sin #3: pride
Continuing with the Seven Sins parade, today's sin is Pride. I wish it was gluttony, because I'm starving.
So, pride. I am not a proud person. I very rarely take pride in my work or accomplishments and will deflect praise with my own criticism or pawn the bulk of the praise off on someone else.
I do have some sense of pride over the sillier things in life. My comic book collection. The fact that I own Killer Klowns From Outer Space on DVD. My knowledge of Air Supply lyrics.
My lack of pride comes from my overwhelming use of another sin - envy. No matter what I write, I still wish I could write like Bill Whittle or be as funny as Treacher or be as verbally brililant as Alan. I envy Melly's beauty and Nancy's self confidence.
When I do take pride in something, it's usuall second hand pride. My daughter makes the scholastic roll, my son makes the all-star team. Those are not my accomplishments. I don't deflect the praise when someone says that DJ is a great third baseman.
When you spend most of your life looking to make others proud, you generally don't spend a lot of time worrying about whether you would be proud or not.
I don't like to boast. When I do, it's generally in a self-depricating manner, like when I say how nice my boobs are. By my saying that I have nice tits, I am saying that the rest of me sucks. That's just the way I work.
No, I'm not this depressed, sad girl with no self-esteem sitting in a corner. I am just shy and uncomfortable under a spotlight. I'm certainly not going to go through the trouble of calling attention to something I did if I don't want other people to do it.
Perhaps I can be proud of the fact that although I yearn to be like some of the people mentioned above, I never went as far as stalking them, kidnapping them and stealing their identities.