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swf, likes long romantic walks on death row, rainbows and child homicide

Hey fellas, looking for that special someone? Take a look at this ad:

susansmith.jpg

So if you are a non-judgmental kind of guy (maybe you've murdered a few people yourself) and you just love rainbows and Mickey Mouse (and what self-respecting man doesn't?) and you enjoy church (hopefully you go to a church that forgives heinous acts of human depravity) then this is your girl. Go get her.

She's sitting in her cozy little jail cell right now, all fixed up with a nice hairdo and a new sweatsuit, typing away on her computer with internet access, and spending her time reading, writing, doing puzzles and thinking about waterfalls and daisies.

Who knew that strapping your young children into their car seats and driving them to their deaths into a lake could be so rewarding?

Don't worry guys, if she's your type but it doesn't work out, there's always this woman.

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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference swf, likes long romantic walks on death row, rainbows and child homicide:

» Dear Susan- from Jake's Dad
Saw your ad in the personals, and I have a feeling we would get along really well. Sincerely, Orenthal Hat Tip: Michele [Read More]

» Susan be lookin' for a MAN! from The S-Train Canvass
Ooohh boy. Goody gundrops! God fearin' Susan Smith be lookin' for a MAN! After deep-sixing her children and blaming it... [Read More]

» Susan be lookin' for a MAN! from The S-Train Canvass
Ooohh boy. Goody gundrops! God fearin' Susan Smith be lookin' for a MAN! After deep-sixing her children and blaming it... [Read More]

» SWF, likes Mickey Mouse, drowning children from Inoperable Terran
I really have no snappy remarks for this one. Luckily Michele does.... [Read More]

Comments

Okay, that's so fucking creepy I don't even know where to start. Evil fucking bitch.

Fucking amazing. I didn't realize how long it has been since we've heard anything from Ms. Smith -- good to know her conscience is healthy. Somehow, I'd be happier if I knew she had lost her fingernails in the concrete walls of her cell in a fit of guilt-ridden psychosis.

Maybe you should point her out to Frank. He seems to be in the market.

C'mon folks, a simple little offspring drowning thingie shouldn't keep a girl from having a chance to find another guy to breed with...

I was going to make a comment about how she enjoys short drives at the lake...or maybe how she'd make a great girlfriend because when she says she'd kill for you that she means it...but those are in bad taste and just black humor that's best left to Laurence.

I hope that she gets all the attention she deserves with this little ad. Sick bitch.

See?
You really can't judge a book by it's cover.
Looking at that picture would you imagine that she is a fucking loopy/nutty child murderer?
Yikes!
That's the scariest thing about it.

Still can't figure out why this sorry waste of carbon didn't dangle at the end of a rope.

1) Really crazy...it's the sort of thing you'd see in a Naked Gun movie because it is so absolutely incredible (like an ad for Charles Manson looking for a girlfriend with a swastika carved on his forehead...)

2) I love your site. :)

Sad thing is, there are going to be plenty of guys writing to her, hoping that the correspondence will get steamy.

This is really quite...creepy. She actually looks normal and even, dare I say, somewhat attractive? I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her until my brain finally clicked in. I can see alot of people writing her actually...I know I have the strange urge to. I've never talked to a complete psychopath...

And I thought I had a complete~~relatively speaking~~set of psycho questions:

1: Are you a vegetarian?
2: Do you use cocaine in any form?
3: Do you have any exotic pets?
4: Are you addicted to anything (besides nicotine and caffeine)?

I just don't want to have to ask a girl if she is a child murderer before I take her out on a date.

Some crazy friend of mine kept trying to convince me to be interested in this friend of his who had tried to convince her boyfriend to kill her husband. Somehow he couldn't understand why I wouldn't be attracted to a disloyal attempted murder. It was ultra creepy to listen to him dote over this piece of shit.

You make fun of this, and yet you elect someone who kills children to be your leader. Which is sicker?

"You make fun of this, and yet you elect someone who kills children to be your leader. Which is sicker?"

OK, who's been peeing in the gene pool? Let this be a lesson to you--this is what you get.

There's something about the tone of this woman's "repentance" that reminds me of Amy Fisher.

This is pretty funny. The sad thing is that she'll get some guys. Of course, if I recall women prisoners are so sexually deprived, they'd probably have sex with Michael Moore after ten years..well maybe ;)

Yeah, I wouldn't want to be judgmental about a woman who deliberately drowned her kids to get attention. That's just like so totally unfair.

[/sarcasm]

"You make fun of this, and yet you elect someone who kills children to be your leader. Which is sicker?"

Hey, I never voted for Clinton...

She forgot to add "loves children".

One messed up chick..
I think she shouldn't worry so much about the "pain" she's caused her kids, seeing as while causing that pain they "caught" a "slight" case of death.

Okay, and now the plot thickens:

Sex and the Incarcerated Girl

Lovely person, no?