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The Slutpublican campaign trail begins

We are looking for a few good men/women/androgynous beings to fill our Cabinet.

So far, Dr. Grosz has joined our tour de force as Secretary of Defense, and Mike of Cold Fury is our Secretary of Transportation (a motorcycle in every home!).

If you know of a cabinet position (real or imagined) that you feel you could take on with verve, eagerness and gleeful willingness to abandon your dignity and good reputation, please let me know.

The domains have been purchased. The Slutpublicans are real.

[That means we need to fill the position of Secretary of Web Design - for which the pay is none but the glory is as everlasting as a great big globby grape gobstopper]


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And you didn't email me. hmph

Ahh! Secretary of Defense is already gone!

Can I take the NSA? They get all the cool new toys...

With my Photoshop fetish, I'd love to be the "Press Secretary"

I know I'm not very visible, but I would like to be secretary of the treasury or finance. I am extremely qualified. I am an accountant who hasn't balanced her own checkbook in 4 years and I have yet to meet a deadline at work for anything. I do, however, know the best ways to string along collection agencies so they'll leave you alone for long periods of time.

Really I just want to dance naked, though.


Can I be prom queen?

Can I be Govenor of Jersey?

I want to be placed in charge of the research and development section for commercial, military, and aerospace production.

I'll make sure that we have the tools and weapons of the 26th century here and now!

Limerick Secretary? France-Bashing Secretary?

Or edgumokashun. I wint to a publick skool luweezianner so I'm hiley koalafied four that.

I still want to be Attorney General.

i'd love to be secretary of web design if seki doesn't want the job. she, er, sounds like she does, tho.

Can I be head of the NEA? I'll make sure that only submissions from accomplished porn directors are allowed.

I really, really, really always wanted to be Secretary of Offense. I have ways of pissing nearly everyone off.

Please, please, please, pick me, pick me, pick me.

Tanya, as I have just said to Michele in email, I canna do them all, and I got my start doing stuff for free, so I should chill and let the newbies have some. In other words, you go right ahead. I'm bucking for Secretary of Chocolate and Sex Toys.

I'd like to be Secretary of Ignoring Big Problems And Offering To Make More Coffee Instead.

I'd like to be Chief of Staff. What are my qualifications:? I know nothing about the job and will never learn about it but I am scheming and devilish, so I can do the job.

Whaddya say?

Head of FDA.
Mmmmm, new designer drugs.

Secretary General of the Frozen North, please.

Either that or the Minister of Pie.

Wait. How about both? Secretary General of Baked Goods & Lutefisk.

OH Please, I want to be the Secretary of Interior Design. But I'll gladly settle for being an intern ;-O........

Well, I want to be head of the Bureau of Indian Affairs. I could waste billions as well as anyone.

I want research and development, please! I'll find all the cool sex toys and whips and crazy things to hang on the walls of everyone's offices...

May I be Secretary of Cool Music and Video Games?

FHWA Administrator. Sure, it's not a cabinet job, but you get to bulldoze people's houses!

Oh fine, start this in the middle of a day when I can't get on the web.

Well forget the government insider bit, been there, done that, I wanna land a nice contractor/consulting position very close on the periphery, with a huge travel account and lots funding for studies, reviews, and just plain general gobfobbery of all kinds. Minimum of business class domestic, and first class preffered for all international fact finding or research trips. Nothing smaller than a mid-size for rental, and have to have the opportunity to not only load on the sky miles, but boost the standings in the Marriot and Hilton rewards programs as well.

Let the others jump in to face the slings and arrows of official scrutiny from whoever gets stuck (or really wants to) play GSA auditor in this whole scheme...I wanna be a beltway (beltline?) bandit, baby....

Now lets talk 401K and supplemental dental, and we won;t even mention double dipping unless you're talking about something else....

You know the job I want:

Secretary for the Department of Leggy Cocktail Waitresses.

I want to be the Secretary of Pies. "A pie on every table," that's the motto for my new government agency. Until we've achieved universal pie coverage, we cannot truly consider ourselves a free nation.