feeling bad about being right
I've stigmatized my daughter.
Natalie's friend called last week to see if she could go to Adventureland - a smallish theme park about ten miles from here - this Saturday.
I asked the usual questions.
About 12 kids would be going. No, no parents.
I know, she's 13. She's at that age. It's uncool to have parents tagging along everywhere. They want freedom, they want to be on their own.
This is the suburbs, but it's not. It's more like a mini-city, populated with the good, the bad and the ugly. Unfortunately, the bad and the ugly tend to congregate at places like Adventureland.
So I said no.
I've said it time and time again. I'd rather be the parent who says no instead of the parent who says why did I say yes?
Better safe than sorry is not a great consolation to a 13 year old girl who has just been outed as having strict parents.
For once, we are all united on this - me, my husband and my ex-husband. Natalie cannot play us off of each other in order to manipulate a yes answer.
She hates me right now. Her friend - who is not a very good friend at all - gave her grief about it and now they aren't speaking. All the "cool" kids are going and Natalie is not. She seems to have lost this friend, who has now been banned from our home and I am muttering good riddance under my breath. It's a win-win situation for me.
So why do I feel so bad about it?
Nat storms off to her room crying, and I sit here feeling bad that she feels bad and I wonder if I'm holding the leash too tight.