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this nuke the moon thing just ain't working

I should have known.

I should have known things would go horribly wrong as soon as my Nuke The Moon shirt came in the mail.

Frank promised it would change my life. He said my food would taste better, my paycheck would be larger and I'd become a rock star within 24 hours.

Instead, my site went down, I screwed up the comic blog I'm working on, a flood is forming on my front lawn and my dinner plans with Faith got put on hold. I also stepped in dog shit, lost ten dollars and realized the inspection on my car is overdue.

I'm blaming it all on Frank. I used to blame the evil monkey that lives in my closet, but I shipped him off to Frank's house yesterday, so that's taken care of.

Oh, Frank....he likes to eat live birds. If he's not fed at least three times a day, he'll piss in your bed. And thanks for the shirt. My husband says it makes me look 15 years younger. Considering he thought I looked ten years younger than my age to begin with, that makes me twenty five years younger, which makes me...ummm....counting on fingers....15.

Cool. I mean, kEwL.

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» Consumer Reports from Inoperable Terran
Michele has a decidedly mixed report on her new "Nuke the Moon" T-shirt.... [Read More]

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» Monkey Boy from Bad State of Gruntledness
Frank wants everybody to link to him 'cuz it's his blogoversery or you'll be destroyed. I dont want to be destroyed, so I'll link him. Even though I think he's still got the pet monkey Michele sent him.... [Read More]

Comments

No refunds :)

Hmm... another mention of your much awaited comics blog.

Could you give a few hints as to how it's shaping up?

Inquiring minds want to know. :)

I'd get the monkey back if I were you.

Nah, I'm just gonna send my evil monkey to kill him.

Didn't you see the new picture I have up on my blog? Do I look like someone who fears monkeys?

I have just returned from a field test of Nuke The Moon, with interesting results.

At Borders Books, Nuke The Moon attracted much gawking and a few whispered comments among patrons. However, a member of the staff giggled and said, "Why not? Nothing else has worked."

At TGI Friday's on Route 83, one waiter categorized Nuke The Moon as "weird." Another asked, "Are you serious, man?" Since I had a mouthful of Turkey BLT (extra mayo), my Better Half responded for me: "Right after Saudi Arabia."

At the Ice Cream Cottage on Sunrise Highway, Nuke The Moon was a major hit with a random crowd of teenage girls. Only one was related to me.

The severest trial of the evening came at home, when Nuke The Moon encountered my Newfoundland, Bruno. Bruno knocked me over and drooled on it copiously, bringing the field test to an end for the night.

Conclusion: More data needed.

That shirt has awesome powers. SInce I've worn it I've had several girls ask me out (too bad I'm already hitched for a while), plus several other things it has done greatly to me (including saving my life). Maybe you're just abusing the power.