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is that guy hot or not?

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say "If I were gay or a girl I'd do him," in reference to another guy, I'd have a couple of nickels. Most of the time I've heard that phrase it was reference to Mike Patton. Today, Treacher said it about Tim Blair.

It takes a special kind of man to say something like that. Women, they do it all the time. We're not afraid to admit that other girls are sexy. We don't even qualify it by saying "if I was a guy...," we just say "Man, I'd do her in a minute."

What are you guys so hung up about that you can't say "Holy shit, that guy is hot!"?

I'm going to triple-dog-dare you men. Come on, don't be afraid. It's just me you're talking to. There has to be at least one guy in this world besides yourself that you find to be really good looking or sexy.

Hey, you gay guys can't answer! This is for straight men only.

Ok, fine. You can answer, too.

There better be at least one brave soul to comment before I get home from work.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference is that guy hot or not?:

» Hot Guy on Guy Action! from Interrobang
Michele and her commenters go into great detail about why straight men are so reluctant to admit other men are hot. Not that I have such problems, of course. In any event, just a quick PSA. Even when I get... [Read More]


Hell, I got nothing to hide! How about Tom Selleck. I mean, seriously!!?? My wife could join in too!

I have a cousin who just left her husband - which none of us understand... the man is HOT, has a body, personality, and attitude that is VERY attractive. If I was a female - all you you would see would be a flash....

I've never really had a straight-guy problem with this. Bruce Greenwood, Antonio Banderas, and Aaron Eckhart are all good-looking men. So are Jude Law and Orlando Bloom if you're into more feminine features.

Ashton Kucher is hot.

This doesn't feel right.


The bare-assed truth is that I seem to be genetically incapable of telling when a guy is good-looking. Every time I point out some guy to my wife and said "Do you think he's cute?" she looks at me like I'm insane. "HIM?!?!"
I guess on the bell-curve of heterosexuality, I'm an outrider on the "totally" side. Guys just look like...guys...to me. I can't even appreciate a handsome guy the way I'd admire a nice car. Although sometimes I'll look at a guy and think "I wish I looked like that." (Like Mel Gibson!)
I like all kinds of women, though! (_)

I had a contest with a friend of mine in college to see who could have sex with Trent Reznor first. He used to look better than he does these days, but we've all gained some weight.

It looks like she came closer to winning than I ever did, though...

And here I was guessing that the most you would get is "I can see why women are attracted to him." Which is pretty much as far as I'd be able to go along those lines (and no, I don't know why).

I have to agree with Toren here. I just don't think my guydar is all that fine tuned. A guy is a guy is a guy. That said, however, I do recall saying from time to time, "I'll bet that guy gets laid a lot." Usually I'm referring to a rich guy, or a guy with an expensive car, or Peter North or Ron Jeremy.

Who knew it was so easy to get people to give you blackmail material? ;)

(Yes I'm kidding)

Well... I think that even if I wasn't gay I would still find Bruce Springsteen a very handsome, sexy guy...

LMAO! I'm sending Greg over for this one.

I believe that all women are inherently bisexual, and that they only hook up with guys out of preservation of the species.

Women's bodies are sexy. Women know it, men know it. They are the attractor of the species (as opposed to birds, where the male is the 'pretty' one.)

The human male body, on the other hand, is utilitarian and repugnant. When you finally do see what that is halfway 'attractive' their egomaniacal personality kicks in. Or their gay.

I've never been ashamed to admit having a hot-hot man-crush on Matt Skiba of the Alkaline Trio.

That should read:

"When you finally do see one that is halfway 'attractive' their egomaniacal personality kicks in. Or they're gay.

(Ack, sorry, that link shoulda been a target=blank kinda thing. My bad.)

(I hate it when people say "my bad.")

Hell, I have no problem saying it...never have.
It's a matter of being secure in your sexual identity and masculinity.

Therein is the problem for some guys.
They feel that if they admit a guy is attractive, they'll be thought of as queer, gay, homo...whatever derogatory term you can think of..it's runing through their mind.

More often then not, guys I know who are like this also think they are God's gift to women, think very much of themselves and boast about their sexual exploits.

