church of the blogosphere bulletin, issue #2: some things just need the explodo
Good evening readers, commenters and trolls. Oh, and to the person who came here looking for "my girl makes me strip for her friends," you are welcome as well. Now, strip.
While you are all staring at the funny-looking naked guy, I will go through this week's bulletin.
First, I would like to make a special announcement thank Meryl of meryl.net for not only answering Natalie's question this morning, but generously allowing Natalie to email her with any future questions she has as she learns more about ASL and working with the deaf.
[please note that all members of the congregation who are on blogspot are not linked by their permas, so to speak]
Frank would like to announce that he is the funniest person in the blogosphere. Perhaps Frank would like to come up here and deliver the sermon today, then? We'll see how funny he is when he is standing in front of a bunch of people with no sense of humor. I'm looking at you, trolls.
Kevin has taken on one of our own, Mr. Acidman. Yours truly will not comment on this, as it would violate one of my golden rules. However, you can discuss this with Kevin as you wish when he is interviewing you, should you be into being interviewed by him. His new idea is all about having people whore a particular post of theirs. Hey, sounds familiar.....
Ginger the Crispy Duck has reminded me of a word I would like to use more often while I am at the pulpit (Am I close to being sacreligious yet?): douche bag. Even better, she uses it to describe the Third-Eye Blind assbag.
Rossi, in a bit of self-discovery, would like everyone to know that she is "overwhelmingly scintillating in an odd self-deprecating but still illuminating way," but anyone who reads her knew that already. Especially if you read her memoirs.
Jane Finch (not Caruso), one half of the morphed prom king/queen, is coming to America. She is going to spend her hard earned Canadian dollars here, so please don't arrest her as an ememy of the state. We don't have many Canadians in this congregation and we like to appear multicultural so we can get government grants.
The other half of the duo, Jay Caruso, did not ask to be mentioned in the bulletin but, as editor, I took the liberty of doing so. Why? Because he talks about the Yankees, the Official Baseball Team of the Church of the Blogosphere.
Natalie is just one among many in our fold who has moved recently. Please adjust your links. Tracy has also moved, but in the physical, not virtual sense. And she's tired, damn it. Daria is another mover and shaker, dropping her raspberry beret for a bitchy new title.
Speaking of moving, it is with great pleasure I bring you the news that I have convinced Dr. Frank to move in with me. Here. His blog, I mean. Look for news on this front early next week.
A Gaggle of Girls and One Guy will become a Gaggle of Guys while the Girls vacation. Feel free to drop by on Friday night. I hear there is going to be an open house party, with strippers and a keg. Which are the staples of a good party around here.
It seems two of our brothers are at complete odds. MT wants to make the blogosphere smaller, one pound at a time, but Doggerel Pundit wants to make us eat! In verse!Which road will you choose, oh bloggers?
One of our members has the ability to channel others! Hallelujah! Watch as Bill speaks in the tongue of Mike Barnacle!
Today's first basket collection will be for Chuck Pierce's ring.
And in other news, Andy is still an ass. I say that with love. Tough love.
I would also like you to welcome a new member to my blogroll, Collinazation. Sample: So here I am, 22 years old with the house to myself for 10 days, and a huge bag of frozen peas covering my face. Everyone say welcome to John and his bag o' peas!
Please note that Mean Mr. Mustard is NOT a monkey that craps on the keyboard. Not by a longshot.
A special bulletin link for Mike of Nasty Bastard, who had the funniest line ever for a caption on yesterday's Hilary picture (You need to be familiar with Seinfeld to get it, though).
"Some things just need the explodo." And that, my friends, is now the new motto of our lovely church.
You may now kneel and face the photo of Lileks (not the one where he is dressed as John Wayne Gacy, though) and recite the blogger's prayer:
may your links be plentiful
may your trolls fall silent
and may you one day know the glory
of the instalanche