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Hottest ticket in town: Aschroft '03! [contest]

As I pointed out earlier (and TBFKAJG* points out today), Ashcroft is headed on a whirlwind tour, touting the Patriot Act. I assume he will also be giving mad props to his new baby, the Victory Act.

Well, what's a tour without a t-shirt commemorating it? While Ashcroft may not have groupies hanging outside the venues he appears in, and there probably won't be anyone selling ecstacy or pot in the parking lot, he's still got to have the Tour Shirt.

Of course, that's where you come in. Your job, and you will accept it, is to come up with either a t-shirt design (in the vein of those great tour shirts from the 80's) or, if you are not Photoshop equipped, a slogan for the tour.

Winner gets nothing but acknowledgment of their skills, and perhaps a few rounds of applause from the comment gallery. Have at it.


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ashcroft is a scary, scary man. it amazes me that republicans can be so far out of touch with the small-government, federalist roots of their party. it must be very liberating for junior and those he has surrounded himself with to abandon all pretence of governmwnt of and for the people and exercise power for its own sake.

by the way, the t-shirt: a giant, bloodshot eye with the slogan: "don't fuck with me, i know where you live"

Jack, if you think Ashcroft is scary, imagine Janet Reno in a bikini.

No, I don't want to imagine Ashcroft in a bikini either. I'm just sayin'...

Shouldn't it be called the "Crushing Dissent Tour"?

Either that, or you could make up one of those bumperstickers with really small print that tends to cause a lot of accidents on busy city thoroughfares:

"To those who pit Americans against immigrants, and citizens against non-citizens; to those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty; my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists—for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve. They give ammunition to America's enemies, and pause to America's friends. They encourage people of good will to remain silent in the face of evil.--- Victory Tour 2003"

Maybe this will help spark some good slogans:

Ashcroft's Acting Up

Dude you need to sell these on Cafepress and donate the proceeds to PFLAG.

There have been how many terrorist attacks here in the U.S. since 9/11??? Zero. Something seems to be working.

Why no Victory Tour - WACO - with Reno's pic t-shirts??? Or, Victory Tour - Elian Back In Cuba t-shirts? How's come??

I still like
"The Ashcroft Iron-Booted Dissent Squishing Brigade"

I'm always asking asshelmets for the local recruiting office phone number, but no one ever comes up with one.

Imperial Falconer