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dear george bush

Dear Mr. Bush,

Thank you so much for the $400 check I received in the mail yesterday. I know some people are angry with you for putting this plan in motion but I, for one, am very grateful.

I will be a good citizen and put this money back into the economy immediately. I suppose that as this money came about because of my kids, I should spend it on them, purchasing their back-to-schoo clothing and supplies with this bounty.

Maybe while I'm at the mall, I'll pick up the Futurama Season 2 DVD, which came out this week. And maybe, just maybe, I'll pre-order the Simpsons Season 3 DVD which comes out the day after my birthday. It's not so bad to buy myself a small birthday present with this money, is it?

Oh, I just want to take a few bucks for the first issue of Neil Gaiman's 1602. And I wanted to be the first buy Baby Tobyn a Miyazaki film.

But I promise to spend some money on the kids. Oh wait, the phone just rang. Hang on.

Ok, I'm going out to lunch now. If there's any money left after I treat everyone to drinks (hey, it's Wednesday, it's hump day drink day!), I'll be sure to do my part to upstart the economy. If I don't fall asleep at my desk after having too many colorful drinks for lunch.

Thanks, George. Have a nice day. And don't let the blogging candidates get you down.


UPDATE: Contrary to popular belief, I did not get screwed. My ex and I each claim one kid a year, so he gets the other check. All's fair in divorce and war.

Oh, and we skipped the drinks at lunch because I have to hit the gym after work. Note to Jane Darcy: I work for the government. Does that explain everything?


Dude, you've got TWO kids...you got screwed. :)

Further reason why everyone should have gotten a check

I spent mine! I too, was happy to receive four hundred bucks.

I love money!
Too bad I don't have any kids yet.

"Dude, you've got TWO kids...you got screwed"

At least twice, apparently, unless they're twins.

We LOVE Miyazaki...got almost all his films now (missing one or two).

We took $400 and put it in the vacation account for a trip to England next Spring. The rest got spent on school stuff for the kids, and a trip to the waterpark yesterday.

How come you only got $400? With two kids, you should have gotten $800.

ripped off by the gov!...lol you so got screwed Michele...

Ripped off by the gummint? Yep -- and the evidence is on yer pay stub in the boxes marked "F.I.T." and "FICA."

Not that I'm anti-gummint or anything...

<subliminal>Ruby Ridge!</subliminal>

Damn, I wish someone would send me some cash. I'm poor right now.

Thank God for credit cards.

Ummm, ok. You blog all day AND get to drink at lunch. Just what do you do? I think I feel a career change coming on.

You know, some try to dissuade college kids from getting knocked up but with the government PAYING YOU to have them...

How 'bout that for a pick-up line... "Hey Baby, wanna go earn a $400 check?"


Hey Pete, here's a clue : the $400 check is a refund for taxes paid (or a pre-refund on taxes that will be paid the next Happy Tax Day).

If you haven't paid enough in taxes, you don't get the refund. You're not getting paid to have kids.

I spent mine paying for the bills that piled up during vacation. That $800 sure came in handy.

I didn't know you were divorced (or maybe I did and got clobbered over the head, happens a lot in my house). Howabout you and me go spend the rest of you slush fund and...
Here comes the wife!

Always thinking of us...you're so sweet! ;-)

I have got to pay attention to congress more much as it pains me. So there's $400/child pre refund coming this year? Any income limits on it (other than having had to have made enough to have $800) ? I'd definitely use some of it to enhance the economy, they just released season 3 of Babylon 5 :-).

OK looks like I'm scrod due to excessive AGL.
If you want to know your status you can go here:

Can I claim pets as dependants? I could use an $800 check.

You're not getting paid to have kids

If person A pays more taxes than person B, and the sole difference between A and B is that B is getting a tax break for having kids, then I think it's fair to say that the government is paying B to have kids.

"A reduction in a mandatory payment" is basically identical to "a gift of money". The government does, in effect, "pay" people to do things like have kids and take out mortgages to buy homes. Or, if you prefer, they "penalize" single non-homeowners with a heavier tax burden.

Dam, if I could claim pets I would get $2,600, um, make that $2,400. I guess I wouldn't get to claim the Wonderful Spouse.

I have two kids, but only got a check for $400. Turns out the credit is only for kids born after 12/31/86, so I don't get credit for my 17yo daughter (missed the cutoff by 5 months). That sucks! I really could have used the extra $400.

Here's the events of the day I got the check
Me: "Woohoo! 800 bucks!"
Refridgerator "ThrumthrumthrumCOUGH!die!....*"
Me: "dammit...."
Oh well, it's better than having a dead fridge and NOT having $800 towards a new one.