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for the birds part 2: Isn't it ironic?

No less than ten minutes after I posted that entry about killing all the birds in my yard, I walked outside the courthouse for some fresh air.

And there was a pigeon. With a broken wing. He was hobbling around, tilting his head quizzically at me. Why can't I fly anymore? Can you please help me? Yes, that's what he was saying, I know it.

Now I feel guilty about wanting to kill the birds because here before me is this sad, dying creature who wants nothing more than to be able to fly again and possibly attend bird bachelor parties.

So Bonnie and spot a court officer in the parking lot.

Hey, can you help out this bird?
Sure, I'll go find a cat.

Ha ha. So we go inside and tell the court officers at the desk about the bird. I implore them to shoot the pigeon and put it out of its misery. The one officer gives me a speech, reciting from the court rules and regulation about using a firearm to harm an animal, which you can't do unless said animal (that includes birds) is putting a human being in imminent danger.

He tried to peck me, I swear.
A bird with a broken wing trying to peck you while you're standing ten feet away from him does not count as imminent danger.

We ask the other officer to go save the bird.
He says he will just kick it a few times and it will be dead soon enough.

He goes out and shoves his foot toward the pigeon. The bird takes off, broken wing and all, but falls down almost immediately, on top of a clerk who was sitting on the bench having a cigarette.

Imminent danger! I cry.
Not quite.

So now I'll be sitting here all day thinking of that poor bird just waiting for the hands of death via a stray cat or errant car tire to end it all.

Karma is a bitch.


Great story. Karma definitely can be a bitch.

I have no respect for the PETA crowd, but likewise I'd be very worried about folks who don't feel anything when they see an animal suffering...

The most gruesome thing I have ever had to do is put a bird with a broken neck out of his misery.

It creeps me out to think about it.

like you, i've never quite known what to do when a helpless animal is in such a condition. strangely, i come from a long line who daydream elaborate schemes jus in case they're ever called to handle this situation. their plans usually involve pullies, plywood and TNT.

i only offer this as backstory as to why i laughed at "i'll just kick it a few times." what a novice.

Just this past winter we had a deer run full force into the front door of our place of business (it sounded like someone backed their car into the front door!). Anyway, he broke his neck but wasn't dead yet. It was sad to see because he kept trying to get up to run away.

Somehow he ended up near the street and a police officer came by and put it out of it's misery. It was defnitley an interseting (yet somber) workday.

do you not have a wild animal rescue organization there? i thought all cities had them.

Does a pigeon count as a wild animal? I thought it was just a rat with wings.

it IS a rat with wings.

"Peck this you flying shithouse."

Name the movie, please. Winner get a freshly chewed fingernail.

Ever seen a rat take down a pigeon? shudder

Find an old sheet or coat or pillowcase or some sort of cloth, big enough to cover the bird. A net of some kind is perfect. Get close enough, and throw on top of it and trap it.

Then, fish around underneath with your hand (preferably wearing gloves) and grab the bird. Ring its' neck, or take to the veterinarian, as the spirit moves you. One act is as kind as the other.

And wash your hands fanatically with antibacterial antiviral antiseptic antieverything soap afterwards. It's nice to help the little boid, but not nice to get an infection doing so.

Creepshow? The one where the guy had to walk all the way around the ledge of the tall building? Maybe I'm mixing it up with something else.

Barry. Correct movie scene, wrong title. The movie was a collection of Stephen King tales called Cat's Eyes. Thanks for playing. The fingernail is in the mail.

I can't imagine anyone with a heart seeing that and not doing anything. Either a vet or some organization. To let is just there and suffer, I would feel really ugly. Either one has the guts to kill it or the heart to help it but the cold to do nothing, I don't have.

Okay, boys and girls, what follows is a matter for parental discretion. An ethical hunter is most concerned that the prey not suffer needlessly. "Dear Lord," the Hunter's Prayer goes, "Let me kill clean. And if I can't kill clean, let me miss clean." Some times a small bird, such as a Mourning Dove is fluttering. The ethical hunter quickly picks it up by the head, with the neck between the second and third fingers: SNAP. The bird's head is dropped, the headless body is picked up for the game bag and the sky scanned for the next bird. What did you think happens to wounded game?

I would think a pigeon would be considered wildlife. We have a similar service with our humane society called the Wildlife ARC (Animal Rehabilitation Center). I took a wounded baby sparrow there last summer and they sent me a letter a month later to let me know it had been re-habbed and released back into the wild.

I can't bear to see creatures suffer either.

Ever had pigeons (or sea gulls:) eating off your plate as you just sit there hoping it'll fly away? :) restaurants and cafes have winged regulars too you know :)

i killed three pigeons one summer (hard plastic pipe,steel pipe,and my feet) but the manager at the place i worked put some bread crumbs outside covered with rat poison :) not a very good idea...

i've spent a good few hours at home thinking of fiendishly evil ways of killing the vermin. one of these days i shall forge my own Pigeon Slayer - which would be a tough nut when it comes to designing it, it'd have to be something like a badminton racket,pizza scrape, and the bats used for spanking bottoms in "dazed and confused". preferably with spikes or something.