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thou shall not annoy thy neighbors

It is quite rude to begin doing construction work on your house at 7am on a Sunday morning. It is even ruder than mowing your lawn at 8am on Saturday.

I have a good mind to go over there and rip out every single nail that was noisily hammered into boards today.

My sleep was already disrupted by dreams that kept me busy and breathless. Running to catch buses that had already come, trying to save small children from a fire, and dodging low flying planes.

Then the birds, always the birds, and my neighbor's car alarm singing its blaring siren song over and over until she finally came out and turned it off.

I fell back asleep near 6:30 and then the hammering started. Occasionally the pounding noise was joined by the buzz of one power tool or another.

Now it is my head that is pounding and I have the urge to make the offending neighbor pay for his sins.

I'll wait until he's lazing in his hammock this afternoon, beer and newspaper in hand. I'll sit and wait some more until he is comfortable enough that his eyelids start drooping and he lapses into what he believes is a well-deserved nap.

And then, I'll go outside and wash my car. I'll turn the radio on as I do so.

Slayer, turned to maximum volume.

That ought to do it.


"The other night I dreamed I had inomnia. I was so glad when I woke up. I thought, 'Oh, thank God. Now I can get some sleep!" (Rita Rudner)

I'll trade dreams with you. That's better than being pony-nuked by the EU from previously unknown installations in South America any day.

You guys have all the interesting dreams. If I remember my dreams at all, they end up being stupid ones like I have to pick up kids from school or mundane crap like that.

I need to get out more.

I suggest Reign in Blood.

gonna have a little bit of that dish best served cold? go for it.. sounds like he deserves it.

One word. Mood swings.

Women can't handl carpentry. That's why they have shop for boys and home economics for girls.


I can handle carpentry. I can fucking DO carpentry. And I can't bake a cake.

What I can't handle is someone banging away on their house at 7am on a Sunday morning.

Oh, and you, Ron.


Most towns have ordinances which forbid construction, landscape maintainance, etc. before a certain time. Maybe you should ask your city clerk and either tell your neighbor, or leave them a note, informing them of the legal hours for such work.

Unfortunately, reason does not always prevail. In my neighborhood, there is a problem with cars hot-rodding in and out at all hours. When it gets to be too much, I go on a ride with my Harley (which is as loud as thunder) and make sure to come home at 2:30 or 3am. I then ride up and down each street, redlining the engine, rattling everyone's windows. It's amazing how the hot-rodding stops for quite a while (that is until they forget their lesson).

No, I think it's the constant banging; it begins to annoy women, and women have to let you know how they're feeling. They're basically weather systems. A guy just hears the banging and knows that somebody has something to do; the sun's up anyway, might as well get up. Everybody has their own turf, to a guy. Live and let live.

On the contrary, I know quite a few of my male neighbors who are annoyed by Sunday morning banging.

Does the rattling of pebbles in your head get to you sometimes, Ron?

Yeah Slayer would do it nicely, especially their older stuff. I would personally have played some Iron Maiden. Number of the Beast or Live after Death would work rather nicely.

Heh, I'm thinking "constant banging" is one thing Ron knows nothing about.

The guy is probably enjoying himself. He's planned the day, has enough time to finish, and gets out of the house. The sun is up and all's right with the world. If some woman doesn't like the noise, she can deal with it herself. He isn't trying to get laid so doesn't have to natter about it with her as if he cared. That's the sort of freedom that used to get guys to join the Navy. As far as I know, they don't sleep in on Sunday.

The solution is simple. Ask and thou shalt receive. Wander over as soon as he wakes you. Throw on your oldest and slinkiest coffee and jam stained housecoat, hair and teeth unbrushed, bloody eyes rolling wildly and stumble on over there with the stench of last night's bourbon reeking from every pore. Get right up in his face and ask him for the time of day then walk away. I know I'd never do that to you again in a million years.

Neighbor A went on vacation, leaving TeenSon at home. TeenSon washed his car every other morning at 7AM, full throttle radio. Neighbor B, also on vacation and wishing to sleep late, tried tactfully to speak to TeenSon about situation, only to be rebuffed. Neighbor B took many pictures of TeenSon's ongoing house party, which he then one car-washing morning showed to TeenSon and wondered idly if TeenSon's mom might like to see them also.
TeenSon began taking the car to the carwash.
Neighbor B got his beauty sleep.

Better yet, round up as many neighbour children as you can and send them over to "help."

