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if only semen were a health aid

In keeping with the sperm theme today (well, there was a sperm theme this morning) I bring this health warning:

DO NOT INGEST THE SEMEN OF THE WEST AFRICAN GREEN MONKEY!
Kate doesn't have a NSFW warning on that link, but I'm nicer than her, so don't click the link on her site unless your boss likes monkey sex

In the event this warning has come too late, please take a teaspoon of syrup of ipepac to induce vomiting and see a veterenarian immediately, followed by a trip to the sex therapist.

Back away from the monkey, Frank!

Posted by on June 25, 2003 03:05 PM |

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incidentally, i spent an hour fixing my fence, where the storm knocked pieces down, and i need tyou to know, it is nastier than monkey porn outside. it's only about eighty degrees, but it's like nine million percent humidity. and... [Read More]

Tracked on June 25, 2003 05:33 PM

Comments

Hell, Michele. I am not safe for work, so I figured the fact that the links aren't went without saying.

Posted by: Venomous Kate | June 25, 2003 03:12 PM

Eeeewwwww!

I make it a practice to avoid sucking off monkeys. I have a husband who is a much better substitute.

Posted by: Keith | June 25, 2003 04:09 PM

I'm assuming parrot semen is still okay. I'm hoping for a second date.

Posted by: Julie | June 25, 2003 07:02 PM

Is Julie dating Kevin?

Posted by: Ken Summers | June 25, 2003 07:29 PM

Well, there goes the national pastime.

Posted by: LC Victor | June 25, 2003 08:53 PM

Now all other monkeys will come with the sticker: "Semen safe for consumption."
As well they should.

Posted by: LeeAnn | June 25, 2003 10:58 PM

I'm going to sue you for slander... or libel. Whichever one is the written one.

Posted by: Frank J. | June 26, 2003 06:53 AM

I think you're being a little HARD on the monkeys... Wocka wocka wocka!

Posted by: C-MEN | June 26, 2003 09:34 AM

OMG!!!!

"if only semen were a health aid"

JUST the other day I did a search for cure downloads and this article came up in my search:
Can semen cure the blues?

Posted by: Lori | June 26, 2003 11:55 AM

Hmmm... I seem to be doing something wrong with the linkage, so here's the url to copy/paste.

Seems semen may have an anti-depressant effect!!

http://www.salon.com/sex/feature/2002/06/19/semen/

Posted by: Anonymous | June 26, 2003 12:05 PM

Oops again... the above post/url was me.

quietly leaving comments section now

Posted by: Lori | June 26, 2003 12:10 PM

Lori is absolutely right. It does have a very strong antidepressant effect. I'll have to ask my wife if it's good for her, too.

Posted by: Ken Summers | June 26, 2003 01:51 PM