ain't no sunshine: the rain has taken my sanity
It's raining. Again. There's a flood watch on for this weekend. It's rained 12 out of the last 14 weekends. This Little League season had more games rained out than games played.
It now smells like a swamp outside. I'm waiting to find an alligator crawling through my now overgrown lawn or fish jumping out of the sewer. Hell, the seagulls already think they are the beach - they're out in full force, shitting on my car and poking through my garbage.
Perhaps there is more significance to the rain than most people think. Maybe that ark is coming after all. And what if the ark is captained by Jerry Falwell? I let myself drown, that's what.
So where the hell did the sun go? Why do I constantly feel like I'm wilting? Where are the people who can control weather when you need them? What the northeast needs right now is a superhero in yellow tights and a white cape who can scare away these clouds, or at least pay the ransom to whoever has kidnapped the sun. Doesn't anyone have any gamma rays or laser beams that can change the weather? Jesus in a freaking canoe, what good are you people?
Comments
west coast my friend. west coast. there is more than just movie stars and half million dollar condos in shitty neighborhoods and smog and just gobs of boobs. it's 300 days of perfect weather every year.
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | June 20, 2003 01:34 PM
Global warming? Naaaa, can't be. Our leaders assume us all this climate change talk is scaremongering by those who oppose our way of life.....
Posted by: Ken | June 20, 2003 01:58 PM
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, what do I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Posted by: blaster | June 20, 2003 02:14 PM
It's time to bring back the Cassadines!!!
Posted by: Patti | June 20, 2003 02:15 PM
It is currently pissing down rain here in "sunny" Florida. Oh well we need the rain, believe it or not. But it has been raining all day since the early morning, which is unusual.
Posted by: Andrea Harris | June 20, 2003 02:34 PM
Would you kindly reframe from using the name of Jesus in vain. The rest of the post is incredible as expected.
Posted by: RON | June 20, 2003 02:56 PM
Yeah, global warming my ass it was like 60 degrees yesterday. And it doesn't rain here every day you know, in fact just about every monday since april its been 60-70 degrees and sunny for my walk from my car to my office. Its sad when you live on long island, and you want to go to london so you can have some nice weather for a change.
Posted by: Collins | June 20, 2003 03:19 PM
Always gotta be someone pissing on the merriment... Ron, if Haysoose doesn't want his name bandied about he can file it with the fucking patent office just like everyone else.
Posted by: Sekimori | June 20, 2003 03:31 PM
scientists know that there are weird global climate changes happening, but they don't know why. They blame it on Bush not signing the Kyoto treaty, they blame it on cow farts, but it all just a guess.
If water levels do keep rising, and if we can't figure out how to stop it, maybe we should learn to live underwater - grow gills, learn to speak whale. Living a 'Finding Nemo' existence would be a lot more fun than 'Waterworld'
Posted by: mary | June 20, 2003 03:36 PM
The Ark's captain might be a longhaired lefty... you better train swimming and sleeping on the water ;-)
Posted by: Lilli Marleen | June 20, 2003 03:46 PM
Jimbo, while southern California does have 300 wonderful days of weather a year, they aren't happening right now.
It's been chilly and shitty for the last two weeks. Water even fell from the sky! WTF's up with that.
Posted by: Dan | June 20, 2003 05:37 PM
think dry
Posted by: kool keith | June 20, 2003 09:52 PM
I'm always glad to share the seagulls with you, Mich! They shit up my car all the time! And they never hit either of the cars next to me - just mine. Maybe because I'm lazy about washing it. Or maybe I'm just blessed, But really, why wash it when it's been raining for months and the rain washes the bird shit off just fine...
Has the pacific northwest had an abundance of sunshine or something?
And Patti - I was giggling at your mention of the Cassidines! Where's the Ice Princess when you need it? g
Maybe I should forget my new car and invest in a waverunner instead!
Posted by: Lambchop | June 20, 2003 10:01 PM
Sekimori: You are just one plain meanie. Remember the "right of reply" and cower all weekend from the celestial ceilings. May you find the true meaning of the words--TGIF.
Furthermore, demon--copyrights and copywrongs fall under the Library of Congress. Athough you may have used the power-of-attorney or authorization-of-an-agent and paid a fee for registration which makes you eligible to file statutory damages against infringement, tarnishment or dilution, the Library of Congress will not lift a middle finger to enforce your grant and you are left on your own to pay legal expenses. Trade names and Service names are the perview of the USPTO and you have the option of signing on the principal registry or the secondary registry.
Posted by: RON | June 20, 2003 10:03 PM