Michele, isn't this part of the same bunch of neighbors you posted about who bitch about basketball hoops and front yards that aren't maintained with surgical precision? What's up with that? These people sound like they need to be tossed into the hurt locker for a few hours.

Slayer isn't heavy enough.

I don't advocate the following group for any purpose other than "Pissing Off The Neighbors"

The Mentors, specifically their albums "You Axed For It" or "Up The Dose".

I will not even mention song titles here, because they're nasty enough all on their own, but the songs are rude, callous, chauvinistic and .. and this is important .. the lyrics are completely understandable even at really high volumes, so it's sure to annoy the neighbor.

Everyone should have a copy in their collection for those emergency situations.

7 am wouldn't really bother me, but then I live in a fairly rural place. The economy is basically oil and farming, and most of us get up to go to work at 4:30 or 5 in the summertime, earlier for the farmers. This is because one wants to get as much work done as possible when it's still cool, the better to avoid heat casualty.

So I personally wouldn't begrudge someone who maybe works during the week taking advantage of whatever free time he or she has to get a project done, and wanting to beat the heat by getting an early start. Although I guess there isn't as much room in the suburbs, and being a good neighbor would demand getting a later start, and stretching a project out a little bit.

Anyway, what would be an appropriate time to start?

Y'all got to move to the South! I once mowed my lawn at 10:00 (We went to the early service and were back home by 9:45). You should've seen the dirty looks I got. While it has become "barely acceptable" to do home improvement projects after 1:00 pm on Sunday, they still hold the 4th Commandment (or 3rd depending on your religion) in high regard. Michele, despite her atheism, is biblically correct in her title of this entry as an interpretation of the 4th Commandment: "In it (the Sabbath) you shall do no work (Ex.20:10)."…… Unless her neighbors are Jews.

Unfortunately the Jews "think" the Sabbath is on Saturday, which allows these misguided souls to work on Sunday. Sure, Moses, who brought down the original tablets down to humanity, was a Jew, but that doesn't make him right.

So on a restful Sunday, I sit back relax with my family, fortunate that my wife went to the wine store yesterday, because in many places in the south, YOU CAN'T BUY THE FRIGGIN' "FRUIT OF THE VINE" ON SUNDAY!!!

Sport the war, war support
The sport is total war
When victory's a massacre
When victory is survival
When this end is a slaughter
The final swing is not a drill
It's how many people I can kill....

I have to agree that 7:00 AM is too early for making a bunch of noise on the weekend. I try to avoid doing anything noisy before 9:00, with 8:00 as my bare minimum. Getting started at the break of dawn is fine if you live on a farm (and actually WANT to get up that early on the weekend), but urban living does require some consideration for one's neighbors.

Old Ron just seems to have some issues with women in general...

I don`t know about New York,but where I live you cant work noisily until 10 am.
People usually wait till noon though.
Ron,some girls make great carpenters,some guys make great chefs,it really depends on what they want to do.
JFH,chronologicly the Jews are right about the Sabbath.Christians chose Sunday because it`s believed that was the day Christ arose.
Michele,Metallica (black),Megadeth,and Klank aught to fix your rude neighbor.

An ex girlfriend of mine had the misfortune of renting her house from a contractor who lived across the street. The backyard shed at the house she and her roomie shared had the misfortune of being storage for his contracting business. That and the fact that they were always doing work in the yard at her house or the landlord's house across the street at ungodly hours.

The only problem I had was when I was an apartment dweller a couple of years ago. A neighbor vacuumed at 1 am one night. So the next week I vacuumed at 8 am and it never happened again.

I used to live next door to a guy who would work on what was either a motorboat or a motorcycle early in the am-- whatever it was it had the loudest engine on earth.

By the way, Ron sounds like the kind of guy who would do the above, and get all bent out of shape because his neighbors complained.

When I've had the someone in the rental next door start getting noisy, I fire up the Gateway and play Prokofiev's "Sycthian Suite". It's kind of the pagan Russian version of Megadeath. I can also blare the 1st mvmt. of Bartok's 2nd Piano Concerto, with tone clusters, lots of loud piano banging, etc.

20th Century music: It's what's for breakfast.

Dude, I have a neighbor that mows his lawn every single day. He has some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder with his lawn, either that or he is making a bid for next year's US Open. He usually does this early on Saturday/Sunday or during my nap in the afternoons. Slayer is good, but I am thinking Arson.

Good idea. Burning the lawn will save him having to mow it again for at least three or four days.

Oh -- you meant a rock band?