Ted, meet chad
The state of Florida is in a bit of a quandry. They don't know what to do with all their hanging chads.
Many election supervisors in Florida's 67 counties want to get rid of the ballots because they take up so much space. Miami-Dade's are in taped-up cardboard boxes stacked to the ceiling of a warehouse, while Palm Beach County's 2000 election records sit on three 5-by-5 foot pallets, each of them 6 feet high.
I have an idea. Let's all chip in a few bucks and purchase the ballots from all the counties. Then we can box them up and send them to Ted Rall. If he's so obsessed by that election and the Florida results, I'm sure he would just love to be gifted with six million ballots that he can count and recount to his heart's content.
If anything, Rall will have six million pieces of paper on which to scrawl his increasingly infantile and unfunny cartoons and columns in which he whines about the 2000 election. He could even make a party out of it and invite Bill Maher and Mark Morford over and they could all have a good cry together over how much better the world was when Clinton was jizzing all over Monica's dress and Rall was sleeping with any woman who would have him and Maher had a tv show on a non-cable network. You know, before the thought police arrived and the world went into lockdown and Saddam the Benevolent was still presiding over that peaceful land Iraq. Ah, the good old days that exist only in the minds of those who think that those six million leftover ballots still have any meaning.
I've got $4.60 and Rall's address. Who's in?
Comments
I'll pitch in $5
Posted by: yvonne | May 1, 2003 11:31 AM
So, you decided to go with my 'Ted Rall Apreciation Day' idea after all.
Posted by: Ravenwood | May 1, 2003 11:38 AM
Hey! That's a much better idea than my "giant bonfire" idea.
Posted by: Andrea Harris | May 1, 2003 11:38 AM
I'll kick in five bucks, but only if we send a really nice card with it. Something personal written by Michele, for instance.
Posted by: zombyboy | May 1, 2003 11:42 AM
I'm out. Not about to spend a dime on that assnugget.
My money's going for bear porn and pie.
Posted by: Keith | May 1, 2003 11:44 AM
I can spare 20. What the hell, I'm feeling generous.
Posted by: SageOne | May 1, 2003 12:06 PM
Uhm, election fraud in Florida is rampant, blatant, not restricted to presidential elections and very serious.
There are lot's of things about the 2000 election that we shouldn't forget.
The supreme court took the bullet to save the republican party from itself, and to prevent a constitutional crisis that could have spiraled out of control since both the congressional Republicans and the Florida republicans were planning on ignoring any count that didn't go their way. The reckless abuse of power involed is a real threat to our country, it's just not as serious a threat as terrorism is so we've swept it under the rug, especially since W's been doing better at sorting priorities than the any Democrat probably would have...
Sorry I'm not with you at all here.
Posted by: Joshua Scholar | May 1, 2003 12:27 PM
Wow, you really don't like that guy much, I gather.
Posted by: Ryan | May 1, 2003 12:31 PM
Um, just how the hell were they going to ingnore the supreme court. Hmm word for the day, Whack job.
Great cause but I am to poor to help. Still saving fo rthe ring. But I will donate the time to help write out the labels for each ballot we send.
Posted by: Chuck | May 1, 2003 12:52 PM
This is such a no-brainer - Florida has documents to dispose of, Hillary has vacation time...
BTW - I love this blog!
Chris G.
Posted by: Chris G. | May 1, 2003 12:52 PM
Hey, Florida could put them up on E-Bay and use the proceeds to fix their voting system. I mean fix as in repair, not... oh nevermind :)
Posted by: Tyler | May 1, 2003 01:03 PM
If there is ever anything that I can do to make Ted Rall's life as miserable as worldly possible, just sign me up. I'm in 100%. I'll even volunteer to lick all the stamps!
Posted by: StumpJumper | May 1, 2003 01:06 PM
Shuck: Um, just how the hell were they going to ingnore the supreme court. Hmm word for the day, Whack job.
The hell I'm going to waste my time and Michele's blog space teaching you law and almost current events. Word for the day:asshole
Posted by: Joshua Scholar | May 1, 2003 01:14 PM
I think we should get former Enron execs to dispose of them
Posted by: emy | May 1, 2003 01:47 PM
Don't forget to invite Eric Alterman and Gloria Allred--they can amuse the other party-goers by competing on using the word "selected" in the most creative ways, and by whining for volume and duration. Fun for all!
Posted by: M. Scott Eiland | May 1, 2003 02:30 PM
Keith, what is "bear porn"??? Please enlighten me.
Josh, you are SO right. Everything that went wrong with the 2000 election can be traced back to Republicans, No Democrats asked for multiple recounts. And everyone knows the Republicans are eeevil.
Thanks for clearing that up.
Posted by: Demosthenes | May 1, 2003 03:46 PM
I gots fitty-five cent and a Snickers wrapper. Will that help?
Posted by: Greg G | May 1, 2003 03:51 PM
Yeah, right, like I'm gonna SUBSIDIZE people's obsession with the past! I say we just tell Ted that if he wants 'em, go get 'em. I sure don't want 'em.
Posted by: Alex Gray | May 1, 2003 04:13 PM
By the way Chuck, that "S" in "shuck" is a typo not sarcasm. I was shocked when I read my posting... After hiting the post button. I've got to learn to proofread.
I spent hundreds of hours arguing about the recount, and I'm not going to waste another minute of my life on it. If you want to know what I said to a google USENET search on my name.
Posted by: Joshua Scholar | May 1, 2003 04:22 PM
I've got fifty cents I found in the couch last night. I'll gladly contribute it to the lofty and noble goal of making Ted Rall's life as miserable as his awful cartoons.
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper
Posted by: Elizabeth | May 2, 2003 09:28 AM
Better yet, let's make Ashcroft count'em. It'll keep him busty and out of our hair.
Posted by: Joseph J. Finn | May 2, 2003 05:13 PM