The New May Day
May Day is celebrated around the world. It is a festival of happiness, joy and the coming of summer...May Day was symbolic of a return to life, of the defeat of the hard winter, with new hopes for good planting and rich harvests.
Oh, wait...
This year May Day has even more significance. Seemingly unrelated to the occasion, the nautical distress call "Mayday!" comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning "help me" - and is pronounced "mayday." But the people and the planet itself ARE in distress and in need of help. France and other nations tried to work within the framework of the United Nations to resolve the Iraqi crisis, but U.S. and British belligerence could not be overcome. Now Iraq is in chaos and the UN is in shambles....Anti-labor hysteria in 19th century Chicago reminds one of the present patriotic hysteria all over the U.S. The invasion of Iraq, like capitalism in general, encourages religious, nationalist and patriotic illusions and obscures other critical problems like poverty, ignorance and ecological destruction.
Once again, the far left manages to co-opt something as their own. They have the uncanny ability to take every holiday or even the world over and turn it into their own cause. This year, they manage to equate May Day with the U.S. invasion of Iraq. I wonder how long it took them to come up with those words that allowed them to make the jump from labor movement to patriotic hysteria and warmongering.
What if everyone took holidays and memorial days and so forth and marked them as their own. What if we all decided we wanted to turn national days of celebration or mourning or festivals into actions to support our own causes? I mean, why not get a day of your own? Why not take May 2nd and call it "People Against Everything Day" and petition the government of your country to make it nationally recognized?
I'm going to fight back. I'm taking May 1st and making it my own. I will make everyone forget about protests and marches on oil companies and anarchist soccer tournaments and even that silly Maypole singing and dancing, which reminds me too much of The Wicker Man, anyhow.
Henceforth, let it be known that for this May 1st and all future May 1sts as they may occur will be known as Make Your Own Holiday Day. Instead of heading out to socialist demonstrations of violence and anti-authority postering, do something for yourself. Make this day your own. Suggestions:
Blogger Appreciation Day
Drink Yourself Silly Day
Strike Against Cleaning the Bathroom Day
Sexual Expermintation Day
Tip Your Gas Station Attendant Day
Take Out Your Old Gaming System Day
I'm sure you can come up with something of your own. Me, I'm going to make this National Appreciation of Comic Books and Action Figures Day.
May 1st is now mine. Make it yours. Dedicate a day to your loved one, or loved thing. Whatever do with it, make sure it outdoes and outshines what May Day has become. Adopt an Anarchist Day, anyone?
Comments
Great idea! Now lets see....I could make it "I Should Really Study my Italian Day" or "Once-A-Year-Laundry-Day". Hehehe :-)
Posted by: naynay | May 1, 2003 08:35 AM
Ahhh... I always wanted a Beat a Dirty Hippie day... and with me living so close to Northhampton, Mass.... Bliss
Posted by: Shalegrey | May 1, 2003 08:47 AM
The real trick will be to see if they can corrupt Cinco de Mayo! The international "Get drunk on Coronas and Tequila" day. Surely even the insane far left conspiracy whackos can enjoy a good drunk fest, can't they ?
Yeah, yeah, it's all about Mexican Independence and surely they are convinced Bush and "neo-cons" are out to put an end to THAT too!
Posted by: Sherard Anderson | May 1, 2003 08:49 AM
Please don't turn May 2 into "People Against Everything Day!" That might severely impair my ability to gather people to celebrate my birthday!
I'm using May 1 as "Get Out of Bed Without Hitting the Snooze Alarm Day." Once a year is enough!
Posted by: AimeeC | May 1, 2003 08:50 AM
Well hell, the lefties coopted May Day years ago. That's why Labor Day in the US was deliberately chosen in a different month (to piss off the commies).
Personally, I'm going to call today "Try to get a little Whoopee Day". I'm sure it will be every bit as successful as it has been in the past.
Posted by: Ken Summers | May 1, 2003 08:57 AM
Mon dieu! So far I've resisted, but one of these days the spirit will be weak and I'll click on the Indymedia link to see what the site is all about.
They'd have been far better off reminding folks that May 1 is traditional labour day in some of their favourite countries
Posted by: Jane | May 1, 2003 09:12 AM
Hooray, hooray, the first of May! Outdoor f***ing starts today!
Posted by: Larry | May 1, 2003 09:27 AM
I'm thinking today should be "Make Your Neighbors Jealous Because You Have More Sex Than They Do" Day.
Sounds like a plan to me. Now, if only I weren't trapped at work......
