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Oh, Canada

I was remiss in not mentioning Canada Day yesterday.

I love Canada, despite my grumblings about it here once in a while. However, Canada for me means hockey. It doesn't mean bacon or Rush or foul tasting beer or beautiful scenery. It's hockey.

I've been to Canada three times; twice to Toronto and once to Montreal. All three times were trips made specifically to attend hockey games. The people were incredibly nice, for the most part. The cities were clean. Toronto city life is a blast.

My fond rememberances of all things Candada:

My love affair with the Maple Leafs and Rick Vaive in particular.
NHL Expansion and the Winnepeg Jets having the saddest record ever.
The butt-ugly uniforms of the Vancouver Canucks.
My outright hatred of the Edmonton Oilers, particularly Dave "Cement Head" Semenko.

Oh, there's a baseball memory as well - Dave Winfield. Seagull. Death.

Instead of going on about Celine Dion and Bryan Adams and The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, I'll just ask you all to join me in a rousing chorus of the Canadian National Anthem. You can find the lyrics below.

Remember the royal anthem of the kilted yaksmen!

Our country reeks of trees
Our yaks are really large
And they smell like rotting beef carcasses
And we have to clean-up after them
And our saddle sores are the best
We proudly wear women's clothing
And searing sand blows up our skirts

And buzzards, they soar overhead
And poisonous snakes devour us whole
Our bones will bleach in the sun.

And we will probably go to hell
And that is our great reward
For being the-uh-roy-yal
Canadian kilted yaksmen

Our country reeks of trees
Our yaks are really large
And they smell like rotting beef carcasses
And we have to clean-up after them
And out saddle sores are the best
We proudly wear women's clothing
And searing sand blows up our skirts
And buzzards, they soar overhead
And poisonous snakes devour us whole
Our bones will bleach in the sun
And we will probably go to hell
And that is our great reward
For being the-uh-roy-yal
Candian kilted yaksmen


Yaksmen, we stand on guard for thee.

Comments

In honour of Canada Day, exerpted lyrics from The Arrogant Worms' song "Canada Is Really Big"

we're larger than malaysia, almost as big as asia
we're bigger than australia and it's a continent
so big we seldom bother to go see one another
but we often go to other countries for vacations
our mountains are very pointy, our prairies are not
the rest is kinda bumpy, but man do we have a lot!
(we've got a lot of land, we've got a whole lot of land)

so stand up and be proud and sing it very loud
we stand out from the crowd, cause Canada's really big

Ah, I like your version better. Funny thing, my daughter still recognizes the Canadian Anthem (not quite at much as the US one, her favorite song). I guess it was all the WHL and NHL hockey games we attended and watched while I was pregnant. :P

Check out Australia.

Okay, the real reason was an association with the Edmund Fitzgerald. Does Bernard Bolan's ``Not Many Fish'' remind you of that tune? http://rhhardin.home.mindspring.com/bolan.fish.ra (325k) A question I've asked occasionally and it's not been answered; so the file is still up. Bolan being an Australian lawyer.

It struck me right away: a nice satire of Lightfoot. But Bolan says he's never heard of it; so I guess just the ballad form forces a resemblance. Australia is hockey-free.

Somebody could bring up the Canadian poet Standish O'Grady, from my book of Canadian Poets. Apparently he immigrated, looked around, and went back where he came from. He describes Canada before hockey:

Here forests crowd, unprofitable lumber,
O'er fruitless lands indefinite as number;
Where birds scarce light, and with the north winds veer
On wings of wind, and quickly disappear,
Here the rough Bear subsists his winter year,
And licks his paw and finds no better fare...
The lank Canadian eager trims his fire,
And all around their simpering stoves retire;
With fur clad friends their progenies abound;
Unlettered race, how few the number tells,
Their only pride a cariole and bells....
Perchance they revel; still around they creep,
And talk, and smoke, and spit, and drink, and sleep!

I still liked the suggestion that your flag should be 9 beavers pissing on a frog.

Foul tasting beer? Try Sleeman's Dark. This best part is you'll have to go to Canada to get one.

Don't forget that Canada gave us Neil Young and Joni Mitchell. A plus in my book.
D.

Kate & Anna McGarrigle, Claire Pelletier, Jan Arden.

Don Cherry.

Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette, to name a few...

Oh, you Americans can have Celine Dion if you want...