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ACME: For all your sabotage needs

I have found a way to deal with my enemies. I have a master plan.

acme.gifFirst, I will hop on my jet-propelled pogo stick (my rocket-powered roller skates are in the shop) and I will head straight to the Wig Shop, and then to the Theaterical Hat Co., so I can disguise myself from those I am stalking.

I'll call the Building and Wrecking Company and have them produce a large structure, perhaps a shopping center, which I will use to lure my enemies into my trap.

Of course, in order to complete my plan, I will need plenty of anvils, some nitroglycerin, a detonator, and some blasting powder.

To lure them into the mall, I'll use a billboard to advertise a sale on high-speed tonic. Oh, and the girl. There's got to be a voluptuous girl standing at the door to the mall beckoning the "customers" to come in.

They will walk into the mall, unaware that the floor has been covered in grease. They'll slip and slide into my giant wall of glue and as they hang there, flailing and crying, I will pull back my giant rubber band, drop the indestructo steel ball in the end of it, and let loose.

As the steel ball knocks them all into a final, fatal slumber, I will don my super outfit, call up the paving company, and have them flatten and pave over the fake shopping center. My enemies will never be seen again.

No, I don't worry about the police or the government or anyone who might want to do harm to me. That's what my time-space gun is for.

[thank you, mefi]

Comments

You have enemies?

Um, I take that question back, after reading one of the previous posts...Hang in there.

The folks who are currently throwing brickbats at you probably don't like Wile E. Coyote or Bugs or Daffy either. In fact, they're probably deeply hurt and offended by what they perceive to be a grossly unfairly negative portrayal of Elmer Fudd. ;-)

Back when Nick at Night ran WB cartoons in their line-up, they called the program "The Acme Hour". The TAH promos were customer-service ads where the Acme reps were talking about how they worked with Mr. Coyote on the phone so that they'd get him the right equipment for whatever plot he had in mind. I can see it now: "Michele told us that she was having some troll problems and asked us for help. No problem, I told her, we have some Acme Troll Repellant that will redirect any trolls on her weblog to infinitely recursive webpages in Inner Mongolia,,,,,,,,,,,"

Wasn't it on Cartoon Network? Know thy channels!

I remember them being on in the late '80s, and early 90's, when the Cartoon Network was but a gleam in the eye of Ted Turner. If the CN used them after NN stopped using them, more power to them!

Hey, you are either much younger than me, or your kids are much older than mine;-)

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