They have to overcompensate for their own insecurities.

I'm not afraid to say it.
I'd do Mel Gibson.
Joe Bonamassa, the blues singer and his bassist, Eric.
I do em both. Separately. Together.

Mel Gibson.

A man's man. And he has a great ass.

I dunno if i believe that the guys who say they just can't tell if a guy is good looking really aren't struck by any other guy's appearance. I think it's been so unacceptable for so long that some people simply won't allow themselves to make that observation.

Cliché as it is, Brad Pitt's hot... especially if you put him next to some big, beefy, steroid infused guy. Prolly the perfect physique.

Ravenwood, you're so full of shit, your eyes are brown.

I'm another person with the same problem as Toren - I just plain don't understand what's supposed to be attractive in a guy besides a lack of obvious defects. Like that perma-stubble look - that's supposed to be attractive? Or the crewcut-and-vacant-grin look? Or "bishonen" in anime who just look creepily girly and somewhat undead to me? Heck, my wife keeps insisting that I'm attractive despite my weight problem and unruly hair... ~_^

But then, I'm mystified by a lot of what's supposed to be attractive in women (I can spot silicone right away and it makes me nauseous) as well. I guess I just have very particular tastes. _

I was going to say I agreed with Toren, but actually I am closer to Steve's outlook. Sometimes I have no clue when a man is good looking or not, but sometimes I find myself saying "yeah, I can understand that." I certainly can see why all the gals think Orlando Bloom as Legolas is gorgeous, but I think I'd agree more with those who find Whassname as Aragorn hunky. Then there's my friend Paul, the "pervy hobbit fancier," who is crazy about Elijah Wood. And I can understand that; he's "pretty" for a guy. But I digress. For my part, I'll take Miranda Otto any day.

Mostly I don't notice other guys as anything but barely distinguishable from each other, whereas most every female stands out memorably to me, attractive or not.

Yeah, Mel Gibson is pretty hot. Johnny Depp is hot, too. Mmmm, let's see--and Val Kilmer.

Okay, that's it for me.

Now can we talk about boobs? Girl boobs that is?

Patrick Warburton. Something about him.

And to answer your original question, when a guy uses the word "hot," it is, 98% of the time, meant to convey a ranking on the sexual scale. Guys don't usually use "hot" to talk about another guy because that's a "reserved word" in the guy programming language.

I can usually tell when a guy is a handsome specimen of Homo sapiens, like being able to identify a good-looking horse, but I just can't think about having sex with another guy. It feels wrong in a way that few other thoughts do.

The closest I've ever come to the "if I were a girl" assessment was in a conversation with my (then) six-year-old nephew, trying to define the word handsome. He already understood about girls being pretty, but was having trouble with the idea of guys being handsome. (Anecdotal evidence that this attitude is present right out of the box, so to speak.) (And no, I didn't even try to deal with the "if I were gay" option.)

I agree with the stereotype that women and girls generally seem much more comfortable with same-sex physical contact, whether or not it's in a sexual context. Men find gay romances, like in the movies, distasteful, even disgusting, while women find lesbian romance odd to distasteful. Oddly, though, I've also observed that while guys find lesbian romance titillating, women often seem to find gay romance ... romantic, even kind of cute, but not necessarily sexy. (Of course, these are broad generalizations based on my personal contacts. YMMV.)

I know what happens inside my head when I look at girls, and what happens when I look at guys. It's like the difference between what happens in my mouth when I taste mangoes, and when I taste olives. (I have no idea what people that like olives taste; nobody could like the taste I experience.)

I have no problems commenting on the "hot-ness" of other guys. I just have problems with the stupid looks this gets me from people. I always thought Sean Connery was a real looker. Or Harrison Ford. I think a lot of people (especially guys) have trouble separating "finding someone attractive" and "being attracted to them".

shrug Their loss. I'm not gay, but I can still appreciate Michaelangelo's David.

Cripes. what've you started here Michelle? You've outed like half the commentators! (Whatup with Greg...hope he's not married, his wife's gonna be so surprised some day.) The only guys who I know who've ever admitted they'd do a guy...even on a desert island...are totally gay.

