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give me back my joystick

Mario Party 2 is the most boring game EVER.

Who the hell wants to play a video game where you have to sit around and wait for three other people (or computer people) to finish their turn? Don't we buy video games because we like fast, instant gratification? If I wanted to watch some gorilla hop around like he's on crack for twenty minutes while I wait for my turn, I would have stayed in the 80's, waiting on line in the arcade while keeping on eye on that dirtbag with the Lynyrd Skynyrd logo painted on the back of his denim jacket because he keeps stealing the quarters I put up on the machine.

Ok, so I'm just pissed that the kids keep beating me at this game. Those N64 controllers SUCK. It was bad enough when I had to remember codes on the Sega (U-D-L-R-B-R-U-D-A; Yes....ten more Aladdins!) but now it's like R-L-U-D-A-B-C-G-36-24-32. Hike.

Ah, the hell with it. I'm gonna go blow up some caterpillars.


All Nintendo controllers look and handle like they were designed by the good people at Fisher Price.

Get more than 10 pixels on a game graphic and require more than two buttons to move/fire, and it's too much for me to handle! I'm old-fashioned that way.

while you're blowing up caterpillars, I'll be blowing up space ships! GALAGA kicks ass!

Did you see the Atari Anniversary Edition CD? I has quite a few of the old games like Centipede and Missle Command, and even a setting to spiff them up a bit so they aren't just 16 color squarish thingies.

I was waiting for another disk of that kind so I can get a fresh copy of Dig-Dug (Was that Atari?), but I heard the company is folding.

I'm partial to the vector games like Asteroids.

When tell resluts as dumass limick countest? For makem harhar. CLICK

That's a hard comment to beat... but if I hit it enough that ought to beat it.

Gamecube controllers? Ha! I've got those X-Box controllers to contend with. They come with Thumb-Sherpas to guide your hands round the bulky bastards.

All Mario Par-ties are great, especially the one with Bumper Balls. Controllers are great.

I can't take any of these newfangled (read: since the mid 90s) joysticks. All I could handle was UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-L-R-L-R-START. sigh


Can't. Stop. Laughing.


If I recall, that's the code to fight Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punch Out, for the old 8-bit NES. Even though I haven't used it since, I've had that memorized for 15 years. Un huh.