A Small Victory

Heretical Tea:
Powdered ice tea mix
equal parts peach schnapps and vodka
water to desired alcohol level (I usually don't use the water at all.)

This drink has always been very popular with the ladies.

The akablog: Manishevitz and Absinthe

The Apprehension:

In an old-fashioned:

2 Shots of Jamesons
2 Shots of Wild Turkey
Vermouth
Ice, if you're a heretic
Pillow, for when you pass out.

The ColorMePink...
Vodka, (lots)
pink lemonade
Seltzer for bubbles.

The Baseball Musing

A Scotch Highball, because Scotch is my favorite whiskey

2 oz. Scotch
Soda Water (or Sosa water, if you want to cheat).
Twist of lemon peel.

Fill highball glass with ice, pour scotch over the ice, add soda water or ginger ale and garnish with the lemon peel.

Mudslides are my favorite.

Just pick up a bottle of TGIF Mudslide drink mix - follow the directions using ice and a blender.

Tastes like a frozen chocolate milk - yummy!

For those mornings where the previous evening is a little blurry and that person laying next to you is only sort of Bagleyfamiliar:

2 shots absolut peppar
1 tsp tobasco sauce
1 dash cayenne pepper
1 pinch salt
1 dollup worsteshire sauce
1 clove garlic (use a garlic press to incorporate)
1 slice dill pickle
1 raw egg
add some sort of tomato/vegetable juice to taste.

For the martini-inclined:

Zamboni Fumes (blog under construction)

2 shots Ketel One
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Add a drop of Blue Curacao to give it that icy-blue color
Serve chilled
*This recipe also clears nasal congestion

Or you can forego the trip to the store and make:

Whack Me In the Head

Add equal parts of all available liquor.
Serve over ice.
*Not for the faint of heart/stomach

The World Wide Rant Drink that Looks, Smells, and Tastes Just Like Fat Tire

Ingredients:

• 1 bottle of Fat Tire Amber Ale

Open bottle. Consume. Repeat.

I don't have time for all your fancy drinks - although I should probably dream up one called the Ass Slapper.

The "Big Buzz!"

Served as a shooter

2/3 shooter glass Kahlua
couple (or so) drops of Midori
couple (or so) drops of Cointreau
Float Bailey's Irish Cream on top

Mmmm. Yummy.

The Doesn't Know Shit About Mixed Drinks

In a big tacky (but non-disposable) 12oz plastic glass:

- 1.5 shots Creme de Cassis (or rum, or Kahlua, or any other liquor that you've never had before, but that sounds good)
- Fill with Sprite and ice, stir with a spoon or your finger

Drink on the balcony of a 5th-floor hotel room in the Bahamas while sitting around listening to CDs and reading Naked Lunch because you sunburn way too easily to go to the beach with your friends, and you don't handle heat well anyway.
(note: this is actually fairly decent with Sprite, a bit sweet maybe)

...or how about the Trying To Drink Scotch Because It's the Guy Thing to Do:

In a tumbler:

- fill with ice
- fill with a good, fairly expensive scotch (e.g. Macallan)
- take a medium-sized swallow (be sure not to drop the glass)
- wait for the ice to melt some, stir it around some, sip again (again, don't drop the tumbler)
- repeat above step
- fill the space in the tumbler back up with Coke, stir, and sip it over the course of the evening, or accept that you're a total lightweight when it comes to the hard stuff and just get a damn beer

In the first recipe, I meant that the Creme de Cassis incarnation is fairly decent - they ALL use Sprite! _

The Big Frustrated Cosmo:

Chill a large cocktail glass.
Put ice in a shaker.
Add:
3 shots Absolut
2 shots Cointreau
1 shot Triple Sec
1 oz. cranberry juice
2 tsp lime juice
Cover the shaker and shake it good.
Strain into chilled glass. Garnish with daintily sliced lemon twist. Slam.

The Plum Crazy: 3 oz plum liquer, 1 oz Raspberry Stoli vodka, 1/2 oz Cointreau, 1 oz pineapple juice. Put in cocktail shaker with ice, shake, and strain into a martini glass.