Jeez, I wouldn't even do Michelle Pfieffer if she had a big zit on her nose...much less do a guy. Guys simply aren't hot. Unless, of course, Mel had Michelle's face, Rene Russo's body and...no zit

Context, please, context!

i wonder how many men have this conversation with their buddies?

Isn't it just that power relationships, dominance and submission and sex roles and such like, are heavily bound up in human (primate?...mammalian?) sexuality? There might be a given percentage of the male population who think about this stuff with no discomfort, but I do not believe it is the majority.

I hope, however, that the majority of the female population thinks about this stuff, 'cause I want to live in 'Letters To Penthouse Land' sooooo badly.

It's always cracked me up how you'll ask a guy if some other guy is cute or good looking or whatever and they'll say, "I don't know!!! I'm a guy!"

How can you not KNOW if he's good looking or not?

I've often wondered what it would be like to be just as uninterested in female beauty as I am in male beauty. Guys, imagine being able to walk down the sidewalk, minding your own business, and here comes walking by with no clothes on. What if your only reaction was something like, "She's going to catch a cold!", or "She's going to get arrested!", or "Where's the camera?" Imagine how much more power you would have over your life. If you could take a pill that would cause this change in you, wouldn't you do it? Even temporarily?

Not to self: don't use iso latin character 60 in comments.

The woman walking past is [insert female sex icon here]

For me, being secure in my sexual identity has nothing to do with it. I don't think I care much what my orientation is. I think that if I ever met a guy I found sexually attractive, I'd be willing. But in fifty years, that's never happened, and I've had opportunities.

See my mangoes v. olives comment. I'm not at all embarrassed to admit I love mangoes, and that to me, olives are disgusting. I have no control over that preference, either. (I can choose to eat olives, if for some reason there's a strong social pressure to do so, but I sure don't like doing it, and I have no control over that whatsoever.)

Bruce Springsteen??? BLEUUCCCHHHH.

Men have some strange taste in men.

Sean Connery is on my "To Do" List. Kim and I created our before marriage lists. Connery is number one on mine. (He's also number 2 through 10.)

Antonio Banderas: I'd let him blow me---
I would so fuck Vin Diesel---
And Dave Letterman, just because he's funny

Damn straight we can comment. I personally want to be in a sandwich between Sam Elliot and Goldberg. And Sam better have the mustache cookin', because I've got something that wants to ride it.


Oh, and I have a straight friend that would do Sean Connery in a heartbeat if he had the chance.

Rumor has it that Jim Treacher is a dead ringer for Jude Law. Sexy!

Neil Fallon! Really, I don't know.

Todd has been known to fight me for rights to Matthew McConaughey...

Mike, bad news... I used to typeset Penthouse, and--wait for it--the letters are fake.

One of the funniest nights was the one when we got the raw copy instead of retyped letters, because Penthouse was running WAY late. They were on doctor's and lawyer's stationery, among others. With real names and addresses visible. Oh, the blackmail I could have done...

Anyway, the lead letter in Penthouse used to pay five hundred bucks. You can find the details in places like Writer's Digest.

My opinion: 98% of the letters are false. And more than half of them are written by drunken college boys.

I know this is obvious but......

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck

and Jay and Silent Bob

When I say a another guy is good-looking, it means, roughly, that I wish that I looked like that guy. Case in point: Eric Close, late of "Now & Again."

That waifish blond elf in LOTR is a GUY?

Good grief. He's so pretty, I'D fuck him.

Hell, I don't even find most WOMEN attractive anymore -- might as well do a guy.


I was named after Sean Connery, so I always feel kind of incestuous going bananas over him, as in when he gets out of bed shirtless in Marnie. Yow!

And I found Dave Culp's comment surprising, in that it hadn't come up earlier:

"What if your only reaction was something like, 'She's going to catch a cold!', Imagine how much more power you would have over your life."

I wouldn't copulate with a woman for money, but I find women incredibly sexually powerful and exciting (I know that's regarded as a typical gay thing). Seeing Tippi Hedren looking all radiant in her slip only makes me hotter for Sean Connery, it is true, but it isn't the kind of thing I just can look at inertly. Finding half the population entirely unstimulating is something I can't imagine at all.

