conversation with a cable modem
It started with a Page Not Found error when I went to Google..
I tried a different page. Same message. That could only mean one thing.
I looked hesitantly toward the cable modem. Sure enough, there was that sinister green light winking at me like an evil eye.
Please, I admonished it. Please work.
It just winked and winked. I think it laughed. In fact, I know it laughed.
Just a few more minutes, please, I begged.
Hey, it said, I'm just trying to help you.
Help me? By denying me the very blood that surges through my veins?
Man, you need some serious help.
Five more minutes.
You have things to do today. Get off your ass.
Hey, you're not my mother!
You've got to pick up dresses, go to the bank, get your son a haircut. And for crying out loud, take a freaking shower already!
You may want to watch how you talk to me.
I'll make you a deal. If I go out and do all those things, will you work again when I get home?
The wink became lecherous.
What do you want from me?
Maybe you could just flash me or something?
Hey, modems have needs, too. Come on, show me your tits.
I look longingly at the 401 error on moveably type page. I look at my notes in front of me, all the things I wanted to write about today. I realize how far behind I'll be on my blog reading. And I need to read Achewood.
I stand up and lift my shirt up. The modem is appeased.
I'll be working when you get back.
And it was.