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morford moments

From now on I will just give you the readers's digest version of Morford's column instead of wasting my time and yours by reprinting his juvenile prose.

Today's column, in two sentences:

Bush would be a better president if Monica Lewinsky was going down on him.
Clinton was a great president because he's a sex addict.

See, now you don't even have to read it or try to decipher it. It only took a short recap to reiterate the well known fact that Mark Morford is living in an alternate reality.


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» I suppose there are worse things to be known for, eh? from The People's Republic of Seabrook
Come Back, Clinton Sex Nation: Is the country better off with a president who actually has an active libido? Hell yes. (stolen from Michele) I'm not a huge fan of Mark Morford, but I think he might be on to something here, even if Michele doesn't think... [Read More]


See, this is why I said you shouldn't quit reading Morford. :) You've made my life easier by your summary. Ahhhh.

Pop-psych and its most banal.

err, at its most banal...

Morford's an idiot, obviously.

Of course I would like to point out that being a sex addict was irrelevent to Clinton's performance as a president or would have been if the Republicans hadn't dragged the country down into a full blown Spanish Inquisition... You don't mean to imply that you supported that obscene circus do you?

Wow! I still remember the thumbscrews, the public flayings, the auto-da-fés, the burnings at the stake... the smoke rose above Washington for miles! I still have the scars from having to perform a penitient's crawl all the way up Biscayne Boulevard.


Whew! That sucked. I'm so glad that in my world the "Clinton investigation, perjury, and impeachment threat" yielded no more than an amusing farce that entertained us on tv and didn't so much as put a dent in Bubba's ego. And I do recall, he served his two allotted terms in their entirety and even now we can't even seem to quit talking about him. Yeah, some "inquisition." We even broke out the comfy chair!

This is the letter I sent to Moford after reading the column in question:

Mr. Moford,
I don't tend to swear when countering the opinions of people with whom I disagree, but in your case I'll make an exception. You. Are. A. Fucking. Moron.
I feel somewhat better.
I really dislike phrases like "you must, with all your juicy energetic sexualized might, work day and night with your body and your mind and your lover's tongue to counter such bilious anti-sexual attitudes, such asexual tyranny? Damn straight." You self-important prick. Telling everyone what they "must" do. And you accuse conservatives of being pseudo-fascists. What a load of bullshit.
The world would be a better place if, instead of your column, you just wiped your ass with a piece of paper and submitted the result for publication.
In closing, please just fuck off.

love and kisses,
Sean C. Moore

According to Morford, even a rapist can be charming if he's a liberal rapist.

Andrea> Wow! I still remember the thumbscrews, the public flayings, the auto-da-fés, the burnings at the stake...

Hey, that auto-da-fey will go all the way :) and the Inquisition was quite a show ;)

At least they didn't send in the nuns :)

Funny, I DO remember Keneth Star massively abusing his power. And if Bob Barrs of the world failed to turn the US into another Taliban stronghold it wasn't for lack of trying.

Andrea may find massive abuse of police power and puritan hysteria funny, but I don't.

Wow! I had no idea Bob Barr was a muslim! Ya learn something new every. single. day.

Matt over at It Could Be Better has had a Morford Watch for several months. Obviously this guy presents plenty of fodder for intelligent folks to go after...

You just know that if Bill and Hillary were still in the White House today, the newest reality show on Fox would be "Who's Clinton Fucking Today?" Pick a Clinton, any Clinton, niether one of them can keep their dick in their pants.

Linda Tripp was just pissed off that she turned out to be the one woman in America ugly enough for Clinton to say no to.

Oh please, Joshua. Stick a sock in the dramatics. And for your information, I voted for Clinton twice, and thought the whole dog-and-penis show was annoying. It could all have been cleared up if Clinton had just come clean, but he couldn't resist leading the Repubs, so desperate to get something on Slick Willy, on a fine dance. If you ask me he was the one who abused his power -- by wasting it on his stupid mess-with-the-Republicans-heads fun and games. And they fell for it, the stupid pols. He got to them -- just like Ken Starr apparently got to you. You sound just like the hysterical Republicans from back then: "Inquisition!" "Abuse of power!" "Awk! Awk! Awk!"

So Clinton fucked around? At least while he was fucking interns, he wasn't fucking the country's economy, or screwing our international relationships, or trying to do any country up the ass that dares to disagree with him.

Bwahahaahahaaa! Oh, Ken, that's so funny. I spewed coffee all over my keyboard. I love the irony in the phrase "trying to do any country up the ass that dares to disagree with him" -- tee hee hee.

Oh wait -- you were serious? In that case, go immediately to the Idiot Store and buy an ass hat. Put it on your head. There.


ANDREA!!! I just spewed another keyboard....that is the best effing retort of the week.

Andrea: Hmm, you think Clinton was messing with the Republicans to make them more hysterical? I never thought of that. Maybe the story about the cigar was a ploy :b