« dumb like a moose, dib* | Main | dr. frank's cyber-busking hour returns! »

never enough: more bad movies

I've been reminded of some horrid movies that I left off of the "Enough" post last night. I mean, what kind of worst movie list would be complete without Glitter?

For those who wrote in asking why Showgirls wasn't on the list, it's for a very good reason. While the acting was bad, the plot was thin and the dialogue made me want to go deaf, there were some great soft-core scenes in that movie that makes it worth watching again and again. Same with Crash.

I also hated Welcome to the Dollhouse and just about every fake documentary about small hick towns they show on IFC where the kids are all huffing glue and the parents look like alcoholism wore them down when they were fifteen.

I despised Kids as well as Arthur. In fact, I hate anything with Dudley Moore.

Plan 9 From Outerspace should never, ever be on anyone's worst list just for the cheese factor alone. If it was good enough for MST3K, it's good enough for me.

Oh, how could I possibly forget not only the worst musical ever made, but the worst idea for a movie ever - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band starring The BeeGees. Awful. Just....awful.

As for Doom Generation, I liked it enough that I own it on DVD. I found it disturblingly odd, yet fascinating.

To the person who had the gall to write me to complain that Donnie Darko should be on my worst list, I say you probably would like a movie that co-stars Pauly Shore and Carrot Top.

And just for the record, I liked the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Movie. The first one, at least.


i actually kinda liked crash. i had forgotten about it. but showgirls? "i'm a dancer!" ugh. but then, i liked the talented mr ripley.

Did you ever sit through "Dungeons and Dragons"? Surely one of the worst ever.

So many bad movies...God I miss MST3K

there is a world of difference between bad movies and bad movies we love. i usually apply the 'wwjd'...what would john (waters)do.

Doom Generation is a great movie!

Two more bad movies that are saved by good soft-core:
Wild Things (love the car wash scene)
Two Moon Junction

Hey, why do womyn hate "SHOWGIRLS" so much?

And why did "The Pianst" do so good at the oscars? I was SO bored in the first fifteen minutes of that movie I started rooting for the Nazis. JK,

You rock Michele-

Plan 9 From Outerspace should never, ever be on anyone's worst list just for the cheese factor alone. If it was good enough for MST3K, it's good enough for me.

Plan 9 was never on MST. They said that 1) everybody and his dog knew it was a bad movie, so no point in beating it to death, and 2) some of the movies they did do were worse.

Yeah, I liked Donnie Darko. Now that I think back on it, in some way it's one of my favorite movies. Such a killer little soundtrack, and a groovy plot that makes you want to watch it twice. It was surreal and funny and had so many cool little touches. How could anyone think this was one of the worst movies?

Whoever said Donnie Darko was a bad movie has a small, shriveled-up mind. I was Donnie back in 1988 Virginia. Except for, y'know, the schizophrenia and the six-foot-tall demonic bunny.

And Wild Things was a trashy movie, not a bad movie. Big difference there.

If you only watch the first half hour of Pootie Tang, it's actually not that bad a movie. No worse than Zoolander, certainly.

If you truly want to kill brain cells--"The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh."

I still don't see how any list of the worst movies of all time doesn't include the following two brain melting celluloid disasters:

The Coca Cola Kid and...
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot

The fact that these two movies have actors that I actually like(Eric Roberts, Sylvester Stalone, Estelle Getty) does not prevent them from being crap that isn't even good enough to use as toilet paper.
And they don't have the cool cheesy aspects of Plan Nine From Outer Space going for them. They just stink. So much so that Grease 2 looks like Citizen Kane beside them. Okay, nothing makes that last part true.

Angie is quite right. MST never did "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

They did, however, do "Bride of the Monster", "The Violent Years" and "The Sinister Urge". Three of Ed Wood's masterpieces of crap, all torn to shreds quite handily.

Though they had screwed-up rights for "Bride of the Monster" and could only show it once, I have have it on tape. Neener, neener, neener.

But...but...Sgt. Pepper turned me on to the Beatles in Jr. High. Strange way of getting there, but thankful just the same.

And Strawberry Fields was a babe to an 8th grader in the late 70's...

Showgirls is soooo divine!

Best Moments:

The bit where Nomi [Ms Berkeley] has an ethical dilemma over applying an ice cube to her nipples to make them perky. She feels like a tramp after she's already topless?

The lesbian pash scene between Nomi and Gina Gershon's character. Gina is lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg wearing a cowboy hat when Nomi snogs her for no apparent reason. Wacky.

The "I'm not a stripper, I'm a dancer line!"

The strange fast food bits, Nomi scoffs a hamburger before running blindly into traffic, gets oddly excited over burritos in a mall and hurls french fries about in anger when her suitcases are stolen upon arrival in Vegas. After vomiting over the hood of a Volvo.

Ms Berkeley's alien mutant style "dancing".

When Kyle Maclaclan fucks Nomi in the pool and she thrashes about like a spastic otter while her breasts act as curious flotation devices.

Kyle's pre-pool coitus moonlight butt strut.

More bad movies:

Bloody Sunday: Venice film awards my arse. Jiggly camera bullshit.

Goldmember: When I saw this in a full cinema, there was dead silence throughout.

Ned Kelly. This just came out in Australia and it is vile. Has a very funny bit where a circus lion is shot by the police.

I got nailed for liking Donnie Darko, too. I also like those Asian new-wave horror movies, like "Dark Water," "Ring," and "Uzumaki." I doubt they're bad. Maybe a bit strange and an acquired taste.

My main qualification for a bad movie is whether or not it's boring. "I Heard The Owl Call My Name" is bad in my book because I thought it was skull-numbingly dull. A movie doesn't have to be boring for me to think it's bad, though. I thought "Magnolia" blew chunks. It was chock full of pretentious, self-involved losers and it was depressing as hell. No wonder it won an Oscar.