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from the peta-files

Those PETA people get goofier by the day.

Ingrid Newkirk, founder and president of PETA has taken activism to a new level. According to her last will and testament, after her death:

  • Part of her body should be barbecued as a protest gainst "fleshfoods".
  • Her feet should be turned into ornaments to represent the depravity of using animals in this manner.
  • Part of her skin will be turned into a leather product to show solidarity with the animals whose skins are also turned into fabric
  • She is leaving her eyes (to be mounted) to the United States Environmental Protection Agency, in a deranged "I am always watching you" message, and
  • Her pointing finger will be left to Kenneth Feld, owner of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus.

Ms Newkirk also said in her will that she hoped foot-and-mouth disease would reach the US since it would harm those "who profit from giving people heart attacks".

Now, I could make a million smarmy comments and jokes here, but I leave that to you.

Sure, it's great to have your eyeballs mounted and shipped off to your enemies after you are dead, but I would be more inclined to applaud Ms. Newkirk's ingenuity if she would allow me to personally dig those eyeballs out of her sockets with a spork while she was still alive. I would even dangle them from my rear-view mirror.

Breakfast sausage, anyone?


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference from the peta-files:

» BBQ? from Inoperable Terran
Michele has stumbled upon news of Ingrid Newkirk's will. (That's the head of PETA). Hilarity ensues, although probably not in the manner Ms. Newkirk intended.... [Read More]

» Random is Good from The Encyclopeteia
PETA's founder: Just plain nuts [Read More]

Ingrid...the other white meat... Ingrid Newkirk, founder and president of PETA has one heck of a last will and testament: [Read More]

Ingrid...the other white meat... Ingrid Newkirk, founder and president of PETA has one heck of a last will and testament: [Read More]


Hmm pointer finger.. i am assuming she actually means her middle finger...

isn't that special?

I don't understand the logic behind her "foot and mouth" disease curse. I mean if the animals are going to have to be killed anyway (as with the disease, they are euthanized) we might as well get to eat them.

this is an activist.
this is an activist on drugs.
any questions?

She should donate her brain to science, so that we might someday learn what causes the mental defect in these PETA people.

(Homer) Mmmmmm, NEWkirk!(/Homer)

Will anyone get to taste barbecued Newkirk? Will she be served rare? Would cole slaw or potato salad be a better side dish?

As for her feet, I think they'd look cute as wind-up toy feet.

This leaves open so many questions. What's about the whole head? Would she donate it to a hairdressen because they use animal products in their cosmetic? And why doesn't she donate her boobs to a turkey farm because people who make so much money with turkey breast? Reminds me I've got to prepare the barbecue for tonight. We'll have dead pid, dead cow and dead chicken.

I can now recommend a proper donation to PETA.


Lilli Marleen: And why doesn't she donate her boobs to a turkey farm because people who make so much money with turkey breast?

"Donate her boobs" - You mean the entire PETA membership roll?

Dave, you cannot serve human meat rare. like pork it has to be thorough;y cooked because of the parasites in it.

Since Wind Rider is donating the Charcoal I'll donate my services to BBQ her ass - literally.

I'm, assuming that's the part she'll have cooked since, according to Albert Fish, is the most tasty. Given the chance I'd like to age her ass an additional 10 days and then use a dry rub of tarragon, sweet basil, crushed garlic, ground mustard, coarse black pepper and kosher salt. I think that would really bring out the flavour of her ass.

Damn, now I'm hungry...

I would HATE to be the executor of that will!

Know what Peta would like? That Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders. Pass it on.

She does make a convincing point in favor of animals by demonstrating 99% of most butt-licking puppies are smarter than a PETA activist.
And bunnies too.
Smarter, I mean.
Sheesh, where the hell is my coffee?

Ingrid is the very definition of self-parody. Her feet should be used as ornaments?
"Pickled human feet were hung from the mantle with care..." Turning her skin into a leather product is something I, as a dog owner, can get behind, however. I hope it's used to make chew-toys.

Wanting her eyes mounted reminds me of an old Emo Phillips routine, where he describes his reaction the first time he caught a fish, saying "I wanted to mount it...but there were people around."

So, when do Penn & Teller do an episode of Bullshit! about this? poised with finger over VCR remote

If we weren't supposed to eat animals, they wouldn't be made out of MEAT!

She should be mounted whole--and made into a travelling exhibit of Stupidity.

I've always felt that a grapefruit spoon was a better ocular removal tool. Pointy tip, serrated edge, bellissima!

Barbecued? I dunno...I've always eaten my women raw.




Dang. And I was looking forward to visiting her grave and pouring a beer on it.

After I drank it, of course.

People fr the Unethical Treatment of Humans.


Pronounced 'putz'

MonkeyPants, Could also be "Puss" if you have a lisp. :)

Those PETA people are fucking insane.
Why doesn't somebody do something about them?
I'd happily protest them!