« the cow says chug! | Main | would you like to play a game? »

an ode to love

My sister's wedding is fast approaching - 18 days and counting. As her maid of honor, it is my duty to perform certain tasks. One of those tasks is to make a toast to the bride and groom at the reception.

I want to say something memorable, yet something that speaks of Rob and Lisa's love for each other; something that will capture the essence of their 14 year relationship and encapsulate it in words that the guests at the wedding reception will not only remember for a long time, but will make them realize the true meaning of what Lisa and Rob mean to each other.

Tall order, I know. But I think I've got. I will not write my own words because they cannot capture what I am going for. Instead, I will read these song lyrics, which define their courtship better than I could ever express. Have a tissue ready, folks.

Nerf Herder, Pantera Fans In Love

♥ Dedicated to Lisa and Rob ♥


I bleached my hair just like Vince Neil
Then you made me cut it like James Hetfield
We're gonna put an end to alternative rock
We'll find a way to make the Cranberries stop
We went to Sears for pictures at Christmastime
But they wouldn't let us make the metal sign
No they wouldn't let us make the metal sign

I'll bring the wine you bring the bread and cheese
It's hard to eat when you're headbanging
Makin' out in the middle of the pit
How come Slayer doesn't sing about this
If anything comes between you and me
Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet
We are Pantera fans in love

What's with these punk rock nerds, they can't even sing
I wish we'd never heard of The Offspring
A candlelit dinner, now we're holding hands
I taught you how to draw your first pentagram
We went miniature golfing but we didn't get far
Because we used the clubs to play air guitar
Oh we used the clubs to play air guitar now

I'll bring the wine you bring the bread and cheese
It's hard to eat when you're headbanging
Makin' out in the middle of the pit
How come Slayer doesn't sing about this
If anything comes between you and me
Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet
We are Pantera fans in love
We are we are Pantera fans in love

We saw Ozzy on our first date
Our special song is Crazy Train
Makin' out in the middle of the pit
How come Slayer doesn't sing about this
If anything comes between you and me
Then heavy metal heaven, that's where we'll meet
We are Metallica fans
We are Megadeth fans
We are Manowar fans in love
We are Pantera fans in love

Comments

RAWK.

Ok, call me silly, but after 14 years, I'd just say: ABOUT DAMN TIME!

HOWEVER...yours is nice too :-P

i think you should read it very slowly and seriously, wiping away a tear occasionally. everyone but you and she will argue the rest of the night over whether it was skakespeare or the bible.

I'd definitely sing them the song, and thank the groom for finally making an honest woman out of her. ;)

14 years!? I thought my friends were crazy for waiting 9 years. It was hilarious when, just as the priest pronounced them man and wife, you could hear everyone in the congregation mutter "It's about time!" Even they were laughing so hard they could barely kiss.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH AND, HA! I DARE YOU!