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hi. my name is michele and i'm a misanthrope

I discovered something today. I mean, I've known it all along but I guess I'm just a bit late in admitting it.

I am a misanthrope.

If I could live the rest of my life without ever having to face another real live person (besides my immediate family, of course - and sometimes not even them) I would be a shiny, happy, well-adjust person.

I hate people. I hate people of all kinds. I hate the snooty clerk at Best Buy who sneered as I bought the Simple Plan cd for my son. I hate the lady with the ten inch fingernails in the supermarket who yapped on her cell phone the entire time she was shopping, making plans for her week long spa visit. I hate people who change their language so as not offend anyone within earshot; it's so phony and so obvious. I hate the posers on MTV and I hate baseball players who put their own bloated egos ahead of the team's needs. I hate the people who leave pamphlets on my car urging me to join them in their kingdom of whatever. I hate people who push religion down my throat because surely, as an atheist, I must be lacking something in my life. I hate teenagers who think the world owes them a living. I hate people who protest for one cause but try to sneak all their other little causes in at the same time and it becomes nothing but a hate fest. I hate people who claim to be pure of heart and spirit, because no one is. I hate the guy at the local comic book store who smells like stale cologne and has sweat stains on the armpits of every shirt he owns. I hate people who don't make their kids buckle up, drivers who don't use directionals, people who don't stop for school buses and anyone who drives a Hummer in the suburbs. I hate the moonbat liberals and their anti-semitism. I hate that chick from Trading Spaces, anyone associated with American Junior Idol and anyone who has been on a reality show where marrying a total stranger is the prize. I hate homophobes, racists and neonazis. I hate low talkers. I hate the guy at the gas station who tries every time to give me two or three more dollars worth of gas than I asked for. I hate the school adminstrators who feel the need to whitewash every single textbook so no one gets their feelings hurt. I hate the gym teachers who will only let the kids play non-competitive games. I hate everyone in Price Club. I hate people who answer questions with questions. I hate bloggers who have egos bigger than their bandwidth, bloggers who rip another blogger apart and close of the comments for that post, and bloggers who feel it is their job to make everyone in the world smile, smile, smile, whether they want to or not. I hate people who say "cheer up, it can't be all that bad," and people who try to make you smile even though you don't feel like it. I hate people who think the world shoud be a place filled with rainbows and fuzzy bunnies and flowers. I hate people who do not accept responsibility for their own actions, people who sue a company even thought it was their own stupidty that caused their problems, people who blame every single person but themselves for their kid's attitude problem.

I hate being in a bad mood, but these things happen.

Like I said, this weather better change soon before I start packing heat and I suddenly go crazy and climb a bell tower and try to shoot up the clouds. I'm pretty damn close to that.

Anyhow, I feel better for getting that all out now. Your turn. I'm headed over to the cofee and doughnuts.

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Comments

Cheer up, it can't be all that bad. It could be worse... you could be French.

As Mort Sahl once said, you have to hate people in groups. No one has time to get to know them all personally.

I hate all the people who said the war in Iraq wasn't about ooooiiiiilllll, and when it's dicovered that it was in fact partly about oil, they say "who cares? There is no other viable energy alternative so get over it.."

I hate all the peole who said we must invade Iraq because it is an imminent threat, and the imminent threat has yet to be found they say "who cares? The Iraqis are free!"

I hate all those people who actually pretended to care about the plight of the Iraqi people, most of which proffessed such only after the operation was named "Iraqi Freedom".

I hate people who accept governmental deceptions on the grounds that the Means Justify the End. The same people who jump all over a president for lying about a blow job, a lie in which no one died, a lie which will ever be trotted out whenever the Bush Admin is criticized.

I hate people who knee-jerk the anti-Semite card at the slightest criticism of Israel yet have no problems insulting other ethnic groups.

"I hate people that think that I care what they think. I hate people that think that their ass don't stink. I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more. I hate killin' people cuz I hate to keep score. I hate you but you hate yourself too, and I hate to be honest but I'd hate to be you."

I've got just the thing for you. Presenting, (drumroll) the not so handy dandy "Elephantgun"!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-6/245870/elephantgun.jpg

What it lacks in portability, it makes up for with sheer destructive power.