I'm going to reveal my petty nature here. When I meet a really good-looking man, my main reaction is envy of the sexual opportunities he has. Unless he's a really nice guy I'm probably going to dislike him. I suppose it's a male rivalry thing.

Sting, David Boreanaz.
Hell, I do community theater, which for a guy is almost like outing oneself!

I've never gotten the "rugged" look that women find attractive, though. What's up with that? "Hey, that guy looks like he kissed a chainsaw. I want his child!"

When Bugs Bunny dressed up as the girl bunny...am I allowed to say that? Or is that more of a cross-dressing/tranny thing and not so much a blatantly homosexual atttraction thing?

Raul Julia.....it was the eyes....you saw him as Gomez and you just knew......

Tim Curry's got it too.

Men feel odd thinking of other men as attractive or sexy. It's the inevitable train of thought that follows--and questioning whether they'd want to be on top....or someplace else.

But, while they won't say it, if you watch them, you can see who they think is sexy because they look, just like women look at attracive men.

Sexy? Bowie, Depp, there's something about that guy that played Nightcrawler.

I can't speak for everyone but I think that most men, rather than thinking, "that guy is really hot", have thoughts like, "if I looked like that, I would get laid a whole lot more". Can I get a witness?

Absolutely Mike. See my comment above. The only difference is that I KNOW I would get laid a whole lot more.

The reason I hesitate to call another man "hot" is because that word implies sexual attraction. If I don't have sexual attraction towards them, it doesn't seem to make sense to use a word that implies that I do.

That said, I have no problem saying that a man is attractive or any other adjective that says I find them to be a beautiful specimen of humanity, bordering on art. Examples: Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. Another example I haven't seen anyone mention: Denzell. Damn. Gay or not you have to admit that he is flat out gor-geous.

Robert Heinlein's line was something like, "Given a choice between Adonis and a homely looking woman...I'll take the woman."

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

Warning: blatant unsupportable stereotypes to follow.

Straight men don't say that other men are hot because they don't find other men hot. "Hot" as someone said above implies f*ckability. As difficult as this is for my one gay friend to understand, straight men find the idea of sex with other men repulsive.

But women are different. They can comment on the hotness (f*ckability) of other women because deep down they actually want to engage in lesbian sex, preferrably with straight men like me watching.

You know, if I'd said, "If I was 10 feet tall I'd play in the NBA," I don't think anybody'd be asking for my autograph...

jack, i can't believe you said that. i thought i was the only person on earth who thought raul julia was sexy. not attractive, necessarily, but sexy as hell.

i really was trying to avoid commenting on this post...

Not me - no way, but I will take a look at the women that Sean Kinsell wants to throw back.

John, believe it or not, Greg's doing just fine in that guy-girl sex department. There are no worries....I'm the one that sent him here!

David - Eric Close is ........YUM! Okay. I'll share him with you.

and the rest of us are jealous that you have a sexually secure man, joanie.

I agree with Mike and David: homosocial gaze, for me, is more aspirational than sexual.

And I might think a guy is hot, but I wouldn't say it with a loud 'holy shit!' in public. Some macho jerk might overhear and take it upon himself to 'educate' me in the ways of Being a Real Man ;) Most men would snicker or sneer hearing that, or worse; but a hunkier guy might look too scary for them to bother.

OK then, privately: Orlando Bloom is hot. Phew!

As cliche` as this is, Brad Pitt is a pretty hot guy. And hands down, Sebastian Bach is the prettiest man in existence. He doesn't count, though, because he's basically prettier than most girls.

Also, while he's in no way hot, Bob Sapp can have sex with me if he wants to, only because there isn't a goddamned thing I could do to stop him.

e-mail me. Want to network some local gay men can hook up at no cost in NorthWestern Washington State (Bellingham northwards.


matt skiba from alkaline trio
davey havok of AFI
Johnny Depp

uh yeah Matt Skiba is so freaking hott... Davey is SOOOO NOT, Maybe Jade Puget [also from AFI] is but ewww not Davey... and Johnny Depp is ok... im bi so i dont know... Brad Pitt is not hott... ps. i have no idea why im writing this...