Posted by: Lisa | May 1, 2003 09:50 AM
I personally like the idea of "Drink yourself silly day"...that works well when your shot from a long week :)
Posted by: chris | May 1, 2003 10:03 AM
This Saturday I'll be celebrating "The Kentucky Derby is Decadent And Depraved Day," mint julep in hand.
Posted by: Hondo | May 1, 2003 10:10 AM
How about "National Respect for Others' Preferences in Music, No Matter How Misguided or Lame Day"? puts on a Rush CD _
Posted by: Alex Gray | May 1, 2003 10:20 AM
How about "Indymedia Should Fuck Off Day?" Oh wait...that's every day.
"Drink Yourself Silly Day" will have to wait until tomorrow, at least for me.
Posted by: David Jaroslav | May 1, 2003 10:32 AM
HooRay Hooray
The First Day of May
Outdoor Fucking Starts Today
May 1st -- International Hednoism Day
Posted by: TX Vet | May 1, 2003 10:38 AM
Sorry AimeeC, It's also my birthday tomorrow, and I kind of like the idea of it being "people against evreything day." So the vote is tied.
Posted by: thanatos | May 1, 2003 10:48 AM
I was gonna make it Adopt An Idiotarian Day, You just know they're orphans since even their own mothers couldn't love 'em.
But now I think I'm gonna go with Tx Vet's suggestion.
Posted by: JC South | May 1, 2003 10:51 AM
I been considering "Show Up For Meals Naked Day". I'm kinda concerned about celebrating alone. Maybe just Answer The Door Naked Day.
Posted by: BigD | May 1, 2003 11:04 AM
How about Ted Rall Appreciation Day.
(ok, now I'm picking a fight.. grin)
Posted by: Ravenwood | May 1, 2003 11:04 AM
Don't forget, May 3rd is Free Comic Book Day :)
Posted by: Tyler | May 1, 2003 11:06 AM
I'll stick with "Bitch-slap A Communist Day".
Posted by: Chris | May 1, 2003 11:22 AM
Okay, great post and all, but I just really needed to say how much I hated The Wicker Man.
Posted by: zombyboy | May 1, 2003 11:45 AM
"Jerk The Gherkin Day"
Posted by: Keith | May 1, 2003 11:46 AM
When I was a kid, May Day was treated as nothing more special than the "first day of spring" (even in Florida where spring arrives some time in February), to be celebrated by dancing around the Maypole. Later -- in junior high, I think, we were taught about how May Day was actually an ancient fertility festival day, and that the Maypole was a phallic fertility symbol. So all those little girls dancing around the Maypole with their ribbons were... well, you get the picture. So the sex celebration will just be taking May Day back to its roots.
Posted by: Andrea Harris | May 1, 2003 11:46 AM
Dayum Harris
nuthin gets by you :oP
Posted by: TX Vet | May 1, 2003 11:58 AM
How about "Buy An 'Anarchist' A One-Way Ticket to Somalia (So They'll Know What REAL Anarchy Is Like) Day"?
Posted by: Joe Green | May 1, 2003 12:01 PM
I always thought it was the start of outdoor nookie season (in the northern hemisphere) like larry said above.
Posted by: Robert | May 1, 2003 09:00 PM
"I always thought it was the start of outdoor nookie season (in the northern hemisphere) like larry said above.
Posted by Robert at May 1, 2003 09:00 PM "
Only for the weak.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 2, 2003 03:53 PM
I think our beloved national president's got us all beat: http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/04/20030430-26.html
Posted by: Alex Gray | May 2, 2003 05:10 PM
well, as a real life druid (yeah, we do exist), i'd like to say how disgusted i am with these people coopting beltaine. which, people, is the original name. fertility festival, return of spring festival, etc... its a celebration of fucking life. it isnt a day for them to be whining and moping around.
unfortunatly, many pagans are also leftists. so i'm sure many of them are nodding their heads like the sheep that they are.
Posted by: katydid | May 2, 2003 10:49 PM
only 137 days left (i think)
Posted by: Anonymous | May 3, 2003 10:22 PM
LOL... May Day hasn't "been co-opted by the left" -- it's actually been associated with unions and progressive movements for about 70 years.
Of course, if you're the prototypical "American yahoo" conservative who hates Europe and refuses to learn a thing about it, you wouldn't know that May Day is a workers' holiday in Europe.
I'm a conservative too, but I know my history. And not from the History Channel. Try reading up on these things BEFORE you spout off next time.
Posted by: Bozak | May 26, 2003 09:36 PM
i am with whoever says to stop moping around like spoilt brats. You should get a friggin life
Posted by: Steph | April 29, 2004 11:51 PM
Hey, Bozak: Actually, for over 100 years--not a mere 70.
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