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separate questions for the amish guy

Laurence is special. He does not get the same questions as everyone else.

You do know what I mean by special, right?

These questions are taken from real jury questionnaire forms because, like Laurence, I have been dipping into the tequila tonight and I couldn't come up with any good questions that didn't involve cooking a cat in a bread making machine.

Anyone can answer them, actually. [Laurence's answers are here]

1. Are there bumper stickers on the vehicles that you drive or that your spouse drives?
( ) Yes ( ) No.

If yes, what do they say?

2. Based on your experience, what is your opinion of lawyers?

3. Are you or is any member of your family in favor of limiting the rights of those accused of a crime so as to make it easier to convict? ( ) Yes ( ) No

4. Please describe any special skills you have that the judge should be aware of.

5. Is there anything that might make it difficult for you to see graphic photographs and videotapes depicting the injuries to the body of the deceased and a large quantity of blood?

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The rules are simple: Michele asked me some questions. 1. Are there bumper stickers on the vehicles that you drive or that your spouse drives? ( ) Yes (x) No. 2. Based on your experience, what is your opinion of... [Read More]

Comments

I'm special!
So special!
Brass!
In pocket!
Baby!

1. Are there bumper stickers on the vehicles that you drive or that your spouse drives?
(X) Yes ( ) No.

If yes, what do they say?
"Support the Troops"
2. Based on your experience, what is your opinion of lawyers?
Half and half. I like the ones on my side, the rest should be crushed like ants.
3. Are you or is any member of your family in favor of limiting the rights of those accused of a crime so as to make it easier to convict? ( ) Yes (X) No
But I am most definitely against leniency in sentencing
4. Please describe any special skills you have that the judge should be aware of.
It depends.
Male judge: No Female judge: Come, walk with me, talk with me, I'd like to show you something...
5. Is there anything that might make it difficult for you to see graphic photographs and videotapes depicting the injuries to the body of the deceased and a large quantity of blood?
Let me clean my glasses real quick and I'm set.

2. Based on your experience, what is your opinion of lawyers?

Laywers are very sexy and desirable people. All single men should strive to meet a lawyer.

1. Are there bumper stickers on the vehicles that you drive or that your spouse drives?
(X) Yes ( ) No.

If yes, what do they say?

They don't say anything. You have to read them.

Sorry, have to disagree with you here. As Michelle is funny, and topical Laurence is...
What Laurence loses in general interest he gains in genuine disinterest.

You'll probably delete this in an hour or two.

1) No

2) What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom dewlling, scum sucking scavenger, and the other is a fish.

3) No

4) skills? we doan need no steeken skills.

5) Graphic pictures? Nudge nudge, wink wink, know wot I mean.

"All single men should strive to meet a lawyer."

And guess who didn't provide any links... ;-)

Come and get me Grouchy! ;)

[jealousy jealousy jealousy]

Hey! I'm kinda grouchy too!

Well, more crotchety than grouchy, but still...