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got milk?

So, let's get this straight. A guy goes to a titty bar, gets a lap dance from a woman who was apparently lactating. The women squirts some breast milk on him. The guy runs screaming as if he was hit with a bucketful of acid. He files a police report and presses charges against her for assault.

I hope he remembers this next time he thinks it would be really hot to pump a load of his jizz in his girlfriend's eye. I'm betting breast milk doesn't sting nearly as bad.

Suck it up, guy. There are some people who would have paid good money to be in your place.


This is going to sound kinda gross, but I learned this in one of my "how to breastfeed manuals"-cause no one apparently knows how to use their boobage anymore.

You can use breastmilk to heal pink eye, acne, and a slew of other ailments. I gander it would not sting due to that. Though I never walked up to my husband and used him as a guinea pig either!

Some men just don't know how good they have it and have to ruin everything. sigh

geeez, how squeamish was he?!!

Hey! Breast milk tastes good also. So naturally sweet. Of couse, we all understand how people in our society sue over anything. Blame it all on thise damn lawyers. Oh, wait, I am one of those damn lawyers. OK, any of you perverts hanging around in titty bars get a faceful of titty milk? Call me at 1-809-ASS-HOLE! We will sue the g-strings off those bimbos!

Not speaking from experience or anything, but you don't normally expect breasts to be "interactive" while getting a lap dance.


Michele... you realize you're making a pretty hefty assumption about him having a girlfriend, right? :)


What a wuss! I bet this gomer would be insulted if he ever had to go down on a girl too.

Guy needs a fucking kick in the nads... if he has any.

maybe he's lactose intolerant?

Jizz in the eye stings? Who knew?

I know it doesn't sting the eye because my baby has spit breastmilk into my eye. It's rather similar to condensed milk (really sweet), but unhomogenized.

Breasts leak alot (for all the La Leche propoganda about it stopping after about a month), and I've had a squirter that went several feet, but that was in the context of a child who had just pulled her head off the breast and evidently got a milk duct stuck open.

Still, would this guy sue if hit by a wet noodle? I don't know many people suing over getting spit at, so why breastmilk? What a weenie.

They should have charged extra for that lap dance.

Simple answer for why.


Strip clubs are so well known for their sanitary standards. Moron.

I guess myself and the guy in question are the only two assholes in the world who would react with disgust if a stripper squirted breast milk on us during a lap dance.

Not that I would call that assault, but... what do you think the guy should have done? Said "Oh, wow, thanks!" and whipped out a glass and some Hershey's syrup? Maybe I'm the only one who thinks that getting squirted in the face with warm, fresh lactate in the middle of a softcore non-participatory humping session is kinda gross? Not gross enough to warrant a police statement, but gross enough to understand a guy reacting with an "Eeuugh!" at least.

I might be less sympathetic to the dude's case if I knew for a fact that he regularly unloads his man-chowder on his girlfriend's face, but... I don't know that.


A judge should make him wear a whole-body condom while in such a bar.

Interesting... I don't know why, but I would be disgusted if a stripper squirted her breast milk on me too... It's the whole bodily fluid/disease idea.

If I'm in a situation where fluids are expected to be exchanged, that's one thing. My philosophy usually is "wetter the better," in those cases. But, this situation is different.

But, I wouldn't want someone I don't know and had no intention of exchanging fluid with putting theirs on me. That goes for come, blood, spit.... There are diseases that are transmitted this way. Yeah, chances are small, but some pretty scary diseases are out there....

If I ask for it, that's one thing. Uninvited is another. I've never had come in my eye, but I've heard it burns, and if someone did it on purpose, I'd raise holy hell.

well, Not that girls are my thing, but if I was at a strip club and getting a lap dance, if the stripper accidently lactated in my face, I would ask her to stop for a sec while I got a napkin and wiped the milk out of my eye, and would request she put her top on. I wouldn't run out of there like a wussy and sue. That guy must have been a liberal.

I had breast milk squirted on me by a topless dancer and i didnt go crying to the court (i kind of enjoyed it)