Oh, oh, I just thought of a real one that I make once in a while (sorry to keep spamming the comments)!

Liquid Hard Candy

In a largish class

- 1:2 ratio of butterscotch schnapps and Coke
- a few ice cubes on top
- stir thoroughly

Drink in gulps while watching a movie at home with your spouse, who will get totally grossed out at your freakish sweet tooth - ignore her/him, they don't understand that you don't like watery fruit-flavored drinks _

The Notorious B.L.O.G. (Black licorice on ginger ale)

Rocks Glass w/ice cubes
fill half glass with gingerale
float 1oz. Sambuca Romana (black) on top

Enjoy!

Wild Bill Margaritas

In blender, mix strawberry, blue, or regular margarita mix and ice. Mix to consistancy of a Slushie.
Spit on margarita glass rims to moisten and dip into salt to lightly coat.
Pour Margarita mix into glasses and pass them out to your friends.

The most important part: drink tequila from bottle you are hoarding for yourself.

Wild Irish Meep:

One pint of Murphy's Irish Stout
One shot of Jameson's Irish Whiskey

Keep in separate glasses. Sip the whiskey after every gulp of beer.

Mmmmm.

Chrees' Caribbean Crush
(stolen shamelessly from an online bartending guide some time back, but have since lost the link)

Equal parts sweet vermouth and gin, half-parts blue curacao and lemon juice. Shake with ice, pour in glass, top with soda water.

Planet Puck Purple Jesus

2 gallons of grain alcohol
2 gallons of grape juice
some ice if you can get it

Pour ingredients in to an old fashioned galvanized wash-tub
Serve in army canteen-cups

Perfect Gallows Marguerita?

1. Can of frozen Bacardi Marg mix
Put it in blender
2. Fill remainder with ice
3. Fill empty can with Gold tequila
4. Pour over ice
5. Pour in some Cointreau
6. Pour in some Medori melon liquor
7. Wheech till liquid
8. Hang out-back, in sun, with book.

But you're sick of Tequila, right?

Then whisky - Macallan or Glen Livet - absolutely no ice and no damned water.

Oh, No!

1 shot Bacardi O, iced and poured back into shot glass.
1 wedge lemon, dipped in sugar.

Shoot the shot. Bite the lemon. Oh, no! I think I need another...

An Oxymoronic Sour Apple Martini

Into shaker with ice add:
2 parts vodka
1 part DeKupers Apple Pucker
1 splash sour mix

Shake, strain into martini glass, garnish with apple slice. Drink. Repeat.

The "why my blog sucks before 11 AM":

1 Maker's on the rocks
1 budweiser
repeat as necessary.

Barbtini
4 parts gin
1 part extra dry vermouth
2 olives
1 lemon slice

Take martini glass and cover the rim with lemon juice. Shake gin, vermouth, and a splash of olive juice in a mixer with ice. Don't over shake Pour in martini glass and enjoy.

Its strong and tart and a little dirty.

The Interrobang: Exactly like a Long Island Iced Tea, except you use Rum 151.

Mix, drink, repeat until you wake up on a North Korean fishing boat with only your underwear and your left sock.

The Swirlspice:

In a highball, over ice
2 shots Captain Morgan
2 shots Kahlua
1 oz. cream
Coke to taste

(aka a Colorado Bulldog, but with CM instead of vodka)
(you can stir it up or not, it's good either way)

get a big glass
file it with equal portions of every type of liquid that has alchol (rum, vodka, budwiser, ny-quil) stir, server over ice and enjoy
the mr. lawson-kicked-your-ass special

V-O-C-C-D
Vodka-Orange-Chocolate-Coffee-Drink!
It contains: One ounce of chocolate, orange juice, coffee, and vodka each.

I'm drinking something I made up just now:

fizzy lemonade
orange juice
vodka
ice

Ooh, I like this game. I need to think on this. Otherwise, at this point, I'll say that the "Inside Gretchen's Head" drink is anything that you pour into your mouth.

Cuz then it will be in your head... see how easy that is? Equal opportunity imbibation. (Is that a word?)

You're very welcome. :)

..the rat's ass..

just. plain. coffee.

i be the designated driver :)