The Wachowski Brothers killed the spotted owls!
[Thanks to reader Carey for sending this along and spiking my morning blood pressure]
Meet Jennifer Horton. Jennifer is an idealist and college student in Georgia. Jennifer would like us all to stop going to movies and feed the world's hungry instead.
Rather than going to see "The Matrix Reloaded," "Daddy Day Care," "Down with Love" or one of the other many movies playing, people could instead donate their money to charity and make a huge impact.
See, Jennifer is upset that movies cost so much to make. She thinks the money could be better spent by feeding starving children in Africa or saving the rainforests or keeping the spotted horny owl from extinction.
While I feel bad about the trees and the kids and the owls and the homeless, I don't feel bad enough to forego entertainment in order to save the world.
I work hard for my money. Unlike that guy who sits in front of 7-11 every day, bumming cigarettes and asking for handouts, I go to work. I earn my living. I pay my taxes and contribute to society. I'll be damned if I am going to give up a night of escape in a movie theater so that guy can eat his next meal.
My eight bucks is not going to save the rainforest. I'm sorry for the butterflies that flap their wings and make the world go round, but rather than give my money to the Exotic Species of South America foundation, I am saving it for Terminator 3 and its special effects that probably cost millions of dollars to create. I will thank the makers of the movie for their fine product that enabled me to sit in a darkened theater for a while and not think about the Middle East.
Now, I'm not some anti-entertainment prude; I enjoy watching a well-made movie as much as the next person, but it does disturb me to see so much money invested in crashing a few cars just right when there are children all over the world who go to bed hungry, impoverished Africans without clean water and a multitude of people in Third-World countries suffering from disease.
Jen's idealism, charming in an "I'm so naive" kind of way, is also shortsighted. The hungry and impoverished in third world countries are that way because they have corrupt leaders. No matter how many movies you give up, no matter how many dollar bills you crumble into a ball and throw at those countries, those people will still be impoverished because their leaders will eat the money before they let it get to hands that will feed the poor.
See, it's not really Jen's idea to bring the world to greener pastures that bothers me. It's the fact that, like a true socialist, she wants to take away from those who have and spend it on those who don't.
Here is the most revealing passage, the way you can tell Jen is on the road to true moonbat stardom:
So the next time you head out to the movies, donate a few dollars to an important cause. That way, when you're sitting in the theater, hand in a bucket of buttered popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, you can rest easy and lose yourself in the state-of-the-art surround sound because you know you've done your small part to offset all the useless two-mile-loop freeways in the world.
Oh, I get it now! It's all about appeasing your own sense of guilt for having more than other people. In stunning leftish fashion, Jen gets to the heart of what her kind are all about: Self. They don't care about anyone's freedom or a country's food shortage. They just care about making themselves feel good.
Stage a protest and you can go home and rest in peace.
Stage a sit-in and you can read that book without your guilt haunting you.
Make a protest sign and you can go to bed with a smile on your face.
Nevermind if all your protests and idealism and petty donations don't amount to a hill of beans in the long run. As long as you did your part, no matter how small, you have appeased the flames of guilt in your soul with the sacrifice of your virgin humanitarianism.
I think I'll go see two movies this weeknd. Just to spite her.