swf, likes long romantic walks on death row, rainbows and child homicide
Hey fellas, looking for that special someone? Take a look at this ad:
So if you are a non-judgmental kind of guy (maybe you've murdered a few people yourself) and you just love rainbows and Mickey Mouse (and what self-respecting man doesn't?) and you enjoy church (hopefully you go to a church that forgives heinous acts of human depravity) then this is your girl. Go get her.
She's sitting in her cozy little jail cell right now, all fixed up with a nice hairdo and a new sweatsuit, typing away on her computer with internet access, and spending her time reading, writing, doing puzzles and thinking about waterfalls and daisies.
Who knew that strapping your young children into their car seats and driving them to their deaths into a lake could be so rewarding?
Don't worry guys, if she's your type but it doesn't work out, there's always this woman.
Comments
Okay, that's so fucking creepy I don't even know where to start. Evil fucking bitch.
Posted by: Kymberlie R. McGuire | July 10, 2003 10:25 PM
Fucking amazing. I didn't realize how long it has been since we've heard anything from Ms. Smith -- good to know her conscience is healthy. Somehow, I'd be happier if I knew she had lost her fingernails in the concrete walls of her cell in a fit of guilt-ridden psychosis.
Posted by: Jon | July 10, 2003 10:33 PM
Maybe you should point her out to Frank. He seems to be in the market.
Posted by: Matt Navarre | July 10, 2003 10:45 PM
C'mon folks, a simple little offspring drowning thingie shouldn't keep a girl from having a chance to find another guy to breed with...
Posted by: MikeR | July 10, 2003 11:27 PM
I was going to make a comment about how she enjoys short drives at the lake...or maybe how she'd make a great girlfriend because when she says she'd kill for you that she means it...but those are in bad taste and just black humor that's best left to Laurence.
I hope that she gets all the attention she deserves with this little ad. Sick bitch.
Posted by: Natalie | July 10, 2003 11:48 PM
See?
You really can't judge a book by it's cover.
Looking at that picture would you imagine that she is a fucking loopy/nutty child murderer?
Yikes!
That's the scariest thing about it.
Posted by: Radmila | July 10, 2003 11:51 PM
Still can't figure out why this sorry waste of carbon didn't dangle at the end of a rope.
Posted by: Ken Summers | July 10, 2003 11:58 PM
1) Really crazy...it's the sort of thing you'd see in a Naked Gun movie because it is so absolutely incredible (like an ad for Charles Manson looking for a girlfriend with a swastika carved on his forehead...)
2) I love your site. :)
Posted by: Banagor | July 11, 2003 12:14 AM
Sad thing is, there are going to be plenty of guys writing to her, hoping that the correspondence will get steamy.
Posted by: Jay Caruso | July 11, 2003 12:27 AM
This is really quite...creepy. She actually looks normal and even, dare I say, somewhat attractive? I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her until my brain finally clicked in. I can see alot of people writing her actually...I know I have the strange urge to. I've never talked to a complete psychopath...
Posted by: Chris | July 11, 2003 01:08 AM
And I thought I had a complete~~relatively speaking~~set of psycho questions:
1: Are you a vegetarian?
2: Do you use cocaine in any form?
3: Do you have any exotic pets?
4: Are you addicted to anything (besides nicotine and caffeine)?
I just don't want to have to ask a girl if she is a child murderer before I take her out on a date.
Posted by: Perry | July 11, 2003 01:26 AM
Some crazy friend of mine kept trying to convince me to be interested in this friend of his who had tried to convince her boyfriend to kill her husband. Somehow he couldn't understand why I wouldn't be attracted to a disloyal attempted murder. It was ultra creepy to listen to him dote over this piece of shit.
Posted by: Joshua Scholar | July 11, 2003 01:31 AM
You make fun of this, and yet you elect someone who kills children to be your leader. Which is sicker?
Posted by: morph | July 11, 2003 01:58 AM
"You make fun of this, and yet you elect someone who kills children to be your leader. Which is sicker?"
OK, who's been peeing in the gene pool? Let this be a lesson to you--this is what you get.
Posted by: M. Scott Eiland | July 11, 2003 03:12 AM
There's something about the tone of this woman's "repentance" that reminds me of Amy Fisher.
Posted by: Seth | July 11, 2003 05:02 AM
This is pretty funny. The sad thing is that she'll get some guys. Of course, if I recall women prisoners are so sexually deprived, they'd probably have sex with Michael Moore after ten years..well maybe ;)
Posted by: Green Baron | July 11, 2003 05:09 AM
Yeah, I wouldn't want to be judgmental about a woman who deliberately drowned her kids to get attention. That's just like so totally unfair.
[/sarcasm]
Posted by: Rita | July 11, 2003 06:06 AM
"You make fun of this, and yet you elect someone who kills children to be your leader. Which is sicker?"
Hey, I never voted for Clinton...
Posted by: Kevin | July 11, 2003 08:01 AM
She forgot to add "loves children".
Posted by: Tracy | July 11, 2003 11:10 AM
One messed up chick..
I think she shouldn't worry so much about the "pain" she's caused her kids, seeing as while causing that pain they "caught" a "slight" case of death.
Posted by: NetherTroll | July 11, 2003 12:04 PM
Okay, and now the plot thickens:
Sex and the Incarcerated Girl
Lovely person, no?
Posted by: Pete (Alois) | July 11, 2003 12:33 PM