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3:30 press conference

The Slutpublican Party will have an important annoucement tonight on where we stand on the issue of consenting adults sodomozing each other in the name of love and lust in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Stay tuned to the blog of the vice-prez to be for this press conference. And may I suggest that if you are gunning for one of our coveted cabinet spots, you should go over there and ply Mr. Swerdloff with kind words in his comments.

More announcements:

Please join us in welcoming to our cabinet the Secretary of Conspiracies, Eric Akawie.

His resume was beautiful, describing how he would be "in charge of coordinating administration policy with the Illuminati, Elders of Zion, Bilderberges, Rosicrucians, Grey Aliens, Elevated Masters, the Jesuits, Masons (both Scottish and Egyptian rites), and all the rest I can't tell you about until you're inaugurated. I am also responsible for the care and feeding of the Thing Under the Pentagon."

Somebody has to feed that thing (we call him Ashcroft). I'm just glad it ain't me.

We have also filled the position as Minister of Information, whose job it is to confuse and befuddle the press with as much disinformation and lies as possible. Dave will handle that job, and he will do it in limerick form.

We have some honorary positions up for grabs as well. Look for them later.

Oh, did I mention that we are now screening for the position of Official White House Blogger? Anyone interested?

The Small Victory Jukebox will be open tonight, with a running theme of songs about sex. Or politics. Or both.

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Comments

Double postings make me see conspiracies everywhere. Or was this a Ministry of Information function?

I notice the Gnomes of Zurich weren't mentioned. I hope Mr. Akawie took them into consideration.

There is no double posting. Never has been. You can't fool us with your lies, Infidel!

I'd like to volunteer for the position of Offical Biertaster and Bourbon Expert Sampler. Trust me, I am well versed in brewing and drinking beer, and have a special place in my heart for bourbon. I await your decision....

L.

Just what would the position of official White House Blogger entail?

The Gnomes of Zurich? The Gnomes of Zurich are a myth.Do you want to be taken seriously, Keith? Then I suggest you stop all this ridiculous talk about Gnomes.

Just some friendly advice from the Department of Conspiracy