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psa: call your father today

This is my third Father's Day as a blogger, so I've done all the tributes already, to my father, Grandpa Joe (my mother's father) and Grandpa Al (my dad's father).

So I'll just say Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there and give you a few words of parenting wisdom from the ultimate in television fathers, Homer Simpson:

homer21.jpgThe code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.

Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening!

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

I never apologize Lisa, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am.

Marge, donít discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Itís what separates us from the animals Ö except the weasel.

I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood.

Comments

Giggle... I'm considering forwarding it to my Dad, but I was such an ungrateful brat as a boy that I'm afraid he might read some little bit of resentment into it - if only by reflex and if only for a second...

You left out, "Trying is the first step towards failure," and "Life is a series of crushing defeats, one after another, until you just wished Flanders was dead."