I agree with everything you said and just want to add. I hate tree huggers who spew crap like "can't we all just get along?"

i'd send you some southern california sunshine but it's moved to the bahamas. i actually like the dreary weather we're having here but continuous rain can be a real crappy brain sogger. i'd send you a little of my own personal sunshine but i think i lost it a few months ago, gawd-fucking-dammit.
let's all just be fucking cranky together, mmkay? that way i won't feel so bad when i bitch and moan all over town 'cause everyone else is doing it, too! bugger.

I hate having this pulled muscle in my ass. My one true love in life - taking a crap - has been ruined for the next few days.

I'm focusing all my hatred on Jacque Chirac and Matchbox Twenty right now. Otherwise, my list of stuff I hate gets pretty long, so I decided to cut back.

You're not a true misanthrope, and you know it. When you're in a bad mood there's a natural tendency to dwell on the negative, but a real misanthrope is always in a bad mood. The sun will come out, eventually...

Hell is other people.

MikeR stupidly said:
...a real misanthrope is always in a bad mood...

Not true. A misanthrope has no need to be in a bad mood if there are no other people nearby, or at a distance, to cause the misanthrope pain. Without spouses, parents, children, bosses, or, basically, anyone else, a misanthrope's heart is lighter than air.

So, welcome, Michele, to Misanthropes Synonymous. The first step in healing---well, OK, we don't heal. We just accept our misanthropy. Meetings are every Tuesday at 8pm, at our own houses. You don't think we'd actually meet do you? What, each other? In person? Yuck!

Huuuuuuuugs!

I hate the Aplle rep who won't give me a straight effin answer about the G5,I hate....mmmmmmmmmmm,douhgnuts.....I'm feeling much better now,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

From Florence King, in answer to the question, "How can you hate people?" "Who else is there to hate?"

"Don't touch me, don't ever touch me." -- Tom Servo.

Oooohhhhh, doughnuts and coffee. I like doughnuts and coffee.
By the way, you can hate me too. I don't care. Go ahead, make your day.

I'm not going to call you and sing "I hate everything about you".

No, I'm not. We're going to let it go.

Oh wait, tomorrow is today and I think fuck it.

As much as I try to love everyone, (seriously, I'm overcoming youthful, right wing republican brainwashing) I am conflicted times ten. Even with people who agree with me. Because if you do, you are either patronizing or insane (like me). Now pay attention, please. This is the important stuff.

So what's next? Who do we trust.
Obviously, no one..

I love Jason for quoting the Bloodhound Gang. Awesome.

I really hate Sylvain for mentioning oil when it comes to the invasion of Iraq. You are so simple and dumb. I hope that you get subsidized housing and are able to trick young girls into believing that you stand for something so they suck your dick. (because, we obviously gained millions of gallons of oil after Desert Storm, not). That would be the apex of your simple life.

I offer no solutions, but I believe that this government that learned and protected our needs through the cold war, may know more than they are ready to tell you and me. Even the most retarded congressman knows secrets about our, and other countries that most people could not handle.

America is a target. 9/11 was a wake up call. But the fact that we have not been hit again in any major way proves tha even the lone gunman with the desperate call, and cause, has been stopped by intelligence. (14 terrorist attacks in other countries since 9/11, 7 directly attributed to Osama's boys or other cooperatives.)

So what?

I don't know. I just hate when morons think that they can possibly understand the actions of the politics of this country. Yes it is corrupt. Yes there are inequities. But CNN and ABC and MSNBC and FOXNEWS are not privliged to the real deals that occur every day on the Hill.

If you think that you get the full story from Peter Jennings, kill yourself. You should never breed.

Question everything. But don't assume that you have all the information
As regular Americans, we don't want it. We want to believe that we are righteous. When we fuck up, we blame.

Oh shit. That is so preachy. But I have to post it.

i hate the rain and sunny weather. and i hate the beach and mountains too. boo hoo. and i don't like a thing about the city, no no. and i, i, i hate the countryside too.

and i hate everything about you.

sure, melly won't go there, but i sure will.

A week ago or so you said that your writing comes from an angry place... Perhaps most of this anger is something you stoke in order to write and is simply deliberate.

I can relate.

Some years ago I suffered some minor brain damage/and or major depression. Among the many problems this caused (like short term memory loss) was an inability to put sentences together.But if I was angry enough then I could talk. I spent years being angry just so that I could talk to people... Eventually I could talk even when I wasn't angry. But it took me a couple years after that to stop feeling angry all the time - and it took a lot more years to stop feeling depressed. My memory also came back by the way.

Maybe you'll get better at writing and find that you don't have to be angry anymore.

