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xx, xy

Dean asks:

What do you like about men? I'm not even kidding. I seriously want to hear the answer. Even if you're a lesbian. I want to know what you like about those of us who were born with testicles....Serious answers only are allowed. No bashing, no snarkiness, no bullshit. The question is simple: what do you like about men?

I was all set to answer: There's no difference between what I like about men and what I like about women.

But there must be some difference, or I wouldn't have spent most of my life surrounded by more male friends than female friends.

Maybe it's the whole comic book, action figure, video game, sports thing. At the risk of sounding like a reverse sexist, I don't particularly care for shopping, chick flicks or comparing beauty products.

Perhaps it's not it's not what I like about men that drive me towards friendships with them; it's what I like about the culture of men.

Yea, there's that whole anatomy thing, too.

Not that there's anything wrong with a nice set of boobs.


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» Men from Beth's Contradictory Brain
Michele says Dean is asking what she likes about men. Well, I don't like Dean, but I do like Michele. [Read More]


No, there definitely is not anything wrong with a great set of boobs, but somehow I am pretty sure that having them on my chest would be nowhere near as much fun as seeing a great pair on the chest of some perky faced, blue-eyed fox in a short shirt and low-cut blouse. But, of course, that is merely my opinion.

I like men because they're basically SIMPLE. My friendships with men are uncomplicated -- we hang out, we talk about ideas, and we don't feel any compulsion to analyze the friendship. We can argue ideas and emotions rarely cloud the debate.

Plus, since I'm married, any friendships I have with women have a strong glass ceiling to them, if you'll forgive the loaded metaphor. There are simply emotional boundaries that can't be crossed.

Ultimately though, my most rewarding friendship is with a woman -- my wife. It is anything but simple trying to be one with someone whose thinking is so completely alien. She is complex, sometimes infuriating, and on many levels incomprehensible to me. But it is this mystery and complexity that I treasure.

I most readily form friendships with people who are rational, cerebral, direct, honest, and thick-skinned. This set of traits appears to be more common in men than women, hence my roughly 3-1 ratio of male friends to female.

I suppose I could have answered the same way as you, michele, that it's the 'culture' of men I like. I've also got more male friends than female. But I do have female friends who are into the same sorts of things I like. So I can't say it's a 'men' thing. Hmmm.
Have to agree with the shopping, chick flicks and comparing beauty products (yawn). Heh.

The male culture, too for me. I like science fiction, I like certain action movies, and I tend to avoid every movie with Meg Ryan, or a movie that could theoretically have Meg Ryan in it.

Shopping for clothes is tedious, but if you want to buy a computer, a stereo, or any other technology, I'm your girl. I like fast cars. I play video games.

Men have a certain bluntness that amuses me. I just like a dry, witty humour in anyone, though. And yes, the cerebral/logicalness some have going for them---one of the quickest ways a man can make himself attractive to me is to prove he's mentally agile enough to win an argument. With other people. Not me :)

i always feel like i know where i stand with men. they don't lie unless you really want them to, and they don't stab you in the back. besides, they don't look at you like you've just grown a second head if you talk about guns or cars. women are nicer to look at, tho.

At the risk of sounding....well, maybe bratty...I'd like to say that I don't perceive comic books, action flicks, et al. as belonging to a "male culture". I don't even perceive peeing standing up as belonging to a "male culture" though--so...you know.

I mean, I'm a woman, or a girl, or a plain ol' human bean, and I like those things, and a lot of my girl and guy friends like those things. And quite frankly a lot of people--both female and male--AREN'T into those things. I'd identify it as geek culture before assigning a gender to it. (Or a sex, if you want to be really geeky and say that genders are only for nouns.)

That's not to say that I don't enjoy the so-called chick things too. But again, are they really "chick things"? Who knows.

There are things dominated by men, and things dominated by women, but the people that I tend to like don't let those over-arching stereotypes get in the way of enjoying what they like.

I liked your first answer.

PS. About that peeing thing....some day when I have the time to practise, I will conquer eet!


I like testicles.


I like Faith.

Ken, ya already know I like ya too. ;)

I have been enjoying reading all those comments--over 30 so far, and 10 trackbacks. Astounding for a Friday night.

I find that a couple of people seem a little defensive, as if it's threatening somehow to suggest that men have different character traits from women. But most--the overwhelming majority, in fact--have made it obvious that they do think men are psychologically different from women.

Of course the answers are all generalizations. But so what? Why are we afraid to generalize? If someone says "men love sports," I nod my head in agreement even though I, as a man, don't particularly like sports. Because I recognize the simple fact that most men do.

When someone says, "men tend to be straightforward," I also nod my head, because even though some men are evasive and not straightforward, most men are.

What's really going to fan the flames is when I post my followup, asking men what they like about women. :-)

Anyone seen that commercial with the couple in a resturaunt, when the waiter asks what the woman wants she waffles on and on about all the different choices. When it comes to the guy the waiter is like:
Waiter: "what?"
Guy: "Porterhouse"
Waiter: "How?"
Guy: "Rare"
Waiter: "Potato?"
Guy: "Baked"
Waiter: "Toppings?"
Guy: "everything"
Waiter: "Ok"
Takes like 2 seconds. I can't even remember what the hell that commercial is for but it says a whole lot about the differences in the sexes.

Faith, let's keep it lowkey or we'll get kicked out. [shh...flirt flirt]

I guess my position on this issue is that men are generally easier to be friends with, but women are often more rewarding.

Male friendships tend to be fairly shallow. Whenever a new thriller comes out and the plot involves some poor guy whose best pal turns out to be a spy or a wife-beater or an axe-murderer, nobody thinks "that just couldn't happen". Playing golf together doesn't really make for a terribly deep connection.

Friendships with women are more difficult in just about every way, but their saving grace is they're also far more meaningful in terms of emotional depth and understanding. Of course, there are plenty of guys who have no use for that stuff. They have little interest in female friends, unless the "friend" is someone for whom they lust.

I'm toward the other end of that spectrum - I have more female friends than male because I can't feel fully satisfied by the relatively shallow connections males tend to have. I won't lie - having female friends is often a challenge. I suppose the bottom line is that I'm willing to accept that challenge...

I have 3 words....
A Great ASS

Nise story!

What I like about men is that they always (or so it looks like)have a solution for everything.
And that they are very protective(most of the time).