3:30 press conference
The Slutpublican Party will have an important annoucement tonight on where we stand on the issue of consenting adults sodomozing each other in the name of love and lust in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Stay tuned to the blog of the vice-prez to be for this press conference. And may I suggest that if you are gunning for one of our coveted cabinet spots, you should go over there and ply Mr. Swerdloff with kind words in his comments.
Please join us in welcoming to our cabinet the Secretary of Conspiracies, Eric Akawie.
His resume was beautiful, describing how he would be "in charge of coordinating administration policy with the Illuminati, Elders of Zion, Bilderberges, Rosicrucians, Grey Aliens, Elevated Masters, the Jesuits, Masons (both Scottish and Egyptian rites), and all the rest I can't tell you about until you're inaugurated. I am also responsible for the care and feeding of the Thing Under the Pentagon."
Somebody has to feed that thing (we call him Ashcroft). I'm just glad it ain't me.
We have also filled the position as Minister of Information, whose job it is to confuse and befuddle the press with as much disinformation and lies as possible. Dave will handle that job, and he will do it in limerick form.
We have some honorary positions up for grabs as well. Look for them later.
Oh, did I mention that we are now screening for the position of Official White House Blogger? Anyone interested?
The Small Victory Jukebox will be open tonight, with a running theme of songs about sex. Or politics. Or both.