I hate Sylvain for having poor reading comprehension and his inability to think for himself. OK, I don't hate him, just pity him.

I think it's scarey that there is someone out there that feels like I do. I hate that.

Great post.

This has been a subject of conversation with us over the past week. I do not need to have a personal relationship with the spotty teenager handing me my kids' Happy Meals. Just take my money and hand over the food. If you meet my eyes I'll spork you to death.

So what's it called when you think of people as objects, there only to do your bidding?

"The sun'll come out...tomorrow"

I hate people that sing that song....and the people who work for Disney World. Wait, no, they just scare me. No living human could be that perky all the time. I think they're androids.

Is it ever going to stop raining up your way?

Beautiful! You articulated exactly how I feel. I dread even going to the grocery store, because I know some assclown is gonna piss me off.

I completely agree. Except for the fuzzy bunny part.

;-)

I hate stupid people.
With everyone I meet, I start off with a presumption of stupidity. That way I'm not disappointed when they turn out to be actually stupid (89% of the time) and am pleasantly surprised if they turn out to be intelligent.
I hate intelligent people too.

My core philosophy (if I have one) was borrowed whole-cloth from Linus Van Pelt:

"I love Mankind! It's people I can't stand!!!"

I fell in love with the word misanthrope when I ran across The Misanthropic Bitch's website (sorry I don't have the url handy). You ain't got nothing on her!

Nice to know there are more people out there that hate just about everything. The whole damn world is annoying.

I hate people who talk really loud in public places and stupid teenage girls who scream all the time.

Oh, and I hate people who say the word ‘height’ as if it ends in 'th" instead of rhyming it with sight. And people who say “irregardless” because there is no such word!

Heh. I can totally freaking relate, especially today. :o)

Why waste ammo on clouds when it's the people you hate?

Hi Michele.

"I hate people but love gatherings. Ironic, isn't it?"

Price Club? You mean CostCo?

Celine and Mariah
a random late night hang up phone call
fat zit-faced teenagers
who think that they know all.
assmonkeys with laptops
and people saying "bling bling"
these are a few of my least favorite things...

I hate, therefore I am.

Read some Hunter Thompson--it won't cheer you up, but it might make you laugh some so the annoying people quit telling you to cheer up.

yea, i'll second the comment that you have nothing on the misanthropic bitch (http://www.misanthropic-bitch.com/). she's been hating people and writing about it long before weblogs like yours even existed.

wanna know what i hate? i hate people who think hating everything is so. fucking. cool. grow up.

Ah well there are people that claim I am a lycanthrope.

Thank you Mrs. DuToit for pointing out "Irregardless." The biggest complaint I have against our sitting President is the fact that he can't say "nuclear" without pronouncing it "Nuke-U-lar", and anyone who think that "Reality" is actually a word as well.

Thanks for the "Hate" Michelle. Good Job.!

I hate blogger chicks who haven't been laid in a month and then turn on the rest of the world...

errrr wait a minute....

You can't do Texas as part of your six-state shooting spree -- been done before.

Go north to Mass., RI, Conn and Maine. Yeah, it's only four, but you'll be out of ammo by then anyway.

Maybe he's too young to remember, but I'd like to point out to Johnny Oh that Jimmy Carter pronounced it Nuke-You-Lar, and he was a nuclear engineer in the Navy.

I hate Sylvain...what a whiney little left wing nostril hair.

I don't hate anymore, if I can help it. It's a wasted emotion. You end up spending way to much time and energy either scheming or gloating over self-destructive things. Those energies are best spent with the people and things that you love.

But, I'm over 40. What do I know right? When you get here, where I am at, you will understand. And I seriously doubt you will be an atheist then either.

I hate coffee, but I love doughnuts.

i hate people that complain like bitches and can't suck it up and deal with their own shitty life on their own

I hate people that post stupity on random sites like this one. I almost hate myself.

I hate people who are superficial. I hate snobs. I hate gays, they are doing wrong and getting away with it. I hate how people think that everyone can fix everything with words, fighting/warring is a good solution too. I hate people who lie. I hate people 60-80% of the population. The other 30-40% is where it is at. They don't lie, they don't put on social masks, they don't think they are something they are not, they don't act selfish all the time, they don't hate me. I have long hair; I HATE PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT HAIRCUTS MATTER...IT IS HAIR! I won't cut it because I am making a point, not a trend or a fad. I hate people who hate guns, republicans, and I hate people who think that it is not possible in the least to have not gone to the moon successfully.