dear george bush
Dear Mr. Bush,
Thank you so much for the $400 check I received in the mail yesterday. I know some people are angry with you for putting this plan in motion but I, for one, am very grateful.
I will be a good citizen and put this money back into the economy immediately. I suppose that as this money came about because of my kids, I should spend it on them, purchasing their back-to-schoo clothing and supplies with this bounty.
Maybe while I'm at the mall, I'll pick up the Futurama Season 2 DVD, which came out this week. And maybe, just maybe, I'll pre-order the Simpsons Season 3 DVD which comes out the day after my birthday. It's not so bad to buy myself a small birthday present with this money, is it?
But I promise to spend some money on the kids. Oh wait, the phone just rang. Hang on.
Ok, I'm going out to lunch now. If there's any money left after I treat everyone to drinks (hey, it's Wednesday, it's hump day drink day!), I'll be sure to do my part to upstart the economy. If I don't fall asleep at my desk after having too many colorful drinks for lunch.
Thanks, George. Have a nice day. And don't let the blogging candidates get you down.
UPDATE: Contrary to popular belief, I did not get screwed. My ex and I each claim one kid a year, so he gets the other check. All's fair in divorce and war.
Oh, and we skipped the drinks at lunch because I have to hit the gym after work. Note to Jane Darcy: I work for the government. Does that explain everything?