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what the hell was i thinking?

I've been digging through my old writing, dated from high school (not even saying how many years ago that was) until just a few months ago. Boxes upon boxes.

I can't believe how many stories I started and never finished. Could be lack of time or lack of substance, but either way I've got more stories unfinished than completed.

This one in particular has me scratching my head. Where was I going with this and was I drunk when I wrote it? It appears to be about three years old and I don't even remember writing it.

Any ideas what my thought process was here? And what was I thinking?

The lady says to her:

“So, let’s get this profile of yours started. What exactly are you looking for in a man?
“A cape and a sword.
“Come again?”
“A cape and a sword. And he should look good in tights.”
The lady nods her head politely, but her eyes are saying “this one’s out of her fucking mind.”
“Right. Cape. Sword. Tights.” She puckers her lips tightly. “Seems like you’re looking for a superhero.” She chuckles as she says this.
“Yes. I am.”
“Aren’t we all, sweetie? Expect mine would be wearing a silk robe and boxers.”
Anna nods absently.
“Anyhow,” puckered-lip lady continues, “Any specific traits you’re looking for?”
“Some kind of superpower. But not stretching. Been there, done that.”
Superpower? You mean like breathe underwater or something of the sorts?”
Anna throws back her head and laughs, loud and hearty.
“Has he been by here? You would think after all this time he would just come clean and hit the gay circuit on the internet.”
Lip lady drums her pen on the desk. She puckers again. Anna thinks it could be a nervous habit..
“I’m not sure I’m following you here,” she says. “Are you some kind of reporter for a satire magazine?”
Anna exhales loudly.
“I am,” she says slowly just in case lip lady is not quite the bright light she makes herself out to be. “Looking for a man.”
“Right. Man with cape, sword, tights, and flying ability.”
“Did I say flying? No, I didn’t.”
“So, you’re open to other umm...superpowers?” Her lips get even tighter and they form a small, red-stained “o” and Anna thinks that lip lady looks like a balloon that’s about to pop.
“I’m open to anything that’s not stretching or flying.”
“You’re serious, aren't you.”
“You know what the odds are, lady?”
“I’m quite aware.”
“Tell you what. Let’s skip over this part for now and get to you.” The lips unpucker and Anna can see red lipstick on the lady’s otherwise gleaming teeth. She says nothing. The lady stifles a yawn and continues.
“Do you have any hobbies?”
“I like scaling walls in my spare time.”
“So....you’re an athlete?”
“You could say that.”
“I will.” Lip lady taps, taps, taps the pen. She puckers and unpuckers and Anna thinks of fish.
“Would you prefer an athletic man?”
“If by leaping tall buildings

And it cuts short there. Either I realized this was incredibly stupid or I got distracted by something better.

So. Set it or forget it?


Hey, if you can find a direction for it to go, I'd finish reading it (and no, I'm not at all sure where you were originally headed with it...)

Well, I thought it was amusing anyway. ;)

Ha! That's funny shit. I'd read the rest if it were written, too. :)

It's a heck of a lot better start than any of my unfinished stories...

That's like having a thought and a brain fart at the same time. You rack your brain wondering what the hell you were going to say. I think you should use your wiser years to finish it.

I bet it ends up with you having sex with a cartoon character.

I get the feeling Anna is looking for someone she knows or has known in the past...probably in the carnal sense.

I think it's an excellent response to "What would happen if Wonder Woman went to a dating service?"

I think it's great - very clever! Now you can't leave us hanging - does she find a date? Does she get set up with whoever her x is?

i think it's cool. think how much the dating pool needs chlorine, and then factor in, you can only date other superheroes. blech!

i thought she was the invisible chick from fantastic four, tho, since she doesn't want a guy with stretch. but i checked, and her name's not anna.

i so don't want arthur to be gay. i love that hook. and he likes redheads. :o)

Piers Anthony mentioned in a foreword or afterword in one of his books that the way he avoids writers' block is to stop writing in the middle of a thought, rather than at the end of a paragraph or a chapter. The idea is that he's able to naturally pick up right where he left off without going through the angst of trying to start a new thought that ties in logically with what preceded it.

It's a pretty handy trick.

Unfortunately, I'd say its only weakness is that he's supposed to pick up writing again within a couple of days.

Three years doesn't work quite as well.

I'm intrigued. And hoping you'll finish it.

i have absolutely no idea where it was going, other than possibly you were in the mood to create yourself a new femail comic book hero (which is a totally legit amibtion), but if you could think of a solid way to end it, i'd say you have a great start. you'd probably make a lot of money off it if it turned out R rated, too.

or, you could have a contest for your readers to finish it. that could be fun.

“Superpower? You mean like breathe underwater or something of the sorts?”

Desperately seeking Aquaman?

Get them finished and enter them in the short story contest on my site. There's $22 in prize money for the winning story.

Boxes and boxes of unfinished stories. Yeah. I know that feeling. My problem is, my characters/plots/whatever keep going off in tangents -- also I am incredibly lazy.

Well, you were carrying me along. I'd say finish it, if you can. Who cares where you were going with it before? Remembering that would not necessarily make it any easier.
Hemingway mentioned the same trick as Piers Anthony did.

that is an attractive lead in. it benefits from the lack of a title and an ending.

i think you stopped because you are just a handful of periods from the end, and it is so much more as an unfinished work for your biographers to speculate about..

I think it's kind of a metaphor for the search for a companion in real life. We all start looking for that one person with all the powers (superhero) who can magically make our lives sunshine and roses. We eventually (I hope) mature enough to realize that superheroes are in the body of Everyman (i.e., Peter Parker = Spiderman), you just need to see them at the right time.

I think you should finish it.

More, please. I like where it was going, even if I can't explain it.

I liked it, I'd most certainly enjoy reading it to the end. Poor aquaman though, always getting picked on.

I finish my stories.

I'm just too lazy to write them down.

Hey Curtis,

“Has he been by here? You would think after all this time he would just come clean and hit the gay circuit on the internet.”

Sounds like Aquaman to me.