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old posts, fresh pain

My most frequently searched for and read post is this one on God Bless America Day. It has over one hundred comments, which stopped in 2002. However, I still get a ton of email over that one entry. Not a week goes by when I don't get someone writing me - mostly people who want to pray for my soul.

It makes me sad to look at that post. I read through the comments and I realize just how many people stopped coming here some time after September 2002, when I confirmed that I indeed was slapped in the face by reality and thus became a born-again realist and was leaving the liberal life for good. In fact, I had probably been living a lie all those years.

I see the names of people who were my friends. I don't mean casual friends who would come by and comment once a day and maybe send a friendly email once in a while - I mean people who knew my deepest, darkest fears, people who were invited to my wedding or shared their life stories with me.

I miss those people sometimes. I miss the way they made me laugh. I miss their friendship. I regret that those friendships were forged on bonds made not of trust and care, but of politics and beliefs. Had I known that I would be judged by my ideology and not my ability to be a really good friend, I might not have let myself get so close to some of those people to begin with.

It's interesting to note that almost all the people who unceremoniously (or ceremoniously, depending on how you look at it) dumped me for my views on the war are the people who most vocally agreed with me on the linked post. I still feel the same way about the topic today as I did then.

Some of the lost friends said they didn't like the way I started to treat liberals. But I was always bashing PETA. I was always making fun of the tin-foilers at Indymedia. It's only when I said that I thought we were justified in going to war that they hightailed it out of here.

I only bring this all up again because I got another one of those "I used to like you back in the day" emails and it referenced the God Bless America Day entry.

Oh well. All's fair in love and warmongering, I guess. I'm going to stop looking back at any of my entries from before September 2002. Those people who packed their bags and never came back may think I'm a cold-hearted, unfeeling, callous bitch because I was pro-war, but I guess not because their "dear john" emails still hurt.

and this marks this end of Deep Thoughts Week at A Small Victory. Hope you enjoyed it. Come back for Spork of Anger Week, ok?


Its ok, Michelle. We'll still play with you if the cool kids won't...

Well, if it makes any difference, I know you don't know me, but I like you and I don't give a shit whether others classify you as left, right or upside-fucking-down. I kinda have a problem wth those labels anyway. You entertain me, you make me think, you make mw question my own thoughts. And that's enough for me. Are you liberal? Maybe. Are you conservative? Maybe.

That's the beauty.

i’m polishing my spork in anticipation.
and that’s not a euphemism.

Michele, that post rocked!

I hate that anyone gave (or gives) you a minute of grief for speaking your mind.

Want me to snot them or something? I can do it.

Its ok, Michelle. We'll still play with you if the cool kids won't...

Hey! I thought we were the cool kids.

God Bless Michele.

Eewww! Joanie, that's just GROSS...

"Hey! I thought we were the cool kids."

Nah, this is the short bus. We just make the best of it.

Let's face facts here - most bloggers are Ally Sheedy in Breakfast Club.

I understand your situation completely - I'm right there with you. My twin bro & I have gone down completely separate paths in so many ways and I mourn the loss of my travel-mate along my road in life. Sometimes you just prefer not to say anything rather than get into an argument or lose a friend. He & I haven't parted company over our differences but others have. It is said "To thine own self be true" and I believe it. No one ever said doing what you feel is right wouldn't be painful, but it's still sad. I grieve with thee...

I used to work as a web geek for the marketing department of a networking company. The marketing types, in their pearls and suits, stuffed the web people into a small windowless lab, hired only skinny geeks so they could fit as many as possible into that room, and only communicated with us by email. I was shocked to find out that, behind our backs, they referred to us (without irony) as the cool people. After that, I will never know what ‘cool people’ means.

Maybe it just means people who aren’t total jerks. In that case, the anti war crowd is definitely not cool. This was a great post.

i read your site when you were a liberal, and adored you. i admit i was proud to see you come around to the truth giggle but it's always been your talent and sense of humor that brought me here, not your ideology.

and i'm claire from the breakfast club.

I grieve with thee.