ain't no sunshine: the rain has taken my sanity
It's raining. Again. There's a flood watch on for this weekend. It's rained 12 out of the last 14 weekends. This Little League season had more games rained out than games played.
It now smells like a swamp outside. I'm waiting to find an alligator crawling through my now overgrown lawn or fish jumping out of the sewer. Hell, the seagulls already think they are the beach - they're out in full force, shitting on my car and poking through my garbage.
Perhaps there is more significance to the rain than most people think. Maybe that ark is coming after all. And what if the ark is captained by Jerry Falwell? I let myself drown, that's what.
So where the hell did the sun go? Why do I constantly feel like I'm wilting? Where are the people who can control weather when you need them? What the northeast needs right now is a superhero in yellow tights and a white cape who can scare away these clouds, or at least pay the ransom to whoever has kidnapped the sun. Doesn't anyone have any gamma rays or laser beams that can change the weather? Jesus in a freaking canoe, what good are you people?