlier comment--never mind.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, piss, hell, damn.

This is exactly the kind of thing that was bound to happen sooner or later, because no one, not one single blogger out there with an ego bigger than God's own, has enough sense to put a stop to it and all that person's readership runs to their rescue.

And the "pack mentality" is rife throughout Blogdom. Why? Because people are just too damn lazy to think for themselves. They let the crowd think for them.

I am sure both bloggers have accumulated enough "enemies" so that any number of people other than the blogger herself could have done this spiteful and dangerous act, in the name of "friendship."

Friendship means never having to choose sides. Real friends don't ask their friends to take sides. And that's part of what this is all about. Except now, some nutcase has ratcheted the stakes up a bit higher.

Any blogger with children would do well to keep his or her posts circumspect. It's sad it has to be that way, but in this age of "reality," well, reality bites.

This whole thing just sucks ass.

First, I have no knowledge of the subjects of this post. A Small Victory is really the only blog I visit on a regular basis.

In general, civilization breaks down when people feel no internal constraint against doing whatever the hell they think they can get away with to those they perceive as their enemies. Laws are not the primary enforcer of the social order - each individual's sense of right and wrong is.

Calling CPS with an erroneous report of child abuse as a way to get back at someone is a despicable act, whether it's perpetrated by an angry ex-spouse or a disaffected rival blogger (or one of that bloggers supporters). Most people would refrain from doing such a thing because they know it's wrong. Our best defense against such behavior is to condemn it as a pathetic, disgraceful, desperate act of self-absorption.

CPS workers are generally not well paid and have an extraordinarily stressful job. People who are innocent of child abuse charges hate them, as do the guilty. The turnover rate at most CPS offices is incredibly high. Most of the workers are trying to do a good job under very difficult circumstances. They're human - errors do occur. Before you despise these folks, though, ask yourself whether you would be willing to do their job.

People who are innocent of child abuse charges hate them

Count me as one of those people. Granted it's not easy for them to take your child, it's not impossible either. Maybe the CPS person that comes to your house is poor, overworked, and well meaning. I had an evil, socialistic, bureaucratic bitch show up at my home and terrorize my wife and make all sorts of threats based on nothing but an anonymous phone call. That was over twenty years ago and it still makes my blood boil. And you know what? I'm not the only one. I've thrown out that story over the years, and I've heard more than a few horror stories in return. I often wonder what their harm to good ratio is.

And for that person who made the anonymous call, I hope there's a special place in Hell for you.

I don't understand why it seems so far-fetched to some that this occurred: plenty of social workers work on Saturdays. And the origin of the phone call might not be an issue (besides which, the caller might not choose to disclose that he/she lives in another state).

I have a friend who dealt with CPS twice, due to multiple absent-minded actions on the part of her husband (long story). When it was just a "make sure" sort of thing, they called ahead of time to let my friend (and hubby) know they were coming. When they took the allegation seriously (the second time), they simply showed up unannounced, by surprise. Given the allegations against the blogger in question, I'm sure enough melodrama could have been injected into the situation to make a "surprise visit" appear warranted.

Good grief, that's why I blog anonymously--- And disguise the people I talk about. It's a bit like radio, or television: you have a million friends and a couple of very, very sick enemies.

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